Tell Nationwide about your DC’s moments of independence for a chance to win a £300 voucher. NOW CLOSED

[RebeccaEMumsnet]

As DCs edge closer to their teenage years, it can be an uncertain time for parents who have to decide how much independence to give to their teens and when to give them that little bit more responsibility.

In the below ad, spoken word artist Isadora speaks of the freedom she felt when she first received her own house key. For many tweens and teens, being given their own house key signifies a new level of independence. To celebrate their FlexOne current account for 11-17 year olds, Nationwide would love to know what moments made you realise that your own DCs were growing up.

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At what age did you make your DCs responsible for their own house key? How did you feel the first time you trusted them to walk to the post box or the local shop on their own? When did you feel confident enough to leave them on their own in the house for a period of time?

If your DCs are still small, what moments of independence do you remember from your own childhood and teenage years?

Everyone who posts on this thread will be entered into a prize draw, and one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

Thanks,

MNHQ

Standard Insight T&Cs Apply

Dd is only two but I remember getting the bus on my own to school, can't remember how old I was. I was a mix of terrified and ready proud!

My daughter is fiercely independent, she is two! I try to support her growing in independence by giving her choices but at the moment her usual response is 'I can't choose those mummy, I don't like those choices.' God help us when she's 11.

Mine is 12 and today is her first shopping trip with a friend, walked to town, having a burger for lunch and making their way back alone. They are due back any minute and I am trying to stop myself looking out of the window for them. She will have her own key when we move, that will be in the next few months. I know we have to let them go little by little but it's not easy.

Currently goes to the shop or postbox on his own, which can be seen from the house, and one of us watches from a window (he doesn't know)! He feels independent, we feel calmer and hopefully it will help us see that he is OK doing these things on his own

I had a house key at the age of 10. I remember forgetting it once (I kept it in the lift up desk at school). When I came back for it, my lovely teacher commented that I was a "latchkey kid".
Made me feel very grown-up!

Well if it counts I let my 14 month old walk in town today holiding my hand

I work full time so dd went to after school club most days. In year 6, in the summer she started coming home alone. Now at Secondary, she has a key and comes home and feeds the cat, then plays on her laptop does her homework and gets a snack. She also takes herself to her singing lesson after school on a Friday on the bus. Today she has been out with a friend to the local shopping mall. I am just about getting used to it

Being able to walk home from school in the last year of primary. Felt v grown up.

I remember when my two were about 4 & 6 and I got a migraine. Not a bad headache but a crawling on the floor puking my guts up migraine.

The eldest got the phone rang his Daddy at work and told him the situation. DH told him to pop TV on & he'd be home as soon as he could. Next thing DH knows is further phone call from DS saying not to rush they'd made themselves paninis, no panic though as they'd watched me make them & they'd known exactly what to do. They'd even made on for DH!!

They've always loved cooking & will never go hungry

My eldest is nearly 4, and we already have started to encourage wise independence. We live in a really great street, so we encourage her to cycle up the street, just out of our view, then turn and come back again. And we go climbing, and she climbs with another person as her base rope. We're both really sporty, and we want her to be confident with sport too. And we've swum with her since she was tiny, and she swims alone now without support. We took her with one of those body floats, then gradually took one away at a time..

My 8 year old loves to be dropped off on our way home to walk the last bit herself. She also loves being asked to bike to the post box to post a letter or to go up to her friend's house on her own and ask if she wants to play. When we go camping both DC's (DS is 5) love to go to the site shop on their own or over to the shower block to sort themselves out. It's a bit hard where we live to let them walk home from school etc as the roads are very rural with no paths. They will probably be older than children who live in more urban areas where everyone is walking home to be allowed to do that.

When we moved abroad my 2 DC were 10 and 11yo. There was a video library and cafe about 1/2 a mile away crossing one side road. I gave them money to choose a film and buy a snack lunch in the cafe next to the shop. They were gone an hour, I was a a little anxious but they were pleased as punch.

DC is almost 9 and I let her walk to the post box on her own the other day, no roads to cross. On school days I will see her across the busy road, then watch her walk up the road and into school on her own or with a friend.

I would not let her go to the shop on her own though, although I have left her alone for 5 minutes whilst popping to the shop (always tell neighbour I have done so). If we are on holiday at the holiday park that I go to regularly then I let her go to the play area on her own.

When she starts secondary school in a few years, she will have a mobile phone and her own door key.

Dd got a Key when she was 12 and started high school. Then she 15 she lost it so I made her save up to get a new one cut and no sooner than she got the new one she found the old one . So now we have a spare key!

Still a while before we have to worry about this.....phew!!!

For DS it was at 14, when did his first babysitting job

Earning his own money was a big moment, he came home about an inch taller abd with an air of grown up-ness I had not seen before!

My DS got a key for the first time this year (he was 9, now 10) he was so proud that he was able to come home and let himself in , I treasure the text message he sent me about it and his pride at sorting out the dogs on his own.. He's been going to the shops on his own since he was 8, it was a surprise when he first said he would go to the shop and get milk when we'd run out one day. Sadly the novelty of going to the shops to get things we've run out of has worn off already! Nice whilst it lasted though....

Our ds is nine and has high functioning asd, he does really well despite his learning disability. We are trying to teach him the value of money by giving him 5 pounds per week pocket money. He saves up for treats now insure ad. Of bank of mum and dad. We don't feel he is responsible enough to have his own key but we have got him a cheap payg mobile. He is also a seconded at cubs and organises his pack.

We were at soft play. Dc1(5) wanted a drink but I was pinned under a sleeping dc2. So I sent her up to get it herself. She was so proud.

Ds walked to the postbox (a 2 minutes walk but just around the corner so partly out of sight) for the first time when he was 4.

Supervised him crossing the very quiet road and then watched him go round the corner. He then took aaaaaaages to reappear and walk back along the road: we think because he was on his own, he took pleasure in examining every stone on the walls taking his own time, rather than forced to walk too fast at his mum or dad's pace.

He first got a key when he was about 9 or 10 - but did to get into the habit of taking it with him until he started at secondary at 11. Even then, there were a couple of times when he had to ask our neighbours for the spare key as he was used to us being in, so would get caught out if we happened to be out.

I remember walking home from junior school with the front door eye hanging around my neck on a pink ribbon I must have been about 9/10.

Senior school here too for door key and staying on her own for a few hours after. DD is very sensible though and texts me to say she has arrived at back at home. She always wanted to walk to the local shop on her own. Now I am happy to let her she doesn't want to go. I do feel guilty that she is here on her own for a couple of hours after school each day.

Ds is 13. At 12 we decided that now he had his own key and phone more often than not was starting to do last minute things with mates after school, he should have a debit card.

Sorting the account was weird enough, but reassuring to know he now had access to money but not the worry of carrying cash. I really realised that he was growing up the first time he was heading out and I said "have you got your keys and wallet?". Till then the only other person I said that to was his dad.

The first time he took his wallet (transformers, obviously) and paid for his own toy with his birthday money. It was such a lovely thing to watch. His little face looking at the cashier, and seeing the smile on his face as she popped the toy into a bag for him. Growing up can be wonderful!