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Share the secret lives you’ve imagined for your neighbours with Sky Cinema - £300 voucher to be won NOW CLOSED

260 replies

JustineBMumsnet · 21/08/2017 10:56

Though you live closely to each other, it’s possible that you know very little about your neighbours other than how terrible their parking is. But, that doesn’t stop you imagining what might be going on inside their walls. Inspired by their premiering of Keeping Up With the Joneses, starring Isla Fisher, John Hamm and Gal Gadot Sky Cinema would like to hear about the funny rumours you’ve heard about or the secret lives you’ve imagined for your neighbours (past or present).

Here’s what Sky Cinema has to say: “Sky Cinema makes it easy to find something you want to watch by showing a New movie Premiere every single day of the year. This summer there is a fantastic range of movies perfect for movie date night in from Keeping Up with the Joneses, to Allied to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them.

So, whether you’re convinced that the woman at the end of the road is MI5, you have some inventive theories about why the neighbours leave the house so early on a Sunday, or you’re a curtain twitcher who treats the neighbour’s lives like entertainment, share your stories below to be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 John Lewis voucher.

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

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Share the secret lives you’ve imagined for your neighbours with Sky Cinema - £300 voucher to be won NOW CLOSED
OP posts:
Pastychef · 28/08/2017 07:31

We're always taking in parcels for our neighbour, sometimes 3 different couriers a day! They're all shapes and sizes and we have no idea what's in them but estimating the volume of matter delivered over the years leads us to believe that their ground floor must be completely full, floor to ceiling by now.

123hartley123 · 28/08/2017 07:39

They are the most nosiest neighbours I can believe they have infra red binoculars at night peering into other people houses

glenka · 28/08/2017 07:45

You never see or hear ours in the daytime, all the curtains are shut but there is always something going on at night and lots of visitors, we can never seem to work out what's going on, we thought perhaps they were allergic to the daylight.

AR2012 · 28/08/2017 07:59

Our neighbours are retirees and one set are the grandparents to the spouse of a famous cyclist. Genuinely lovely people our neighbours.

maryandbuzz1 · 28/08/2017 08:02

The couple who have rented the house next to ours are intriguing. They moved in about 3 months ago and I have only caught glimpses of them. They don't leave the house during the day venturing out at around 10.30 and I hear the gate unlatching at 1am when they return.
I believe they are werewolves and have heard some snuffling from behind the fence although no howling ......but what was that in the distance?

ThemisA · 28/08/2017 08:22

No strange neighbours although my next door had a dog boarding business and was allowed 6 dogs including her own but regularly took 13. I heard the poor dogs howling and barking for hours when she went out and left them and she refused to accept it was a problem for us or cruel to the dogs. I am sure that the owners (if they are anything like me) would be mortified if they knew their dogs were closed in a small hallway and left for hours. She hardly ever walks them. They also like a loud party, sit outside into the wee hours playing loud music and treating me to prolonged karaoke sessions - I don't really need to make up anything! They are so good at being charming to clients when they bring their dogs and everyone thinks they are marvelous. I don't need to make up anything!

lizd31 · 28/08/2017 08:33

Most of my neighbours are really lovely now but before next door was sold it was rented out when my old neighbour moved to New Zealand & the neighbours were the neighbours from hell. They had dozens of cars pulling up each day just for a few minutes so I was convinced they were drug dealers. One day my stone bench in my front garden went missing & I never knew who took it & then it mysteriously appeared again smashed into pieces on Christmas Day so I'm sure it was them as they were really weird. They used to have parties every night but not inside the house, under the car port which was right next to my bedroom & they had a set of drums which they played. Their son didn't sleep in the house but in a sleeping bag under the car port. It's a lovely area & they just weren't the sort of people you'd expect to live there but thankfully we got them evicted after the whole street complained about them.

happysouls · 28/08/2017 08:43

We have a neighbour who is totally rebuilding a block of flats pretty much single handedly. I've never seen anyone work so hard! We refer to him as "Vinnie" for Vinnie Jones the hard man of football. Occasionally when he has a mate help out he is "Schmeichel" as he has the blond Scandanavian look of Peter Schmeichel, Man Utds ex goalie. Schmeichel the builder likes singing Elvis when he is happy!
The guy across the road is Flanders off the Simpsons!

vonniebab2 · 28/08/2017 08:46

A couple in our street never have visitors or go out, the blinds are always shut they clean the car and the windows a couple of times a week very strange

janeyf1 · 28/08/2017 08:52

I never see my neighbour because he leaves very early in the mornings and comes back late. I imagine he is commuting a long way each day to do something specialist and exciting

Ferryfairy · 28/08/2017 09:14

There's a woman up the road who is actually a ghost, she appears in my ndn's house when the doors are shut, and my husband has turned round after putting his seatbelt on and found her in the passenger seat, demanding to be dropped off in town.

beckyinman · 28/08/2017 09:23

My neighbours actually had a cannabis farm growing! The police raided it one morning

juju3 · 28/08/2017 09:28

Our new neighbour is very sweet and charming - she seems to get to know everyone very quickly - I can imagine her as our village "Miss Marples"

Gauisacat · 28/08/2017 10:03

Our neighbours have an ongoing feud with each other. It's so ridiculous I can imagine them both sitting alone in their darkened flats cackling and rubbing their hands together with glee at their latest mildly dickish plot to slightly inconvenience each other 😂

wineandcheeseplease · 28/08/2017 10:12

One of my neighbors howled at night a few times. Clearly he is a werewolf. We now call him wolfman.

giddyypixie · 28/08/2017 10:35

Our old next door neighbour was somewhat "kooky". I can say that now that we have moved away and have (relatively) normal neighbours. She never once stepped foot in her garden (that I saw) so as the years passed, the garden pretty much took over. Slowly, the sheds disappeared and the outside patio became over run with weeds until it pretty much looked like a scene from Jumanji. She said she "loved" plants, I say she was lazy. The only thing she was hiding was her derelict excuse for a house.

mo3733 · 28/08/2017 10:42

I have a new neighbour who comes and goes through the night and is rarely seen during the day. they probably just have a night job but i imagine them as cat burglers lol

barbsbarbs · 28/08/2017 11:03

my elderly neighbours are actually secret spies. They go out at night rather than in the day. When they get into their car, its actually a supersonic rocket, their skoda is a cover. Their walking sticks are actually secret telescopes for them to film anything intoward and their glasses have x ray vision. They are called Edna and Bert, but their real names are Star and vision.

Ganne1 · 28/08/2017 11:03

I doubt he has any hobbies, other than banging and making noises and smoke when doing DIY and, especially, major projects in the scrap-bestrewn garden.

blimby · 28/08/2017 11:05

My daughter always thought witches lived next door and was scared to go round!

footdust · 28/08/2017 11:17

Very mysterious neighbours - they take keeping themselves to themselves to a whole new other level. I reckon they are hiding from the Mafia and are in the Witness Protection Programme

shewhomustbeEbayed · 28/08/2017 11:20

Where my friend lives, in an artificial add on "village" ( read upmarket housing development ) to a larger town. Where the houses are all mixed styles ; thatched, belltower, mock tudor, all with white picket fences.
I'm sure all the wives have been replaced by robots as per Stepford Wives.

nettymay · 28/08/2017 11:44

I think my neighbour has lived before - she always has a good answer!

keshimonster · 28/08/2017 11:46

We have nicknamed our super friendly and nice neighbour "chainsaw"...we occasionally hear what sounds like a chainsaw coming from his house...and then we speculate who he has disposed of.

lynsmagoo · 28/08/2017 11:52

We have just moved into our new house and our neighbours behind us are super nosey. I swear they are from MI5 for they don't miss a thing. A higher fence will sort it out though but they won't be happy when we put it up in next few weeks!