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MNHQ

Find out how Mumsnetters got help from their parents to get on the property ladder

457 replies

LucyBMumsnet · 17/12/2019 09:52

This sponsored discussion is now closed

Getting on the property ladder can be an uphill battle for first-time buyers - from the financial challenges to the legal paperwork it throws at home seekers, many rely on help from parents to make it happen. That’s why we want to find out if you’re considering or currently purchasing or have already purchased your first home and how you went about it.

So we are asking you what help you received or are receiving from your parents, if at all, and roughly, when this was? Who started the conversation, you or your parents? Did you tap into the Bank of Mum and Dad and how did you do that - through their savings, using their existing assets or property, them getting a loan, accessing their pensions or another way? Was it in the form of gift, loan or early inheritance? Did you seek legal advice and formalise the process with your parents? If so, how easy was it to sort out the legal side?

If you could, how would you change the process of receiving your parents’ financial support when buying your first home? If you’re considering saving for your own children’s futures - perhaps so they can buy a home - what’s important to you?

Whether you have considered, currently getting on the property ladder or already have your first dream home, post your thoughts on the topic on the thread below. All MN users who leave their opinion will be entered into a prize draw where 1 lucky winner will get a £150 voucher for a store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck,
MNHQ

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Find out how Mumsnetters got help from their parents to get on the property ladder
OP posts:
MrsRobert · 26/12/2019 18:13

My parents had help from their parents which came with obligation and constant damaging interference in my family's life. I think that's why my parents didn't help me.

alislim · 27/12/2019 00:43

I rented for years and years with DH. When my son was born we had to save a deposit for a house. My mum and dad weren't in the position to give us money but my mum looked after my son so I didn't have to pay out in extortionate childcare fees.
Saved the money instead and bought my house 3 years ago Wink

Aramox · 27/12/2019 04:36

My parents had bought their own house outright many years earlier (£1k!) so didn’t even understand mortgages plus by the time I was in a position to get one my dad was dead and my mum not financially savvy. We each inherited a few thousand and I used that as deposit on a tiny flat then scaled up. Was lucky it was just after the 1990s crash so a flat was 3 x my starting salary. I valued my independence but looking back my siblings could have benefitted from a lot more parental advice - I think financial education is really lacking. I will probably try to help ds with deposit eventually , by downsizing if necessary, but planning for our own care will also be important.

Oblomov20 · 27/12/2019 08:11

No help.

This is a new thing, surely? No one I know in their 40's was given anything.

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 27/12/2019 08:56

One of my BF's DH inherited enough money to buy their semi in a town - not within the M25 - outright in the late 90s. She has no understanding of what it is to have a 25 year mortgage.

Also, had a friend whose DM gifted her and her sister £30K each to help them get on the property ladder back in the late 90s. Again, somewhere cheap to live, so her mortgage won't have been more than about £25K.

DPs quite comfortably off but have never offered so much as a penny to help.

StrongTeaDropOfMilkNoSugar · 27/12/2019 09:10

We got engaged in 2001 and were very clear that we didn’t want a big traditional wedding. Both my sisters had had big weddings that my parents had contributed towards, and they insisted that even if we weren’t going to have a big do, they would like to gift us a similar amount as they’d spent on each wedding. We decided to use this along with our own savings towards a deposit on our first flat. To this day I don’t regret not having a fancy wedding, and am incredibly grateful to my parents for their generosity, as it was never expected.

Campervan69 · 27/12/2019 11:29

My parents helped me get onto the property ladder by gifting us £5,000 it was a lot of money in those days. We bought a lovely little terraced house for £52,000. It would be closer to £400,000 now as house prices where I live have soared.

Many years later when my dad was dying he paid off the remainder of our mortgage for us (we'd moved 3 times by then and this was a much bigger house)

They are wonderful parents and I will always be grateful to them for their help throughout my life. Intend to do the same for my children.

Anon7728 · 27/12/2019 12:41

They didn’t! I had to work 5 jobs and save like a beast by flat sharing with 4 others, hardly sleeping and no social life or holiday for 4 years - no expensive coffees or takeaway lunches and reviewing best bank savings accounts every few months. I did it though, managed to save £50k deposit. A very satisfying and proud feeling for myself (don’t mean to sound arrogant or anything, it was just a great feeling of achievement and all that hard work and exhaustion paid off.

AhoyMrBeaver · 27/12/2019 12:49

We didn't get any help, financial or advisory, from any of our parents. We were living in a city miles from any of them and didn't need any money beyond our own savings to put down a deposit. It was quite a long time ago though, when two decent salaries was sufficient to put aside savings and secure a reasonable mortgage.

alem17 · 27/12/2019 13:28

They paid our legal fees

Pilesbegone · 27/12/2019 15:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

phillie1 · 27/12/2019 17:36

lived at home for 3 years, whilst qualifyiong as an accountant. All the rent I paid, they gave back to me for my deposit(but I didnt know they were going to) Problem is kids think we should also do this for them now!. My brohter also lent me a sizeable sum, interest free

Wheresmrlion · 27/12/2019 19:21

Nothing from my parents. They’re terrible with money.

My in laws gave us £5k towards our starter home which helped us get on the ladder a year earlier than we otherwise would have done. They saved hard over the years to do that for their children and I will be forever grateful. DH then inherited £10k when we moved again (it was his fathers inheritance but he passed it straight on to his children to help them) which covered stamp duty and let us move again around a year earlier than we otherwise could have.

The difference in attitude between my parents and in laws is stark, I have learned so much from the choices they each made and know which I will be replicating with my own children.

Panicovereveryone · 27/12/2019 20:52

£100k gift 20 years ago

Panicovereveryone · 27/12/2019 20:54

This is a new thing, surely? No one I know in their 40's was given anything

I’m 47

excitedemmi · 27/12/2019 22:37

My parents helped me get on the "ladder". I hadn't even asked them! I was happy renting, but they said to me that I must get on the ladder as I was sensible and I had a steady job, and they lent me £80k as a deposit (we're in the South East, although this was 8 years ago). This was out of their savings;. It took 6 months for the chain to line up, so my boyfriend and I moved in with them for 6 months after the end of our lease. They wrote up a "legal contract" with us (with no actual legal advice); basically to cover themselves to get the money back if I went rogue or if we broke up (we didn't - he's now my husband), or if they needed it (contract said things like they could make us sell the house to give them the money back). They later on went on to do the same thing for my sister when my grandmother died and left my parents inheritance.

They now don't expect the money back, but we have actually used the uplift in our property value since we bought 8 years ago to buy two further properties elsewhere in the country. They have really set us up.

I would definitely do the same for my children. My main concern would be how sensible they are, how stable their situation is, and protecting myself and my husband's finances, especially if in the case their relationship didn't work out.

Redshoeblueshoe · 28/12/2019 00:06

Mine died.
I'm not prepared to go that far yet.

babyboo1and2 · 28/12/2019 11:09

No financial help from our parents as they weren't in a position to help us. We are currently paying eldest child's rent whilst at university and will do the same for younger child in a few years time. Paying university rent plus our own mortgage means we aren't in a position to save for house deposits for our children at the moment. If we can do so in the future we will.

KingaRoo · 28/12/2019 11:35

We saved a large deposit through living very frugally while earning a reasonable amount for a few years. Helped that we were both working so hard we had little time to spend money!

Then when we came to buy our first home we found we didn't have quite enough. Coincidently my grandmother had just died and left my parents about 10k and they gave it directly to us to help with the deposit. They did the same for my sister. They didn't need the money and it meant that we could buy about a year earlier than otherwise. Without that we would have been priced out of the market as house prices rose a lot in the year after we bought.

MrRichTea · 28/12/2019 12:02

We didn't get any :/

purplevamp · 28/12/2019 14:31

My parents didn't help us get on the property ladder. We had to save a deposit all on our own. It did mean we had to compromise on the property we wanted as there was no way we could afford it. As it turned out our deposit was £40,000 about 20% of the asking price.

LaursB · 28/12/2019 17:06

Our parents gave us somewhere to live (rent free and food supplied) so that we could save.
We saved for 6 months and then bought a two bed shared ownership flat, stayed there 5 years and now in a large 3 bed home that we fully own.

ceejayen · 28/12/2019 18:11

I had no financial help from my parents. Back in the 70s we just worked and saved and bought a house. After several trade ups I am now mortgage free.

Quail15 · 28/12/2019 19:42

My parents encouraged me to start saving for my own home.
I was looking in an expensive London suburb as this was close to work and family but I was lucky in that my dad is a tradesman and this meant that I could buy the cheapest (ex rental/full of mold/ rising damp/no central heating) flat I could find ( as it was all I could afford) and have the advice and input from my dad to make it livable. We had a lot of family cleaning/DIY party's.

My dad lent me £3000 when my mortgage in principle fell through and I had to apply through another bank which wanted a higher deposit. - my DP and I paid him back within 2 years. My dad was self employed and had up and down cash flow but at that time he was able to afford to lend it to me. There was no formal agreement.

This was in 2013 but took 12 months to get the place in a fit enough state to move in but worth all the hard work.

MondeoFan · 28/12/2019 21:04

No help from parents, they could have but they wouldn't. My dad was from a large family so learnt to live frugally and still carries that on until this day even though their mortgage finished about 25 years ago.
If I go out with them for the day to a fairground etc I have to pay for my daughter (their grandchild) to go on the rides they don't even offer.