Tell Nationwide about your DC’s moments of independence for a chance to win a £300 voucher. NOW CLOSED

[RebeccaEMumsnet]

As DCs edge closer to their teenage years, it can be an uncertain time for parents who have to decide how much independence to give to their teens and when to give them that little bit more responsibility.

In the below ad, spoken word artist Isadora speaks of the freedom she felt when she first received her own house key. For many tweens and teens, being given their own house key signifies a new level of independence. To celebrate their FlexOne current account for 11-17 year olds, Nationwide would love to know what moments made you realise that your own DCs were growing up.

                                <iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/lCXuT5OovVY" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

At what age did you make your DCs responsible for their own house key? How did you feel the first time you trusted them to walk to the post box or the local shop on their own? When did you feel confident enough to leave them on their own in the house for a period of time?

If your DCs are still small, what moments of independence do you remember from your own childhood and teenage years?

Everyone who posts on this thread will be entered into a prize draw, and one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

Thanks,

MNHQ

Standard Insight T&Cs Apply

A few weeks after dd started school she turned to me at the school gates and "It's ok, Mum, I can go the rest of the way on my own". I didn't cry on her first day but I was inconsolable when she said she could manage on her own.

The DC are only 6 and 3 but I encourage them to do things for themselves to foster independence. I often send them to pay for things themselves but usually have to rescue them as the adults in the queue overlook them and they don't get served :(

The first time DS 13 chose to go into town on his own on the train with a friend, rather than ask for a lift in the car, I knew that was a huge step for him on the road to independence.

When we first left our DD with her grandparents for a couple of nights at the other end of the country whilst we had to work..... she didn't even ask for us once! Amazing.

my 9yo saw a busker when she was out and about and really wanted to give it a go herself. I let her take her violin out and 'busk' on the corner. I sat across the road where I could still be close but gave her the independence to give it a go by herself. She made £20 in half an hour and was so pleased with herself. She put it in her bank account as she is saving up for a new dolls pram

First time was when DS was about 3. He decided he could choose his own clothes and get dressed. I waited with baited breath wondering what he would be wearing. He came downstairs fully coordinated and from then on pretty much did it himself most days. Next most significant time was when he was 11 and started high school. Everyone said I would see the change in him. Took about a month then bam, he thought he was a teenager! Now be is a teenager (just) he thinks he is 20. He was most disgusted when I told him he has to be in at 5pm now the clocks have gone back. Kids, who'd have 'em? Joking by the way, I love him dearly (most of the time!!!)

My son is on the autistic spectrum, but manages mainstream school (most of the time). He has always found it considerably harder than most children of his age to do things independently of parental support and help.

So it was wonderful, a week after he turned 12 recently, to see him commit to his own decision to walk from home to the school bus stop in the mornings, and back later in the day. It's not all that far, really, but it does involve walking past houses of strangers and sometimes passing people walking their dogs (he's pretty scared of dogs); plus quite a busy road to cross. For most kids his age this would probably be no great achievement, but for him, it's been huge.

I have to admit that sometimes at home time I lurk in the front room peeping out through the blinds just to watch my brave young man make his own way back home, and am filled with pride in him, knowing just what it has cost him to get this far.

My eldest will be 4 in March and therefore starting school in September. We havent had much in the way of independence yet so it will be interesting to see what going to school brings. I will try and hold off as long as possible on gadgets and mobile phones. With regards to keys and responsibility that will very much be dependent on attitude and sensibleness of said child!

Nine year old waved at me this week as he rang off to school pool to start swim squad early one morning. Didn't need to take him. He hooked up with his peers and off he went.

My two aged 4 and 7 have just starting 'going to the shop' by themselves. That basically means I give them 50p and then wait by the door while they choose a (pre agreed) sweetie or treat and pay for it themselves. They think themselves very grown up! Added benefit is that they are learning to work out what they can afford, and count out the change. I'm hoping this leads to good budgeting skills when they are truly independent!

My two are both too small. From my childhood, I remember the first time I was allowed into town on the bus with my friends. Armed with my mums mobile incase I needed it!

When we let my 11 year old walk to the shop by herself! I spent the whole time clock watching and looking out the window to see if she was coming back! She loved it and of course was absolutely fine! You need to give them wings!

A simple thing but a landmark moment when my son first bought his own underwear.

My children are too young to be independent yet, but I remember from my own childhood, that I was walking from school to my mum's office at the age of 6. She walked the route with me a couple times to learn it. No way I would let my now 6 year old walk anywhere by himself haha, times change! :)

My son is only 6 so it's just the little things so far that have made me realise that he's growing up - when he finally stopped asking for help in the bathroom, when he gets his own drinks, when he stops to help out his younger sister when she's whinging about something, when he says 'don't worry, mummy' if I'm looking concerned about something.

I celebrate his growth and independence but it's also a teensy teensy teensy bit sad realising he's growing older so quickly.

For me, the biggest moments of independence have been giving DD increasingly responsible roles when she helps me cook, gradually progressing from helping me stir soup, to chopping vegetables, to taking responsibility for a particular part of the dish, such as frying eggs.

Carrying his own shopping around the supermarket

Not too many at the moment although they recently decided I can no longer pick the fruit in the shop "I do it"

My daughter is 11 and just recently started high school, where she seems to have grown up very quickly and he independence seems to have gone from 0-100 rapidly!

I started to prepare her for independence over the last year, whether asking her to nip to the local shop to get her used to crossing busy roads or asking her to do little errands for me, to make her feel responsible.

My daughter had her house key in September when she started high school, she also catches the public bus all on her own and i am so proud of her, it has made her so confident. She comes home from school and on some days has around 2 hours on her own before i come home from work and she embraces it.
I wouldnt want to leave her all day as i just think she would be bored and restless but she and i are happy with just a couple of hours, at the moment.

My DC are still too young to have that sort of independence but from my childhood I clearly remember the elated self important feeling when I got keys to our house. Also the fright when I walk to the shop alone for the first time. The untimate independence was getting my own phone at the age of 16!!

My eldest two used to lose everything, so we were very reluctant to give them their own. They finally got one, wrapped in a jewellery box on their 18th birthdays! 15 year old DS3 is completely different, much more reliable and careful. He gets a key whenever he asks for it and has done for years!

I think there have been lots of moments of independence along the way as mine have grown. The moment my daughter demanded to be able to walk and run instead of being confined to a pushchair. That was a moment of indepence. The first time she wanted to dress herself instead of me helping and doing it for her was a moment of independence. As young as she is when she wants to help me polish or hoover. That is a moment of independence. There are so many steps towards it from a very young age and i treasure every one.

From a very early age my DS's favourite saying was "I can do it myself!" ... but the very first time that I wasn't able to be home for him after school we hid a key and told him to let himself in and make sure to lock the door behind him, I would only be about half an hour ... arrived home to a very proud 9 year old and a house like Blackpool illuminations!

Eldest DC, aged 8, going to the corner shop, to get a pint of milk, DH, unbeknown to her, had his binoculars trained on her from the moment she set foot out of the door till the moment she got back! She was so proud of herself, it's lovely to see them grow in confidence! :)