Share the secret lives you’ve imagined for your neighbours with Sky Cinema - £300 voucher to be won NOW CLOSED

[JustineBMumsnet]

Though you live closely to each other, it’s possible that you know very little about your neighbours other than how terrible their parking is. But, that doesn’t stop you imagining what might be going on inside their walls. Inspired by their premiering of Keeping Up With the Joneses, starring Isla Fisher, John Hamm and Gal Gadot Sky Cinema would like to hear about the funny rumours you’ve heard about or the secret lives you’ve imagined for your neighbours (past or present).

Here’s what Sky Cinema has to say: “Sky Cinema makes it easy to find something you want to watch by showing a New movie Premiere every single day of the year. This summer there is a fantastic range of movies perfect for movie date night in from Keeping Up with the Joneses, to Allied to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them.

So, whether you’re convinced that the woman at the end of the road is MI5, you have some inventive theories about why the neighbours leave the house so early on a Sunday, or you’re a curtain twitcher who treats the neighbour’s lives like entertainment, share your stories below to be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 John Lewis voucher.

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

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Mine are all very normal I think, which makes me worry that I must be the one that they all think is a loony !.

H

I haven't any imagined lives for my neighbours as I barely ever see them.

Our neighbour plays the ukulele. He practices Duelling Banjos. A lot.

Well I live in a block we have;
The really friendly chatting guy who is "in sales" but who I imagine is really a spy, he can get ANY information out of you, before you even realise or knew that you knew?

Then there is the recluse who I think is really a ad scientist creating a time machine as he's obsessed with the 50's (the spy told me - he knows everything about everyone).

Then there are the "italians" who have all the cats... and one dog. I think the dog thinks she's a cat.

Does imagining the lives of the neighbourhood cats count? I always imagine them meeting up after dark, planning to take over the world...

Next door to us at one stage in France, lived a middle aged woman who wore far too much very garish make-up and had a voice like a fishwife. There was always a stream of men going into her block (if not her actual flat), so we called her the-whore-next-door. One dad she was diabolically rude to one of my dad's, so, as it was 'Sale Time' we stuck a note on her front door offering 40% off blow-jobs and half price sex.

Well whatever ours get up to it is very much behind closed and they all seem perfectly nice and normal. Maybe it is because I don't have time to check out incomings/outgoings on the street- perhaps there's a lot going on that I'm blissfully unaware of.
The only point of interest is the woman over the road who lets her son run wild all day (age about 7 or 8), rarely bothers taking him to school and was once overheard hollering "If you don't start doing as you're told I'll make you go to school tomorrow!"
Hm.

We think our next door neighbour secretly tranforms into a rat. We call her and her husband Ratman and Bobbin, and we are certain we can hear them running round the skirting boards at night, listening to us, chewing holes through our pictures to keep an eye on us. Possibly.

Round the corner is Staunch Catholic Barbara, who disapproves of everything and everyone. We share a communal drive, and she comes round weekly to inspect the weeding between the cobbles, and ticks us off if we haven't kept it up - even though it's the joint responsibility of about 6 households. She also has fake grass and hoovers it 3 times a week!

Our other neighbours have a dog who runs the International Wolf Bureau, which is a secret agency of spy canine operatives. Their head office is the shed in the garden, which has some mysterious unexplained ariels. I can't say any more or I might disappear in the middle of the night...

I used to live in a very 'eclectic' street in Cardiff which was a mix of students, migrant families from all over the world, people in half way houses after leaving prison and various mental health/ drug & alcohol rehab houses. Everyone was lovely and we never had any issues, but there was certainly some characters - The man 3 doors down who used to play the bagpipes at all hours; the man who was always stood in his doorway shouting , but we could never work out who he was shouting at; and our landlord who lived a few doors up and always wore a thick coat and woolly hat, even in the summer - but he was originally from Bangladesh, so it's almost understandable!

Well considering my neighbours have discussed between themselves that i am quite possibly an alcoholic due to the clanging of bottles in my recycling bin throughout the weekend and i have obviously set them straight I actually thought that my neighbours were some kind of police informants. When talking to them in the street they ask so many questions and i often wonder what they do with this information , I also think that they are some kind of secret lottery winners as they aren't afraid to splash the cash to the extreme

Our next door neighbour is regularly hammering in what sounds like the kitchen. We've been here 2.5 years and it's still a pretty regular occurrence. I originally thought he'd put in a kitchen and done it wrong so had to redo it. But it's still going on. I've not come up with a new explanation since it does sound so much like someone assembling a kitchen, so in my mind he now has a set of different kitchens for different occasions... Much like getting the good china out when you have friends over; obviously sometimes he has guests to impress and wants to get the "good" kitchen out.

There's a super secretive man across the road from us who drives a sleek black car and always wears a nice suit. He probably just works in the city...but we like to imagine he's a Bond-style secret agent!!

My neighbour is a bit rough and ready.... I like to think he's secretly soft underneath

My neighbour has such an odd walk, I'm certain he is part robot.

our neighbours are a husband and wife and the lodger. the wife is always with the lodger and hardly with the husband. dare I say but could it be a case of ménage a trois? by the way they are all over 70 so just the thought of it makes me feel queasy

We have new neighbours just opposite (house and barn) and they are putting up high fences at the front of the house. We are all very curious. My husband thinks they are just making their house safe. Kids and I go for crazy experiments in the barn.

The neighbours across the road have the nickname 'perfect family' as they seem too perfect which makes me suspicious.
They go to church, their kids never misbehave and I feel guilty pulling up outside my house with McDonald's in my hand for tea as I know the perfect family would never eat at McDonald's

There is a house on a hill nearby that reminds me of the Bates house from Psycho. However, I'm sure the people there are lovely and would never harm a fly.

One of my neighbours is a raving alcoholic - so goodness knows what they do - the mind boggles

Another is a misery old guts who I have nicknamed P.A.M because all he does is p*ss and moan.

The others are actually quite charming - so by the lwas of average are probably serial killers

Would love to know what people think of me though....

I know all my neighbours, and they are mostly as dull as me, aside from the amazing 100 year old lady next door but one who is still sprightly and active. Kind of picture her as supergran 😁

We've had a few neighbours but none that we either didn't know quite well, or seemed interesting / unusual! However I do remember when we were growing up, there was an older couple (probably onyl 40s or 50s!) who we called Gin and Jags as they only ever had jaguar cars parked outside and the wife usually had an alcoholic drink in her hand! They were like something out of an 80s tv show (mind you, this was in the 80s!)

To be honest I sometimes wonder if some of my beloved neighbours are actually members of the illuminati, aliens, or perhaps just an everyday, ordinary Devil cult ;) I'm sure I could find evidence to back up this theory, but if I did I probably wouldn't be around to claim my winnings from this competition, so shhhhhhhhh.......

under cover spies

I have recently moved into our house and the neighbours on one side don't seem to be very pleasant.
His car seems to leave late at night and return in the early hours. He probably works nights but I imagine him to be going off and seeing his mistress while his wife sleeps.
I imagine his wife to be a gypsy fortune teller as she just has that look about her lol