Mumsnet users tell Dove how they introduce a self-care routine to teenagers

[EllieMumsnet]

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Before puberty hits, body odour isn't really a thing - ah remember the joy of rarely washing hair, not thinking about the comparative benefits of soap and bodywash, and being utterly ignorant of the verb 'to exfoliate'? - but all too soon that comes to an end. Trying to introduce a self-care routine for the first time to your children can be a tricky subject to navigate, which is why Dove would love to know your experiences and tips for how to have the conversation with your teenagers and how you went about picking products for them e.g. deodorant.

Here’s what Dove has to say: “At Dove we know that you want to give the best support to your teenagers as they go through the emotional, physical and hormonal changes of puberty. It can be a sensitive time and your relationship with them goes through changes too. They still need their parents’ care – just a different kind of care to when they were younger, one that spans both practical help and emotional support. We are interested in hearing how you approach conversations about introducing a self-care routine with your teenagers, especially when it comes to deodorants and body odour.”

Did you have conversations with your DC as and when body and hormonal changes were occuring? Perhaps you did a lot of research into trying to find the right products for your child to use? If you found any great products, such as the perfect deodorant, please do share them! What age was your child when you first started to have conversations about self-care with them? How did you bring it up?

However you introduced a self-care routine to your DC and whatever products you bought/used, share them on the thread below and you’ll be entered into a prize draw where one winner will win a £300 voucher of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!
MNHQ

Standard Insight T&Cs Apply

My two are still small byt akready have a love for nice products SO I intend to gift them nice wellies and gradually introduce things as they need them. As they become more independent I'll encourage self care and leading by example will play a big part. I used to love putting my creams on with my Mum as a young teenager. U hope to share this with my Daughter.

Just wondering why the post asks about introducing self care to yeenagers? Surely this is something that's started before they start school and built up? This should be second nature to them.

If they’ve got into the habit of being clean from an early age, then the routines are already there, so you don’t have to get them to start something new.

They’re usually aware about smells and spots, so you just have a chat and buy them some pit wipe and spot potion as and when they need or ask for it.

It shouldn’t be a big issue.

Interesting responses on here. Some posters seem to think this is a non issue. My experience is that some children don’t want to shower every day. So it is important to spend time discussing how they can organise their own self care routine, as they start to get smellier.

It happens in stages; starting to think about washing more frequently, buying deodorants, trying them out, buying different ones, asking them to sniff their once worn clothes to decide if they need a wash.

Some labels say ‘if it’s not dirty, wash it at thirty’

How about ‘if it’s not dirty, don’t wash it!’

I think there is a bit of overkill with regard to cleanliness and washing products which could be researched more to see how biome is affected and affects on wider health.

Explain very carefully the effect of not looking after yourself.

To be honest, it's a struggle. Mine has major soap dodging tendencies but caves in when he gets disgusted with himself. And itches.

I've told them to wash more and control their bodily secretions as they got older. No beating about the bush with leaving deodorants/'interesting' products around hoping they'd take the hint (they wouldn't).

I think at that age they still want things to be nice and fun and can be unaware of how much their body is changing so products that appeal to them, maybe with fruity smells and nice colours can be a winner. My ds is a soap dodger though so it’s tricky, sometimes have to take a blunt approach.

i think it more naturally happens.of course we teach them bathing and washing every day.and have a good oral and washing routine from the very start.they then carry this on.and they love to smell the bright coloured shampoos and then seeing us put cream and moisteriesers and deodorant on.
then as they grow they become more self aware and see what their peers and or siblings do.
clean and clear products were helpful
doves skin creams were gentle moisterisers.
when they are younger they tend to go for dare I say it "tacky""young" smells.mine was always whit musk from body shop and id never touch it now! and seeing what their friends have changes their minds to it too.
being aware for them too.if yo uspot something talk to them.take them shopping for products and let them choose and explain what things do.but be gentle and gradual.dont march them out to the shop becaue they might stink if they don't follow the advice or rules!

I think also to get them into it without making it "a thing" is to just let them lead a bit.when they are younger they want fun bright fruity flavours and colours but this will still be them taking care and washing.so let them have fun with washing ruotines first.and they will be more willing to carry it on instead of washing become a chore.

Don’t assume they’re too young, and don’t make them be the child who has to come to you to ask for deodorant, sanpro, conditioner etc... not all kids find it easy to talk about this stuff, but they WILL be aware that they’re growing and changing and that some of their peers are already using more “grown-up” products.

I disagree with posters who say no one needs to exfoliate. All skins are different and at least one of our three children really needs to scrub his body hard or else his skin quickly gets clogged. A washable synthetic friction mit and a mild liquid soap are best for spot/blackhead prone body skin.

Emphasizing the necessity of daily showering and providing him with a stocked washbag. We do try out lots of different products, Dove deodorant has been great. Just working on persuading him to shave regularly now.

My son is 14 and still has a shower every other night. I think he's lucky and doesn't seem to smell much as he also refuses to wear deodorant because of the chemicals in it! Maybe when girls become more a feature in his life than the Xbox things will change

I do help him with his face which gets cleansed and moisturised every evening. Hopefully will get him into a good skincare routine if nothing else.

I'm hoping mine don't make as much fuss about washing as they get older. It'll be much harder if they don't want to wash when they really do have to! I'm thinking keeping it easy and simple and with lots of positive encouragement - like pp telling them they smell lovely. Deodorants/own brand shampoos and conditioner and soap will do until they express preferences of their own. I'm sure in a few years there will be more products on the shelf for pre-teens/early teens than there are now.

My thirteen year old is already keen on cosmetics. She sees the products I use and obviously know about washing already. I just encourage her to pay special attention to sensitive areas and her underarms for optimal freshness. I love products that provide a lasting freshness.

My dc are not of the age yet but it would be a gradual thing. They already understand that baths and showers are part of their routine and and when older I would make sure they did that everyday. My dd is already quite curious about deodorant, moisturizers etc so I think the discussions would come naturally

I'm a youth worker and we have just covered this with our teenagers. We also explored mindful self care as it's all linked

I brought in a oil mister/diffuser thing and got the youths to experiment different smells and discovering what they like and dislike. We then made some lavender bags and talked about how certain smells and scents evoke memories or feels of calm/ relax etc.

We then talked about thinks we can do at home to slow down and why this was important to us. Showers, baths, daily routines to keep us grounded and feel good about ourselves.

A lot of the youths got really involved and are now taking more time for themselves! A few have my mister on order for Xmas.

Our next stage is to sit together and talk about hair care. They all wash pretty well but don't know how best to style there hair or how to really look after it.

My 17 year old was a stinker for a while at 13 but soon realised smelling and looking nice was important but my now 13 year old is quite lazy so I buy him nice smellies and put the shower on and direct him to the bathroom, daily he’s got nice hair so ensures it’s cut and styled regularly. I think gentle reminding and making sure they have nice shampoo, deodorant (I go to semi Chem/body care etc doesn’t cost too much) is really important

Love all the posters claiming their DC use Dove products

I don't understand people who tolerate soap dodging teens. DD (14) knows that a morning shower, hair washing every other day and dental hygiene are non negotiable or she'll smell and be gross.

We're looking at reducing plastic so are using Body Shop soap and Lush shampoo bar for a start.

With regards skin, what you put inside your body is of more importance than the chemicals we're urged to buy - though getting DD to eat healthily is very much a work in progress!

We don't use Lush either (gits). DS actually likes having a bath. Now washing his hair is the battle but at least he bathes every day.

I don’t tolerate soap dodging kids, no, and the basics are not negotiable, I agree - problem is getting to the level of basics is like getting blood from a stone.

Send them to wash/shower/brush and the instant huff begins. Complaints. Protests. They get sent anyway, of course. They attempt to negotiate their way out of it, I don’t negotiate. Eye rolling and door slamming. Sometimes tears. Then the process itself begins - they won’t let you help, of course, so it takes an age to shower, time we don’t actually have, and they come out not having brushed their teeth, so get sent back in for teeth, and the huffing etc starts again. Then they don’t do a very good job. So you send them in again. And they huff and puff and complain it takes hours to go through this process and use that as ammo the next time they don’t want to do it.

So, no I don’t tolerate smelly kids, and no I don’t negotiate, but it doesn’t make it as easy as that sounds. Everything just takes hours and involves crying and strops.

Face masks, exfoliation, cosmetics are a distant dream. We are still stuck on wash your face, brush your teeth.

I'd be genuinely concerned about a child who was so distressed about showering/teeth cleaning that they cried.

What’s worked for me is to let DC choose their own shower products and deodorant as they’re far more likely to use something that they wanted. My mum bought me a horrid old lady roll on deodorant when I was 11 but I didn’t like using it at all. Spray deodorants were really cold back then (1989) but she wouldn’t let me have one. I eventually bought one with my pocket money and happily used it every day. The freedom of choice encourages good hygiene habits.

I think it is a gradual process. My DC are too young to use many products yet but they know the importance of washing hands / hair, having a bath / shower, brushing teeth etc.
They see me using others things such as deodorant and will ask what they are so I tell them.
I think it's about being open & honest, managing expectations, and giving advice.