Tell Nationwide about your DC’s moments of independence for a chance to win a £300 voucher. NOW CLOSED

[RebeccaEMumsnet]

As DCs edge closer to their teenage years, it can be an uncertain time for parents who have to decide how much independence to give to their teens and when to give them that little bit more responsibility.

In the below ad, spoken word artist Isadora speaks of the freedom she felt when she first received her own house key. For many tweens and teens, being given their own house key signifies a new level of independence. To celebrate their FlexOne current account for 11-17 year olds, Nationwide would love to know what moments made you realise that your own DCs were growing up.

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At what age did you make your DCs responsible for their own house key? How did you feel the first time you trusted them to walk to the post box or the local shop on their own? When did you feel confident enough to leave them on their own in the house for a period of time?

If your DCs are still small, what moments of independence do you remember from your own childhood and teenage years?

Everyone who posts on this thread will be entered into a prize draw, and one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

Thanks,

MNHQ

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Ds2 is now 13, and we started to give a house key when he was 11 and started high school so he could let himself in if I wasn't back in time from picking DS2 up from school.
There'd only be a 15 minute or so overlap, but it felt such a big step letting him have them as it was a definite leap from childhood to that first step to independence!
It's so hard at that age. On the one hand, you know you have to start letting them have a little bit of freedom as they have to make their own way to school and back, but on the other hand they're still so tiny and you don't want to let go and end up fretting constantly until they're back!

She has started hanging the clothing out to dry

My daughter who is now 12 years old has always been very independent. From the first day I took her to nursery she didn't look back or cried once.

My son who is 7 years old is less independent than my daughter but in his little world he likes doing things in his own way.

I remember being able to go out out by myself as in out at night to a local disco where you could obtain alcohol easily. I was about 15/16 and I knew I had to make sure I didn't do anything silly if I was to be trusted again!!

Going off to town for the first time - scary!!

I sent DS2 aged 8 off with 50p to buy something in town today we had forgotten when I was in another shop. Pedestrianised, maybe a three minutes walk. DS1 went too. We finished our purchase and followed - I could see from outside them queuing to pay, clutching their money, handing it over, saying thank you. I almost melted.

My LO is 3, so not yet enjoying much independent without me pursuing very close behind!! I remember my own moments of independence as a child though - being left alone while my Mum & brother went to the shop - it felt very odd being in the house on my own & I ended up hiding behind the sofa until they got back!!
It didn't take me long to get used to that feeling though & from the age of 10 or 11, I was eager to explore the small Island we lived on & would disappear for most of the Summe Holidays - briefly reappearing for dinner, bed & then off out again the next day after breakfast.
It terrifies me now to think of my child enjoying that same freedom, but times have really changed :(

My DS decided he was ready to take his little sister to the park on their own.

He was 3 she was 2!!!!!
He was naked but for a vest, she was in pyjamas, covered in chickenpox and pushing a dolly pram.

We had just moved from a flat to a house and had the front door off to be changed, so they escaped through the porch door and off down the road.
They managed to get halfway down the next block before we realised that each other didn't have the kids with us ( in different parts of the house)
Horrendous.
He was most indignant to be captured as he wanted to feed ducks and was not going to cross the road because he had no mummy there to help him
The fostering of independence took a bit of a back seat in our house for a while after this episode.....

My toddler letting herself out the back door to try and get on the swing and pester the cats!

Dd (1) sometimes chooses to "read" books by herself now. If we offer to read with her she says "no" and reads us the edited story highlights (based on the pictures) herself. It's so sweet and one of her first signs of wanting to be independent.

My daughter isn't at school yet so hasn't got that much independence but I loved it when she stated getting her own clothes out etc in a morning, she says ill do it mummy with such relish and it was one of those lovely moments where you think ahhh they are growing up

Mine are now 17 and 14. They had their own house key from age 11, when they were coming home on the bus from secondary school.

Walking home locally (post box, shop) was interesting. We live rurally and both my girls are sensible, so I let them walk home the half mile from primary school from age 9 or so. At first I met them at points along the way to keep an eye. But any time I didn't do this, I would nearly always find that they'd been driven home by our neighbour when collecting her own child. "I saw that you were late, so thought I'd drive her home for you." This continued even after I'd explained. ("I didn't like to see her walking) . It made me feel like a neglectful parent!

Home alone for an hour or so from age 11, except once when I had to leave dd2 at 8 in an emergency for an hour until someone else could get to her. I was very worried but I had no choice and she was fine . Her Dad rang every 10 mins to check on her.

My son has just taken his cycle safety test at school and now he wants to cycle to and from school in the mornings. Not walking with him to school has made me realise how quickly he is growing up, and how important his new found independence is to him.

My son is 11 and is very sensible so when his Grandad was feeling unwell after bringing him home from school, he ran into the house, told Grandma that Grandad wasn't well and got the wheelchair so he didn't need to walk into the house. I was really proud of him and realised that he is growing up fast!

I remember being trusted with a lot at a younger age than my friends at school. I had a key to the house before anyone else and was enrolled for babysitting duties of my younger sister before anyone else.

I think it showed that there isn't a particular age when children should have more responsibility. It always depends on the child.

My other sister is 2 years older than me but I was always the one that was 'in charge' when mum went out hahaha

My eldest is 16; the first time I let him do anything on his own he walked the 2 minute walk up the road to Cubs. I think he was 10 and I worried like mad the whole time, even though it was literally a case of walking along our road and round the corner!
When he got to Year 6 I allowed him to walk home from school on the days when his younger brother had an after-school club, to save me from doing two school runs. About 2 weeks into Year 7 and he was walking to and from school on his own every day and still does now he's in sixth form.
My middle boy is 12 and was chomping on the bit for independence so he likes to hang out with his mates either around our neighbourhood or sometimes in town - on the condition that he checks in frequently by text or WhatsApp to let me know he's OK.
Youngest is 9 and so far I haven't let him do anything more than play out on his bike with his older brother. Then again, he hasn't asked to do any more than that yet so I'm not pushing him!

We have a tiny local shop really close by that there are no roads to cross....probably about 15 houses away.....DD has been begging to be allowed to pop there for milk since she was 5!!! erm No way sweetie!
Now if we are ever nipping in there on the way home, I have to stay outside after my own shopping while my newly 5 year old goes in by himself & trys to work out his money xxx It's sooo ridiculously cute & brilliant (heartbreaking) to see from a little man who was so clingy just 6 months ago xxx

My DDs are 6 and 4 so still early for gaining independence but they both love having independence about the clothes they wear and making choices about places we visit! The more involved in decision-making children can be from an early age, I believe the more confident they grow to be!

For my children it was also being given the keys to the house for the first time😃, their own set each with an individual key ring special to them. This would have been at the age of perhaps eleven or twelve- starting secondary school.I think that this is very much a gesture of trust being given to them and they very much feel that. A big first moment of independence😃

Allowing DS to play out all day with his friends as long as he stays in the street, he knows where we are and is in and out of the neighbors gardens. He'll have more when he's a bit older but currently he's still quite young.

My DS is aged 9 and he won a photo competition with quite a large money prize. He feels so independent now he has a large amount of money to spend, and boy is he spending it slowly....

I remember learning to polish my school shoes, iron my own clothes and set out everything for the next day.

We have just got back from holiday and when I saw DD going up the escalator on her own, backpack and sunhat on and just looking so self-assured, I knew that it won't be long before we are at the walking to school on her own stage.

My son is younger, but he loves helping to make tea for us all and when we let him make his own lunch he thinks it is the best thing in the world.

My little 6 year old has just been to half term club for the irst time. He is so proud of himself

My eldest is 10 now and has led quite a sheltered life. I'm becoming increasingly aware that I need to start loosening the reins on him and giving him a little freedom & responsibility but it terrifies me. I have recently started dropping him at his swimming lesson and letting him go in by himself and then come back out when he is ready and also have left him in the library reading whilst I took his little sister to her swimming lesson. Also have let him walk down our lane to neighbouring houses when we have received wrongly delivered post.