Mumsnet users tell Dove how they introduce a self-care routine to teenagers

[EllieMumsnet]

NOW CLOSED

Before puberty hits, body odour isn't really a thing - ah remember the joy of rarely washing hair, not thinking about the comparative benefits of soap and bodywash, and being utterly ignorant of the verb 'to exfoliate'? - but all too soon that comes to an end. Trying to introduce a self-care routine for the first time to your children can be a tricky subject to navigate, which is why Dove would love to know your experiences and tips for how to have the conversation with your teenagers and how you went about picking products for them e.g. deodorant.

Here’s what Dove has to say: “At Dove we know that you want to give the best support to your teenagers as they go through the emotional, physical and hormonal changes of puberty. It can be a sensitive time and your relationship with them goes through changes too. They still need their parents’ care – just a different kind of care to when they were younger, one that spans both practical help and emotional support. We are interested in hearing how you approach conversations about introducing a self-care routine with your teenagers, especially when it comes to deodorants and body odour.”

Did you have conversations with your DC as and when body and hormonal changes were occuring? Perhaps you did a lot of research into trying to find the right products for your child to use? If you found any great products, such as the perfect deodorant, please do share them! What age was your child when you first started to have conversations about self-care with them? How did you bring it up?

However you introduced a self-care routine to your DC and whatever products you bought/used, share them on the thread below and you’ll be entered into a prize draw where one winner will win a £300 voucher of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!
MNHQ

Standard Insight T&Cs Apply

Definitely needs to start before the teens! I remember at my primary school, year 5, the teacher giving us a talk as a class about the need for deodorant (it was as hot, sweaty summer term). My main concern is getting stuff that's gentle for their skin, and introducing it as needed.

My ds11 has started to smell of B.O when his armpits get sweaty. Luckily we have always discussed hormonal changes and their effects, so he does a sniff test every day - I would prefer it if he would wash irrespective of whether he smells or not, but at least he is aware of it!

I am always buying new products for my teens. I buy them as they reach different stages - I have a cupboard of creams for this and lotions for that!! I need to stop buying them really. I am relived that the deodorant cans are empty - couldn't bare it if they ignored personal hygiene!!

Just some tips about personal hygiene!

It's been a gradual process, I started by strategically placing a roll-on deodorant on top of my sons pile of school clothes. He took the bait and uses it everyday.

He has just turned 11, and needs to be told when to have a shower/bath still. he's just far to busy to think of it himself!

We're on our youngest of 3, but we've always taken the gradual approach. It really started around the last year of primary, especially if they'd had PE. As well as the sensitive approach we would slightly joke about it, with things like, you can tell you're growing up now, you'll have to start wearing deodorant like me & dad, or, really think you need a shower before they start calling you the smelly kid at school, but always follow it with a little chuckle & say come on, let's get you in that shower, but then compliment them on how nice they smell when they're done. If they've wanted to we've let them choose their own products, sometimes because they like the appearance of it, the smell of it or just because their friends are using it.

I think gradual introduction of the products is the way to do it and then build them into the daily routine

The moment they start to smell, tell them. Be honest and upfront as any beating around the bush allows for them to not realise you actually mean it. Then we look for deodorant they like the feel and smell of, I have sensory kids so some hate the cold of a spray whereas others hate the damp of a roll on. They all, except asd ds, decided when they were ready to be self sufficient with their self care, when to bathe alone. Gentle reminders and checking for tide marks then ensues.

My DD started puberty at 11 and was keen to start using deodorant so we went shopping and she picked the brand she wanted herself which so happened to be Dove. She still uses the same brand now.

Unfortunately my 3rd child seemed to smell of BO much earlier and more than the siblings. But had an honest chat and explained that a deoderant was a great thing at any age to stop smells! Always encouraged baths/showers.

Self care has always been driven by my children who let me know when they want to take on something themselves. I've never had to introduce the idea as they take on the roles themselves as they love to emulate their parents.

I've introduced self care before the teenage years, as I started my periods when I was still in primary school and I could have done with more information back then. I like to introduce body spray first, as they don't block the pores but helps to introduce the idea of smelling nice. With the boys I have ended up using stronger anti perspirants when they are teenagers as they really need it by that age, and I've gone for brands like Mitchum because they'll try to get away without showering daily, and they are strong enough to make up for that.

I didn't need to do anything for ds1. He was into washing, showering, smelling nice, hair styling.

Only thing I advised was a face wash when he started to get spots.

Think I'll have my work cut out with ds2 though. He loves a bath, but other than that seems a bit oblivious and needs prompting!

Why wouod you want to have a conversation??

I’m not going to teach my dcs to use products that have no effect at all or to exfoliate etc...

Having a shower yes. Going over the top with products, skin care etc... no.

Buying soap they want to use yes (yes i appreciate that as boys, they might not want the stuff I like. Even though....).
For the rest, eating well and sleeping enough will make more wonders to the skin that any other products.
Having a shower daily will avoid body odour.
No need to make it so complicated.

Gradually introduction as they are growing up, through positive example .

Show them my and dh’s routine as they grow up. Littl3 by little add an element into their routine also

I think it is about self-esteem - letting them know how lovely they look and smell....encouraging them to choose the scents they like when we are out shopping and to have pride in their appearance and awareness of their look. We also believe in leading by example! When a young person has a sense of worth and pride in their appearance they like to look and smell good. We do have chats about hygiene and body changes too of course.

encourage them to factor in time to do things they enjoy and keep a diary of positive things to boost self-esteem

Lead by example - explain the importance and highlight the potential downsides of not complying, both medically and socially.

Non of my children are teenagers yet but I will be teaching them

make it part of routine

My princess is 14 now and we have told her the ways in life to look after your body and she has taken some on board which is all you can do and them let them find there own feet.

Fortunately not at that point yet, I'm guessing a fire hose might be a forceful hint... :) Obviously joking.

We started before my daughter needed it with natural products that are suitable for children. It meant that if she forgot it wasn't vital and then when she needed real deodorant we let her pick one with a smell she liked. She has always washed her face before bed etc and has been in a routine of showering every other day since she was little so it was just habit for her. I buy the shower gels and shampoos she likes and things like lush bath bombs to make it more fun for her. Xx

I think this is a process that happens from quite a young age. Teaching about personal hygiene, encouraging to be clean and then eventually discussing puberty. I used to have to nag my son to shower and brush his teeth regularly but now I allow him to choose his own products and this seems to have motivated him