Share the secret lives you’ve imagined for your neighbours with Sky Cinema - £300 voucher to be won NOW CLOSED

[JustineBMumsnet]

Though you live closely to each other, it’s possible that you know very little about your neighbours other than how terrible their parking is. But, that doesn’t stop you imagining what might be going on inside their walls. Inspired by their premiering of Keeping Up With the Joneses, starring Isla Fisher, John Hamm and Gal Gadot Sky Cinema would like to hear about the funny rumours you’ve heard about or the secret lives you’ve imagined for your neighbours (past or present).

Here’s what Sky Cinema has to say: “Sky Cinema makes it easy to find something you want to watch by showing a New movie Premiere every single day of the year. This summer there is a fantastic range of movies perfect for movie date night in from Keeping Up with the Joneses, to Allied to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them.

So, whether you’re convinced that the woman at the end of the road is MI5, you have some inventive theories about why the neighbours leave the house so early on a Sunday, or you’re a curtain twitcher who treats the neighbour’s lives like entertainment, share your stories below to be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 John Lewis voucher.

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

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when I was growing up, we were convinced Hitler lived on our street.

I don't need an imaginary secret life for my neighbour he turned out be a gun owning dug dealer

My next door neighbours are an older couple who never complain about anything ever.
The man never speaks to me (yet will speak to the kids dad, he thinks he likes heavy metal. He doesn't. I do )
The woman speaks to me in the street and I received a Christmas card off them.

They seem nice on the surface, but never make noise. Ever. And it's not just good walls. They're paper thin.
I'm sure they're either aliens, landed on earth in a time when it was acceptable to ignore the woman in favour of the husband, and they haven't kept up with societal changes, or they are very quiet so as not to draw attention to the fact they are murdering innocent people in their attic.

Growing up we had a neighbour we all referred to as "the Retired Pirate" because there was often a parrot perched on a tree in his garden. I think we referred to him as that so often that it was hard to remember he wasn't. I saw him once in a shop
In a nearby city and was astonished to find him purchasing non-piratical goods . I think I managed to hide my astonishment

These days it's whats in the recycling boxes that makes you wonder! Judging by the amount of empty wine bottles each week and the mowed front lawn complete with gradient lines, Vintage convertable and mustard yellow pullovers I think we have a couple of posh OAP, possibly quiet millionaires, who like a tipple or three.

Definitely in the witness protection programme. Can't get too close or reveal any details!

Collectors of junk, so perhaps hoarders
Or maybe just maybe antique dealers

I am desperate to find out what my neighbour does for a living.
Does not work 9 to 5, car ( brand new) is sometimes away overnight but here most days all day.
She is a single parent(DS 17) no partner,has a cleaner, window cleaner, gardener.
Has had new fence installed, new windows, new conservatory, new driveway, new car since I moved in 2 months ago.
I have wracked my brain as to her occupation and can only come up with high class escort

Some of these are hilarious! :)
We live on a big estate, so have great fun imagining what's going on behind closed doors..

One of our favourites is Alan - who spends all his time in the local allotment growing oversized vegetables. We imagine he has a nagging wife & prefers to spend every weekend, evening & spare minute away from her, content in the leafy embrace of his allotment sanctuary.

We also ponder on the secret life of our next-door neighbour Maureen - who we think hates us as she had a quiet life before we moved in with our newborn who suffered raging colic for about 6 months! Despite our best efforts, she refuses to engage with us when we say a friendly hello, or when we re-post the mail which has been mistakenly delivered to us by the postman. This mail often includes large catalogues of statement costume jewellery - so we imagine she likes to dress up in her finery, with large Titanic-like necklaces & play the organ - wishing she could turn back the clock to when life was good, before we moved in! We do really like Maureen - she just doesn't like us!!
:) x

I have a neighbour that is constantly building things in the back garden not sure what for though he is a bit strange he spends all day outside putting up sheds and outbuildings in his garden not any space left out there am convinced he sleeps outside aswell he rarely goes inside his house and, he cooks off a portable BBQ aswell

Since having children, I am at home rather than at work, and love being a 'people watcher' on my street. There is a very well dressed gentleman who lives on the street opposite, he is around 70, and has been retired for several years. However he always leaves the house at 9.30, dressed in suit, shirt, and tie looking very dapper. I have imagined that he is the ambassador for England and visits an embassy of a foreign country (possibly Russia) and advises them on British etiquette, as again, in my opinion he was a former butler to the royal family. He returns home around 3pm after his days 'work'. I really like this gentleman, the way he keeps himself so smart, and he is so polite...perhaps I am correct in my theory - who knows ?

We've been in our house for just over a year so don't really know many of the neighbours. We're convinced the people over the road have had their daughter plus young kids move in with them and we have some theories why but they are just wildly thought up!

I work from home and I often see my neighbours - a young couple like us - popping in and out throughout the day, so I know they don't work typical 9 - 5 jobs either. I imagine the guy is a gym instructor and the girl is a yoga teacher (I see them in gym gear a LOT!).

I'm sure my sister's neighbour is totally up to no good at all times :-)

After moving in next door, our new neighbours rarely left the house, or opened the door to delivery drivers. The mind ran wild with possible reasons. I think they now realise we are a friendly neighbourhood, as they no longer hibernate indoors.

I used to live next door to a couple I was convinced were either a) a couple hiding out in a safe house paid for by the security services, or b) a couple hiding out FROM the security services. In the 4 years I lived there, I think I saw them about 3 times, their curtains were always drawn and the windows never opened and I never once smelt anything cooking or heard any noise. Perfect neighbours really .

We think ours are late night vampire tap dancers. The banging never stops

My elderly neighbours once told me they were in a 'stained glass' club. I imagined them visiting churches, cathedrals and stately homes with a group of like minded people. Turns out it's a wine drinking club with their friends!!

Our neighbour is forever in his garden from first thing in the morning to last thing at night come rain or shine pottering around doing all manner of jobs, we think he actually gets locked out by his wife and isnt allowed back in again until bedtime so she can watch tv in peace all day as he has hinted before how much she loves watching the shopping channels

We live in Bristol and got new neighbours roughly the same time as a spate of new Banksy's appeared. I was determined to steal some post to see if Mr Banks had moved in (I didn't and it transpired he hadn't)...

My next door neighbour is a massive hoarder I'm convinced she'll turn out to be a Howard Hughes style millionaire.

Our neighbours are obviously drug dealers and have a secret family member locked away somewhere. They have "visitors" throughout the day and at least one member of the family sleeping over each night. The building is never left empty so if the husband and wife both go out together one of their children or grandchildren are there to house sit.

A long time ago I shared a house next to a typical 5-person student house. Some years they were quiet and polite, some years not so much. One of the latter drove me to near violence with their partying, but even on a regular night, from the noises coming through the walls and floors I surmised they drove a small herd of goats up the jennel, built a new bookcase in 10 minutes flat, murdered a couple of women then ran a 10K up and down the stairs in wooden clogs.

And then a few years later there were the over the street neighbours who must have been major league fences for house-clearing burglaries because there's no way they could fit all the stuff that arrived in vans in their tiny mid-terrace.

the 70 year old spy next door!

Ours are alcoholics based on the amount of bottles in their recycling each fortnight - or they have lots of very quiet parties, to which we are never invited!