Tell Nationwide about your DC’s moments of independence for a chance to win a £300 voucher. NOW CLOSED

[RebeccaEMumsnet]

As DCs edge closer to their teenage years, it can be an uncertain time for parents who have to decide how much independence to give to their teens and when to give them that little bit more responsibility.

In the below ad, spoken word artist Isadora speaks of the freedom she felt when she first received her own house key. For many tweens and teens, being given their own house key signifies a new level of independence. To celebrate their FlexOne current account for 11-17 year olds, Nationwide would love to know what moments made you realise that your own DCs were growing up.

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At what age did you make your DCs responsible for their own house key? How did you feel the first time you trusted them to walk to the post box or the local shop on their own? When did you feel confident enough to leave them on their own in the house for a period of time?

If your DCs are still small, what moments of independence do you remember from your own childhood and teenage years?

Everyone who posts on this thread will be entered into a prize draw, and one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

Thanks,

MNHQ

Standard Insight T&Cs Apply

The first time that DS went into school on his own! We had 3 years of escorting him to the hall in the morning and then on the first morning of Y3 he gave me a hug and said 'I need to go in on my own now mum'. Bittersweet.

Ds1 is 8 and we've only recently started letting him have more independence.

He's now allowed to go out to the car on his own to get something (which is parked on the street, about 5 car lengths away), including crossing the road. I also let him disappear out of sight in the supermarket - he loves going off to get milk/bread/apples and then bringing them back.

He's begging to be allowed to walk to the local shop alone but we're not quite there yet...i'm sure he'd be OK but i'm not sure I would.

Sprout is nearly 2 and has learnt the word 'no' which he uses with increasing frequency to express things he doesn't like! the first tiny steps.....sigh....

Her granddad gave her a Gift Card for Sainsbury's.
She loved being able to choose her fashion clothing she wanted and paying for it herself.
Although she hasn't quite understood that there is only a certain amount on the Gift Card as she keeps telling everyone she will buy them presents on her card.

I have four children, the youngest of which is seven years younger than her next sibling. Since a toddler, she has been very independent, wanting to be able to do things her older siblings can do. However, the older children were very close in age (only 4 years between the three of them) so once the eldest child was allowed to do something, it never seemed too long before I would let the others do the same thing. To me, my youngest child is the baby and I didn't want her to grow up too fast. Unfortunately, life has a habit of making decisions for you. I have been disabled for the past three years and so my youngest child started to walk home by herself aged 8. However, she really demonstrated her independence this summer - I needed a couple of things from the supermarket but cannot walk round to pick them up - I had to give my daughter, who was 9 at the time, a £20 note and a list of shopping. She came out with all my shopping - even telling me that she had bought two specific fruit items as there was an offer on buying these specific fruits - my years of thrifty shopping had obviously been passed down. I felt so proud of her and she is going from strength in her independence.

My son is 4, and currently the most independent thing he does is get himself a glass of water, and occasionally not spilling it!

oh, so many!
Those moments of self-assuredness, knowing what to do without help:
Sitting down in a plane seat, putting on his seat belt, plugging on his phones and dealing with the complicated multi-media thingummy (aged about 4 or 5)
to
Overhearing me say the screenwash in the car needs filling up - and just calmly going and dealing with it, having seen me do it. (aged 14), feeling grown up in his knowledge. Now he does the same with the tyre pressure.

Having his own tent on the campsite - aged about 9 - and pitching it miles from mine. Feeling a bit nervous, but also remembering the heady sense of adventure and independence I felt in my own tent aged 9.

Getting the train to ComicCon, seeing pictures of him and his friends looking so savvy.

My son is 9 and I know I will have to face this soon, I remember being able to go all over the place in our town when I was his age but no way would I let him do that, it's a different world now so I am hoping we start with baby steps. He is very independent around the house, loves to do cooking 'under supervision' and helps out with chores.

I wasn't left by myself until I was in secondary school and even then my mum worked school hours.

I was allowed to walk to school by myself though even tho she was going the same way. I used to pretend I didn't know her and hurry off with my friends!

I do remember tho one snowy day aged about 7 my mum going to walk the dog whilst I was ill. I felt so grown up being left by myself!!

My moment was when I was deemed old enough to babysit! I couldn't believe that I was no longer in need of someone to look after me and that I could actually get paid to mond other children.

We gave our daughter her first bit of independance by letting her go to a brownies sleep over. We were expecting a call in the middle of the night but she stayed no problems and cant wait to do it again.
She was 8 and I think this is a great age to start giving a little independance

DS 4yrs old in Reception, just started school and I volunteered to help sell cakes at the PTA bake sale. DS stood behind the table and sold some cakes, taking the money, handing over the cake (even though he wanted to eat it) and counting the change. He even asked them if they wanted a napkin! He had the biggest smile on his face, he was so proud of himself. He went on to sell more cakes for about 30 mins and practiced his maths with adding up the cost and giving change. He pushed me away, "I don't need your help mummy, I can count all the way to 37 you know.." ☺️ So proud of my boy xx

My daughters was when she turned round and said "I don't need this any more I'm a big girl" she then pulls her dummy out and gives it to me! Gob smacked I can tell you never thought she would give it up without some kind of fight or bribery . I love Pre - School!

walking to school "alone" - in reality I was 20 feet behind (this was only in year 3)!

My DS (6) has been earning 'independence' whilst on holiday. I have been allowing him to go to the park on his own which involves crossing a (not very busy) campsite road (whilst I watch on to make sure he is stopping and looking). He's done really well whilst away and my next step will be to allow him to go to the small park directly opposite our house.

I remember from when I was growing up that my mum would let us go off for the day on our bikes. She'd not see us all day, there were no mobile phones. She didn't worry about us as she was confident that she had taught us well. It was great being able to head off out with friends, only returning when it was too dark to see to play. I would've been about 9 or 10. Unfortunately children do not get these opportunities lately as there are too many worries in the world.

My son when he first was allowed to cycle to town... He looked shocked when I said why not.
He also showed great happiness at being allowed to come home instead of going to Afterschool club in year 6. He was so proud and would call me if he wanted anything so he couldn't break and rules.

Walking to school on her own at 8yrs old. I was terrified but knew I had to let her do it. We did the walk together several times through the school holidays and then I waited anxiously by the window for her to get home, still do!

I don't remember ever getting my own house key although obviously I must have done at some point.

However, I do remember running back to the house from the car when we were about to go out for the day because I'd forgotten something. DF gave me the key to get in and the door was on the latch so all I needed to do was close it behind me. Off we went for a lovely day out.

When we got back late that evening the front door was wide open. I had forgotten to close it! Luckily nothing was taken but I think it was a long time before I was trusted with a key again...

My kids are still very young, but I remember getting my first house key - I must have been about 12 and I was really worried I would lose it.

My real feel of independence came when I got my first car and could go where I liked.

I remember being about 9/10 when my mom said that I could go on the bus to the shops with my friend. However, the bus was so late turning up I wouldn't have been able to get there and back by the time my mom said I had to be home. I turned up at home crying as I couldn't go to the shops. However, on the plus side mom did decide that I was clearly sensible enough to follow instructions and let me do more on my own after that.

Id been really worried about my son settling at playschool but the first day went without a hitch. On the second day I thought the novelty might have worn off and we may have a problem. However he touched me gently on the arm and said 'I know, you go and buy sweets and when you get back wait outside for me' !!! Slightly hurt but pleased he was independent lol.

I loved catching the bus into town on a Saturday with my friends, it felt like I was free and could get about on my own even though my mum was worrying the whole time until we got home!

The first times they make their own meal!
My dcs are 9 and I remember coming downstairs one morning when they were about 7 to find they had made their own toast, they were very proud. First time they made their own packed lunch, baked cakes without help following a recipe, made a simple meal like beans on toast.
I had my own key from age 9 on a piece of string around my neck, lost it so many times and had to wait at the neighbours for mum to get home to let us in.

My DC are still very young.

It was a real rite of passage to be trusted to cycle to our village shop with my younger sister for the first time. I felt so grown up and responsible. I bet my parents were nervously biting their nails until we returned, though!

My kids are too little really but for me...it was walking to the corner shop on my own!!! Funny I say that though I was probably younger than my eldest now & i wouldn't dream of letting her go out by herself!