Share the secret lives you’ve imagined for your neighbours with Sky Cinema - £300 voucher to be won NOW CLOSED

[JustineBMumsnet]

Though you live closely to each other, it’s possible that you know very little about your neighbours other than how terrible their parking is. But, that doesn’t stop you imagining what might be going on inside their walls. Inspired by their premiering of Keeping Up With the Joneses, starring Isla Fisher, John Hamm and Gal Gadot Sky Cinema would like to hear about the funny rumours you’ve heard about or the secret lives you’ve imagined for your neighbours (past or present).

Here’s what Sky Cinema has to say: “Sky Cinema makes it easy to find something you want to watch by showing a New movie Premiere every single day of the year. This summer there is a fantastic range of movies perfect for movie date night in from Keeping Up with the Joneses, to Allied to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them.

So, whether you’re convinced that the woman at the end of the road is MI5, you have some inventive theories about why the neighbours leave the house so early on a Sunday, or you’re a curtain twitcher who treats the neighbour’s lives like entertainment, share your stories below to be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 John Lewis voucher.

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

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We have an elderly lady neighbour who feeds every cat in the neighbourhood enticing them into her home.. sure she is the alien cat whisperer who is really running some secret organisation run by felines.... the other side we have zombie fans who go out at night and come back in the early morning... think I really need to move haha.

we are sure the woman 3 doors down is a witch!! she goes round the crescent collecting things for her potions and has a black cat!

ive lived on our street on and off all my life so i actually know most of the residents except a few of the new arrivals. We have a couple across the road who have a few children who we name 'the odd couple' they really are quite strange . we imagine they have come into some money as both of them work little hours now and have had a lot of work done to their house. Further up the street lives 'the model' who is popular with the male members of the street.
We have 2 families who live opposite each other who constantly row! they are known as 'the ferals' , we have a lovely elderly couple who have lived here over 30 yrs , they are quite nosey and dont miss a trick, which is quite handy if you need to know anything. Then theirs my parents who live a few doors away ...........less said about them , the better ;)

My NDN is constantly in his garage making so much noise with tools I'm convinced he must be crafting a rocket or something in there.

I always think the woman who lives opposite me is a mob boss. She sits outside her house all day and loads of random people come along and sit with her then go again.. It's madness.

We've got a man opposite who moved in years ago, & someone said his wife was going to be following once the old house was sold (he has a London accent & we're in Yorkshire) the wife never materialised, and so he was christened 'Mr Lonely'

We decided he had a girlfriend at one point, because he started disappearing for the odd night. That stopped, but he goes away every winter for a few weeks, leaving his car at home, so we think perhaps his girlfriend married someone else, but her husband goes on a ski holiday every winter, and they have a torrid affair while he's away!

I have a lovely couple one side who are very quiet and keep to themselves, but I like to imagine they are a bit wild behind closed doors and are international spies, sent to spy on whether I put my tins in the bin or my recycling bin!! On the other side I have a very nosy neighbour who has a lizard, he is single and gets through women like I do hot dinners, I reckon he's a bit of a sleaze who has an alter-ego who he makes out leads a much more exciting life than he actually does.

One particular young couple moved next to us a good year ago and the lady never goes out the house alone. I imagine she's under police protection for grassing up some hard core drug dealers.

that is a weird question and thought. everyone knows everyone in our village.

My neighbours comprise of Mr DIY who in reality just bodgers everything, he says he was a painter and decorator for 16 years so why is his wallpaper mismatched and the coveing is all upside down. His wife is Mrs Keeping up with the Jones,`s. ....if anyone on our street has a new " anything" she has to have one too only hers is always better or cost more..They are always telling us how much they mean to each other BUT I think they must live on another planet as we hear them having major rows every other week.His clothes are thrown from the bedroom window at least every couple of months.I don't need to invent strange neighbours I really do have them !!

I am sure our neighbour is the same kind of work as Jason Bourne!

Know most people on our road but when I was little the house on the corner was a lovely stone built house which looked like part of a castle, the part that you could see from the pavement. It was surrounded by trees. Needless to say I grew up imagining that a princess lived there. Never did see anyone coming or going in all the years we lived there. I was amazed when many years later it was put up for sale but that was before you could check property out on the internet.

Our ndn moved in a couple of years ago, i was shocked to find i went to school with the husband (many moons ago) we used to hang out in the same group.. he was very much the joker and very flamboyant and outgoing.... fast forward to him moving in with his very stern looking wife (seriously they are chalk n cheese in personallity, he walks in a room an cracks a joke she walks in and a cloud of doom apears) ..within weeks a 6ft fence was errected and the 2 side windows that overlooked our property were frosted over. (Very strange) and they keep the blinds drawn. she never speaks to us and he is never seen without her. They work through the day and have ALOT of parcels delivered that we take in..all in very discreet packaging...so discreet its suspicious, he always comes to xollect them and aaalways looks embarrassed... so obviously she must be "mrs grey" all the parcels are extra freaky sex toys and he is her "Anna".

We know one set of our neighbours quite well - And know they are a gardener, and checkout supervisor .. However the other side are quite a newish family - They don't like noise and don't like it when we mow our grass.. (Or when our children play outside, or when our dog barks)
I think they might work in a family library

My neighbours are fab!!

We've got an older man living across the road who sits in the front bedroom window where he "writes", he's also a bit of a busy-body so I assumed he wasn't writing, but using it as an excuse to spy on neighbourhood indiscretions- when discussing this with DH I said argued that he's the type that we'd hear if he had anything published. Nowt so far, but he's quick to be out the door complaining if a visiting tradesmans van isn't perfectly parked...

Hahaha, I thought it was just me- I've done this for years.

I moved last month, into a very close terraced street, which means I don't have to imagine as much as I can hear too much of my neighbour's lives... for instance, to my right, there are school-age siblings who do not get along and shriek at each other, interspersed with the yells of one or other frazzled parent.
To my left is Karaoke King....

I'm intrigued by the family opposite, who I have yet to see fully clothed but who pop out at regular intervals to smoke on their doorstep in their pyjamas.... I've decided they may be drug dealers as they have frequent visits from a variety of folk, who never seem to stay long....

Where I used to live there was a very strange gentleman who hardly spoke and, if he was in his front kitchen when we were passing would literally flee the room and hide til we were passed (leaving his fridge/freezer wide open in the process on occasion). He used to appear almost nocturnal and would leave early evenings with a long thin package which my partner reckons was an innocent snooker cue but I imagined was a range of bizarre weapons and that he stalked the streets in search of victims. The only sound I ever heard coming from his house was bizarre, dramatic move soundtrack-type music on repeat some nights.. it was pretty creepy, which added weight to my other theory...

I could go on- I don't think I've ever realised how thoroughly I've invented backstories for these strangers before!

This is something me and my partner talk about a lot!

My neighbour to my left is a bit odd. He laughs when he sees us and seems to have a problem with us. Ive tried questioning him but i think hes just totally strange. He has foil up at every window so you cant see in and he cant see out. I think he pretends to be a space man and has covered his whole inner house with tin foil. We think hes even got a space suit and has made a hat using a colinder so he can contact aliens!

Across the road we have the night owls. They sleep all day and then are up all night. They are really posh japaniese people. We think that they are up on computers whilst everyone is sleeping buying and selling in the stock exchange! They have a party every now and again which we think is when they have made a lot of money as all posh cars appear. (knowing us they will just work for a call centre type thing from home!)

I once heard a very loud bang on a Saturday night from a house opposite. The next week there was a yellow murder sign, information wanted.

Luckily I don't live there any more.

My neighbour is always digging and building he must have something or someone.. to hide

I'm sure my neighbours are spies!

There's a huge arial in their back garden which is surrounded by trees, They are so secretive, even going as far as wearing hoods up on hot summer days. Plus they love their vodka!

Old neighbours of mine (and still my parents neighbours) we're constantly doing work on their house. However, his skills included putting a pick axe through the gas main (and then having a fag whilst contemplating what to do next whilst we were on the phone to the gas board!) And moving multiple building items complete with the diy noises, but no progress really made. Currently the house is clad in scaffolding (and has been for at least a year). Couple of his lady friends have also disappeared over the last few years, current thinking is that he's a mass murderer with a taste for DIY projects and the scaffolding is currently holding the house together!

Our current neighbours are lovely, he rides a motorbike and comes in through the back garden. When my eldest was little, she ran into the house screaming that the aliens were coming and there was one in the garden....it was our neighbour in a full set of silver leathers complete with helmet!!

Our neighbours three doors down have an outdoor wood fired hot tub which they use A LOT (you can smell the wood burning for a few hours before you hear the bubbles come on).

Often you'll hear lots of giggling from random visitors also in the hot tub, but it always sounds like a lot of women and just the husband- we imagine him to be a bit of a lothario.

The giggling only ever lasts for about 30-40 minutes before everyone disappears into the house- you can imagine what we think is going on!

The thing that really gets me though is how wasteful the hot tub is! Several hours of burning wood to heat the water for a 30 minute foreplay session of booze and bubbles!

I thought that were yoghurt knitters, but actually they are relatively normal - they shop at Waitrose