Tell Nationwide about your DC’s moments of independence for a chance to win a £300 voucher. NOW CLOSED

[RebeccaEMumsnet]

As DCs edge closer to their teenage years, it can be an uncertain time for parents who have to decide how much independence to give to their teens and when to give them that little bit more responsibility.

In the below ad, spoken word artist Isadora speaks of the freedom she felt when she first received her own house key. For many tweens and teens, being given their own house key signifies a new level of independence. To celebrate their FlexOne current account for 11-17 year olds, Nationwide would love to know what moments made you realise that your own DCs were growing up.

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At what age did you make your DCs responsible for their own house key? How did you feel the first time you trusted them to walk to the post box or the local shop on their own? When did you feel confident enough to leave them on their own in the house for a period of time?

If your DCs are still small, what moments of independence do you remember from your own childhood and teenage years?

Everyone who posts on this thread will be entered into a prize draw, and one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

Thanks,

MNHQ

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My DCs moments of independence seem to occur when travelling on public transport. She no longer wants to sit with me on the bus and wants to be on her own

My daugther started high school last year and I walked her around the corner to the bus-stop every day before continuing onto my work place. This year, now is is in Year 8, she has been walking there herself with a flask of hot chocolate. She loves it, I hate it. Where we live we are just off a motorway and there are so many abduction attempts that I feel scared all the time. I keep trying to tell myself that I was out playing at a really early age as a child - as my friends were. I still wish I could wrap her in cotton wool though.

DC are only 4 & 6 so still small. However once I was floored by a tummy bug & DH at work so they managed to get themselves breakfast - cereal in a bowl, milk then bowls in the sink afterwards. There was a bit of mess but a small step towards independence that helped me a lot in that day

I think the first moment of independence was simply riding a bike, I think for them it was a means of getting themselves around without having to ask for a lift!

When they started comprehensive school and started walking home on their own.

My smallest (nearly 2) is really starting the whole independence thing. Great to see but we do face a series of tantrums now as little lady wants to feed herself unaided at all, walk down the stairs by herself etc. All great progression/development for her though.

we used to take the Tube a couple of stops to get to school when I was around 7. I was with my brother who was a couple of years older and it seemed to be ok

My 13-year-old daughter is hesitant sometimes to strike out on her own, so I was quite proud of her last week when we were in town with her grandparents. We each gave her some money to spend, and for the first time she went off by herself to the shops. Turns out she found her way there easily, got what she wanted, and found her way back to us, confidently and with no problem at all. I guess the sudden unexpected windfall of cash was all the incentive she needed, LOL.

My son started to help our local charities I was so proud to see him with our local charities collecting money by packing bags at asda.My son is 13 years old but before this age he would never have had the confidence to do this.

I have always been what you may say as over protected to my children, we live in the heart of London and is very busy. The day each one started high school was the day I gave them a key, new independence comes with high school and for me the time was right, around this time I also allowed them to walk to and from school its a straight road and quite busy however if it wasn't a built up area I would have left it longer , how things change from when I was younger was left alone quite often from about 9-10 had my own door key and was told to be in before the street lights came on

My little one is still small but I think 13 is a good age for their own doorkey and been able to walk to the shop/friends if they let you know exactly where they are and who with. I think 14/15 can possibly be left for a couple of hours in the house and 16 upwards can be left overnight at home. I was given a door key at 13 and allowed to walk to the shop and local town at about 11/12. I was left in the house by myself 13 onwards and left overnight from 15 onwards

I suppose I am a worrier and a kind of over-protective parent so I found it quite hard when our son started to want his independence, I think the main one was walking to and from school on his own - and then on the occasions I was out I worried about him letting himself in, so silly I know, but I would ring to make sure he got home safe. The man tells me I am being really silly but I just could not help myself! Even now when he wants to go somewhere I have to hide my worry - because you have to let your children spread out their wings and learn to fly solo otherwise they will never have confidence and independence.

He has always been a sensible child - well to be fair I would say he has more sense than me! So it was never a matter of trust, it was just a matter of us facing up to the fact he wanted his independence at times.

These days he just turned 15 and does things like open up an old hi-fi to weld something to fix it and tells me not to touch "that capacitor" etc - its like the roles are reversed and he is the adult looking after me!

It is strange at first when your children do not "need" you all the time, but you learn to enjoy the extra time you have to yourself, and even though he is 15 (and he will hate me for saying this on a forum) he still likes a hug - but obviously he would rather die than any of his friends see him so its always in private! haha

Moments of independence? My daughter started her moments of independence the second she popped out. I'm sure she was already a teenager by the day she was born

There was nothing quite so poignant than the first present my son bought for me out of his own wages.

The poignant moment when my eldest bought me a present out of his own wages for the first time.

this summer i let my eldest who is 14 get the bus on her own to meet a friend in the town centre to go shopping. it was a big deal for my as ive never let her go anywhere on her own, she had an amazing time shopping with her friend and ive noticed her confidence has grown!

My son is only 6 months old but we have just bought him a walker, havn't seen him since ;)
Only joking but he couldn't wait to run off and explore by himself

We gave our eldest his own door key on his 11th birthday when he'd just gone into year 6 and could walk to school and back with friends. It felt like quite a milestone and we bought him a really cool key ring to go with it.

I remember starting secondary school, and the first time I had to catch the school bus by myself, after many years of being escorted to primary school in the village. It was a startling change, and a real jolt out of the comfort zone - but after that the world was my oyster!

In Year 6 , dd tried to arrange a trip to the local shopping centre with her friends. I mentioned in passing to the school secretary, who commented " Gosh,is it that time of year already", apparently every year6 girls group did about the same time - the boys couldn't be bothered

The day that other children appeared at the door asking if DD could go out and play... She was only about 4 at the time, but it made me realise that this is what lay ahead....

She's now 6 and chaps the door for her friends after school and has her own social life which I am not privy to. It's lovely but hard to let go!

My son walked around Portlnad Island aged 10-11 - I was not at all chilled about it but he was really fighting me for independence and I just felt that he needed to pull away and I had to take the risk.

I loved when I was old enough to go to town shopping on my own not sure what age I was.I would spend all my pocket money on comics and books.

It is hard to watch them grow up and so quickly, my little boy may only be 4 but he is fiercly independent from wanting to make his own breakfast to getting dressed for school in the morning. The latest thing we have watched is in his crafting where previously we would have used scissors and done the cutting for him but know he tells us how we should hand him the scissors (obviosuly taught in school) and how he will use them and then give them back to us...it may not seem a lot but in the world of a four year old these are mamooth steps!

My moment of independence came when I was allowed to go into town with my best friend on the train. We went to C&A and bought a pair of those 1980's jeans with colourful pictures on the front (remember those things of beauty?!)