Would you and your partner take time off work if companies offered 6 months paid parental leave for all?

[JustineBMumsnet]

This activity is now closed

Having a new baby is an exciting time regardless of whether you’re a mum or a dad, and spending time with them in those first few months is a precious experience. A year ago Aviva introduced its equal paid parental leave policy, where all employees can take up to 12 months off, with no need for mums to share their maternity allowance. With this in mind, Aviva would like to hear your thoughts on giving all parents the same amount of time off.

Here’s what Caroline Prendergast, Interim Chief People Officer at Aviva has to say: “We decided to make all parents at Aviva eligible for the same amount of paid and unpaid time off, regardless of gender, sexual orientation or how they became a parent. We thought that dads would want to spend time with their new arrivals, just as mums do. One year on, our experience shows that with financial barriers removed, they do just that.”

You can find out more about Aviva as an employer here.

If all companies offered 6 months paid parental leave, do you think your spouse or partner would be prepared take the time off work to share childcare duties? If not, why not?

All who post below will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 voucher for the store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

Insight Terms and Conditions apply

He is a great husband and a fantastic father but he made it very clear from the outset that he doesn't want to do the day to day childcare and to be honest when he has had too, when I've had a girls weekend or when I had my second child he did step up but he found it very stressful and the house was a complete tip!!!

How is he possibly a 'great father'? I'm sorry but there should be some stigma to a man saying he basically can't be bothered to parent his children - a woman with the same attitude would be absolutely vilified.

I applaud Aviva for this policy. My work have a decent PL policy and try to encourage men to take SPL with their partner (I understand Aviva not making this a shared allowance, which would be ace), but my husband does not work for the same company and his firm hates any sort of pregnancy/baby related disruption and therefore does its utmost to stop men taking leave. He earns almost double my wage, and therefore a drop to SPP would mean we could not pay the mortgage. I know my husband will be far more "maternal" when the baby arrives than I will and frankly I think he would prefer to be a SATD for a year while I go back to work, but by pure economics, our arrangement will be determined on the traditional gender lines. More policies like Aviva's will help to even gender imbalance and I imagine will benefit a huge number of families that are currently forced into a position, rather than actively choosing that position.

My husband would definitely have taken some more time off if there was full pay or 80-90% of full pay on offer. On the whole though for us it's the ongoing childcare split that is important - he would far rather a better chance of working part-time at his level (director) and more leave to take during school holidays than a few more weeks off in the first year.

Wonderful policy. Anything that equalises caring responsibilities is a good thing in my book.

My husband's employer offers three weeks at full pay for paternity leave. He took two weeks when DD was born, and then worked a four day week for five weeks after that which really helped break things up for me.

I think having the father home more in the early days would help with breastfeeding - the father can keep life running while the mother deals with cluster feeding etc.

My husband will be taking a month of shared parental leave when I go back. I think it's a great idea, it will equalise things a bit (he's been a huge support, but BFing and maternity leave naturally mean most baby related things fall to me) and make my return to work easier.

I preferred to be on my own after the paternity leave ended, I had a routine, and know how I wanted things done, he just got in the way - and I think it was better for him to go back to work. I could nap when my DS slept - otherwise I would have not done this if my DH was around - banging and clattering.

How have you felt about the amount of time your partner was able to take off of work?
He took 2 weeks paternity and 4 weeks annual and unpaid leave - which was just enough.

How would you feel about them being at home with you for six months or more?

It would have been much easier for me, as my DS1 was a terrible sleeper and I did not get much sleep for the first 4 months - my zombie like state would have been prevented if I could nap during the day of my OH took over the reins.
Do you think your partner would take it if it was available to them?
It depended how we would be financially but yes he would.
How do you think it could change your family life with a new baby?
It would have made the whole process a lot easier to deal with, housework, shopping, washing and sleeping would have been given more time.

I think it's great that dads get the same opportunity because some dads are better with babies or just as good. I think in som

Sorry I didn't finish I was just going to say sometimes the mum wants to go back to work and the dad wants to look after baby because they are better or just want to do the baby bit.

Think it's an amazing idea! I think that if we want equality we should give men equal leave rights as woman where childcare is concerned. Businesses will benefit also as staff are likely to stay if they are being look after.

I think if both parents were able to take the time off (and didn’t have to share it eg 6 months each) it would be lovely. My dh only got 2 weeks, I’d have loved him to take longer. He would have taken as long as he could at full pay (6 months for me).

How have you felt about the amount of time your partner was able to take off of work? ..........it was not enough - one weeks paternity did not help us at all.
How would you feel about them being at home with you for six months or more? I think 6 months is too long - 3 months is more realistic.
Do you think your partner would take it if it was available to them? Morally yes - financially probably not - it would depend on if we could manage financially - and how it affected our working tax credit.
How do you think it could change your family life with a new baby?
It would take the pressure off - emotionally - but may not help financially.

Pregnant with my second one and I would love the opportunity to share my maternity leave. It wouldn’t leave my career so far behind and it would give my partner the opportunity to build a lovely bond with our child. It is really unfortunate that we talk about equality but not in the context of parental leave (for most employers!)

How have you felt about the amount of time your partner was able to take off of work? He took 3 months off (paid) which was wonderful us both to bond, and move from a family of 3 to a family of 4, it helped my first born as he did not feel pushed aside as we were both able to make extra time for him.

How would you feel about them being at home with you for six months or more?
6 months would have been wonderful (maybe for number 3)

Do you think your partner would take it if it was available to them?

yes, definitely

How do you think it could change your family life with a new baby?

It would (and did) make it much less stressful for me, the bond was stronger for him and my first born, was fully involved with the new arrival.

It’s nice that it is available but I’m not sure I’d have wanted my fiancé home for 6 months (or that he’d wanted to stay home for that long!). I think the couple of weeks we had was great to get us all adjusted but anything longer may have delayed getting into an ongoing routine

If it enables men to take time off to parent equally, that is great.

For us, we'd rather DH could save the time and take it later on, to relieve some of the childcare burden when I go back to work.

I've reduced my maternity pay (and leave) by 7 weeks so that my partner can take an extra two weeks after his statutory paternity leave, and five weeks when I go back to work when the baby is 6 months old. The two extra weeks at the begining will help me out tremendously as I'm a worrier and I just feel this extra time would help me settle into motherhood without being left alone with a newborn just two weeks after giving birth which seems daunting. The extra five weeks in the summer will allow him some alone time with the baby when I return to work and allow them to bind when it's not all so new to us. Unfortunately the statutory shared parental leave is only 145 odd a week, taking a bit of a knock down from his usual 400 per week salary although we are fortunate enough to have savings to live off in the mean time, we wouldn't be able to do this for a prolonged period otherwise he would take longer and he has said he is reducing his hours in work to spend more time with myself and the baby. If there was an option for full pay on parental leave, I'm sure both him and myself would take it. It also reduces the need to sort out childcare so early on.

Fantastic idea, when I had new born twins and a 2 year old, it would have been a godsend.

I think both parents should be given the equal opportunity to care for their babies/children where possible,

I am a nurse so when I returned to work my partner did everything I did (work 12 hour shifts) so did the same things I did on my days off. Definitely think both parents should have this opportunity if that’s what they decide as a couple/family

I think men/partners (including same sex) should be offered the same leave as the mother. This could be taken at the same time, the following year or overlapping. It would solve a lot of problems- especially childcare with a young child which is extortionate. You could save a year’s worth of money. I think some men are reluctant to take up leave because of the ‘female’ stigma. Also men tend to be rewarded when they have kids. My oh got a bloody pay rise! So their work experience is very different from women. However if you point out financial advantage they might be more agreeable.

I can't think of anything worse. I needed that time alone with my DS to get the confidence to parent effectively.

I think this is fantastic. I only had 6 weeks off after dc2 was born (to recover from c section, otherwise I would have gone back sooner) and dh has been a stay at home dad. It's wonderful to see his bond with the dc and I'm glad he was able to experience it. It would be fantastic if more dads could have more time with their babies

This is a great idea. Even just a month off work for my husband would have been fantastic.

im not sure i like this idea- could lead to alsorts. a woman needs time to recouperate- imagine a horrible partner forcing his lady partner to go back to work so he can take the time off instead.