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MNHQ

Find out how Mumsnetters got help from their parents to get on the property ladder

457 replies

LucyBMumsnet · 17/12/2019 09:52

This sponsored discussion is now closed

Getting on the property ladder can be an uphill battle for first-time buyers - from the financial challenges to the legal paperwork it throws at home seekers, many rely on help from parents to make it happen. That’s why we want to find out if you’re considering or currently purchasing or have already purchased your first home and how you went about it.

So we are asking you what help you received or are receiving from your parents, if at all, and roughly, when this was? Who started the conversation, you or your parents? Did you tap into the Bank of Mum and Dad and how did you do that - through their savings, using their existing assets or property, them getting a loan, accessing their pensions or another way? Was it in the form of gift, loan or early inheritance? Did you seek legal advice and formalise the process with your parents? If so, how easy was it to sort out the legal side?

If you could, how would you change the process of receiving your parents’ financial support when buying your first home? If you’re considering saving for your own children’s futures - perhaps so they can buy a home - what’s important to you?

Whether you have considered, currently getting on the property ladder or already have your first dream home, post your thoughts on the topic on the thread below. All MN users who leave their opinion will be entered into a prize draw where 1 lucky winner will get a £150 voucher for a store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck,
MNHQ

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Find out how Mumsnetters got help from their parents to get on the property ladder
OP posts:
Nottheshrinkingcapgrandpa · 28/12/2019 22:09

We did everything ourselves. Not everyone is lucky enough to have parents who can afford to help, and the assumption that people do can be rather annoying at times.

ItIsWhatItIsInnit · 28/12/2019 23:16

Nothing. We've saved 50k over 4 years all on our own.

30under · 29/12/2019 08:44

Mine gave us some money when it matured from premium bonds. We paid it back with interest as a priority.

liane1987 · 29/12/2019 10:32

They encouraged me to save 10% from my first pay check and keep that going, going forward. Also to get a credit card but pay 100% back each month. Im so thankful for this advice as it got me on the ladder so much quicker than some of my friends who didn't save and wrecked up credit card debts.

ProfessionalBoss · 29/12/2019 10:44

My husband and I got engaged, and my in-laws asked if we would like our wedding gift ahead of the event, as we had just bought a house. They gave us a % (money) towards our deposit (we had already paid it, but it gave us extra money for furniture), they also had our property rewired, had gas central heating installed, and carpeted throughout for us!

We realise how incredibly lucky we are in comparison to other people.

Plus my parents buying other "big" items, sofa and chairs, new internal doors, a new external door and windows, mum bought us a brand new fitted kitchen, and a new bathroom suite.

(This was over 10 years ago).

ProfessionalBoss · 29/12/2019 11:05

We had bought a property that was in need of renovation, we moved in as soon as the electrics had been redone, gas central heating installed and it was carpeted. The kitchen, bathroom, doors, windows etc were all renewed whilst we were living here.

Our mortgage is currently about half the rental value of similar properties, and we only have about 12 years until we are mortgage free. We could make "over payments" however we like our comfortable standard of living, and we are in no hurry to pay the mortgage in full as we have no intention of moving anyway.

The best piece of advice we were given by our parents had to be;
Buy the worst house in the best street
because as soon as you start to make improvements, you increase the property value. I would definitely pass that on to first time buyers! Our house was below market value because it needed work when we bought it. Now we have at least doubled our equity should we decide to sell.

We don't have any children (yet), so our house and any savings we have are being passed on to our nephew, if we are unable to conceive. We have a current will in place, which can be updated at any time. A will is of course something young people typically don't want to think about, but it's extremely important in my opinion.

ProfessionalBoss · 29/12/2019 11:36

I would also like to add, that since we lived in a Woman's Aid refuge when my parents split up, my mum has worked very hard in a relatively low paying job, but she has been saving for our future since then, because although she rents her house (local council) she wanted to be able to help us in some way buy a house of our own so that we would never be "homeless" again. She has been a fantastic example of a great work ethic, hard work, dedication, and discipline when it comes to saving. Her view (which I mirror), is you shouldn't over commit yourself financially, always having a contingency fund within your current account which you can live off for a few months in the case of an unexpected event, without having to rely on what is in your savings account. I have been regularly putting money in my savings account all my life and I have no intention of ever stopping! I paid for my own wedding, (a very large church event), I've paid for my education, I've paid for every car I've owned etc.

Gotobloodysleep · 29/12/2019 13:24

We bought our house from my in laws, it was the house the dh grr up in. We bought it for half price, with the other half being dh's inheritance. My parents also gave me £50k as an early inheritance. We would t have been able to buy without their help

Icapturethecast1e · 29/12/2019 15:05

I was taught to be thrifty and save my money for important things. I worked from age 16 whilst completing my studies. Bought a house with cash using my savings along with my husbands and a loan from my father. We lived with my parents and rented out the house for a number of years. We split the rent with my father so it was a good investment for him too.
I feel secure knowing we own our home and we can use the money we save on renting or paying a mortgage on other things. We mostly save our money hoping to buy another property or business in the future. I don't think our children will follow our way of life, only time will tell.

angiehoggett · 29/12/2019 17:38

I've owned a home with my now husband for just over 3 and a half years. We combined our savings for the deposit but my parents have been a massive help since we moved in helping us with DIY, furniture etc.

cluckyhen · 29/12/2019 18:25

None. In fact, they haven't helped out with anything. They didn't help me pay for our wedding, they haven't helped out with childcare. Everything that my husband and I have, we've earnt ourselves.

Gillian1980 · 29/12/2019 18:28

I married somebody who already owned a house (bought with his ex, no parental contributions from either side).

When we moved to a bigger home we borrowed £5k off my dad to help cover moving costs as we had to accept a low offer and it made things tricky short term.

It does seem insane to me that you can have 1 or 2 adults with decent jobs, who can’t get on the housing ladder. We both have fairly secure, reasonably paid jobs and it’s been a struggle to get mortgages.

maclinks · 29/12/2019 18:44

when I was born my mums last parent had just died so they inherited a good amount of money they invested in shares for me and my sibs about £1000 each in the mid 60s when I bought my first house in 87 ( before the huge jump in house prices ) the investment paid for 1/2 the house and for a 5 y old second hand car , my parents helped me pay the solicitor fees too. I was very lucky .

CodYe · 29/12/2019 20:20

My parents are excellent at DIY and in the past renovated some properties. When we bought our first house, they couldn't offer finances but they were able to help us modernise and improve by teaching us the skills we didn't already have, and working on the house with us. This helped us keep costs down, and we have been able to keep working on the house now we have some skills; plastering, papering, laying carpet, some basic plumbing and fixing up shelves/other wall-based stuff.

This was about 6 years ago. We'd like to be able to put a bit of cash towards our children's deposit in the future, but we want them to have some skills to so we'll be passing them on as well.

villagefox · 29/12/2019 22:28

My parents could not afford to pay for my deposit however they allowed me to move back home for a year and pay a minimal rent so that I could save a deposit for my first house.

becks213 · 30/12/2019 02:29

No help from my parents or my partners parents just 13 years of saving for a deposit - finally we have our very own first flat

CherryOnBlue · 30/12/2019 09:04

We had help from parents on both sides. DHs parents gave him £20k towards a deposit (he’d saved the same himself) on a small, very run down flat in 15 years ago. My parents helped do it up (both DIY and financially to about £5k. I think we paid £7k ourselves). When we moved 10 years later the flat was worth over 4x what we had paid for it (central london) but despite a hefty deposit (75%ish) we still couldn’t get a large enough mortgage on our current place (a modest sized house, less central but still London). My parents gave us the £50k which enabled us to do so. They also bought us the white goods that needed replacing. They’d given the same amount to my sister earlier and it was always understood that we would get the same and factored the amount into our budget when house hunting. We were not expected to pay back either gift. Both came from savings and neither effected parents/in-laws standard of living. I appreciate how lucky we are, although most home owners we know have had a very similar amount (if not more) gifted from their families too.
Our DS is only 5, but I intend to do similar for him. The plan is to build savings to do this, but I would happily downsize into a small flat if needed. I will also (hopefully!) give him sound financial advice and teach him the importance of saving. Property prices are crazy where we are (it’s honestly not a flashy area with large houses) and I can’t imagine not wanting to help him as much as we can.

jacqui5366 · 30/12/2019 09:33

No help - they could not, my mum was a single parent, we saved for the deposit and lived very frugally for years until DS1 and 2 came along. I never had much money and learned to budget from my mum. I have never been in debt, arrears and am passing as much financial guidance on to my children as I can

Nquartz · 30/12/2019 09:46

My mum remortgaged her house for an extra £20k so she could give my brother & I £10k each.

This was in 2006, and I was able to buy a house for £90k with a £9k deposit. I used my savings to then buy furniture etc and the £1k from my mum for the solicitor fees.

It was my mum's suggestion rather than us asking.

Nquartz · 30/12/2019 09:49

Also to add, I was living in a different city renting & therefore would never have been able to save enough for a deposit.

My daughter is only 7 but we've saved all birthday & Christmas money she's ever received, her child benefit since she was 1 & my mum saves £20 a month for her so she has over £7k already saved for when she needs a house/car etc.

myusername12345 · 30/12/2019 13:11

Saved up ourselves for a deposit. Wish we had done it sooner rather than saving to get married.

TellMeItsNotTrue · 30/12/2019 13:57

My parents helped with advice, and let the three of us stay with them as long as we wanted or needed to, they didn't take rent but made it clear we should be saving while we could

If they could have helped with 3 deposits they would have, but they gave us a lot by teaching us

mollymoo818 · 31/12/2019 09:40

I was so lucky that both my husbands and my parents gave us some money towards our deposit which alongside what we had saved allowed us to buy what we wanted. I will be forever grateful they were in a position to do that for us as there is no way we could have afforded it without them and I have loads of friends who's parents couldn't afford to help them and they found it incredibly difficult to get on the ladder.

blackleggingsandatshirt · 31/12/2019 10:48

My dad bought my house (85K) and I am paying him back interest free.

Montydoo · 31/12/2019 10:51

They gave me financial advice, I wanted a large house (which I could just afford) but I took their advice and bought a house which was well within my budget, and as I had DS1 and 2 within 3 years of moving in, I was able to still afford the payments. They paid my deposit £10k which got me on the property ladder.