Tell Nationwide about your DC’s moments of independence for a chance to win a £300 voucher. NOW CLOSED

[RebeccaEMumsnet]

As DCs edge closer to their teenage years, it can be an uncertain time for parents who have to decide how much independence to give to their teens and when to give them that little bit more responsibility.

In the below ad, spoken word artist Isadora speaks of the freedom she felt when she first received her own house key. For many tweens and teens, being given their own house key signifies a new level of independence. To celebrate their FlexOne current account for 11-17 year olds, Nationwide would love to know what moments made you realise that your own DCs were growing up.

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At what age did you make your DCs responsible for their own house key? How did you feel the first time you trusted them to walk to the post box or the local shop on their own? When did you feel confident enough to leave them on their own in the house for a period of time?

If your DCs are still small, what moments of independence do you remember from your own childhood and teenage years?

Everyone who posts on this thread will be entered into a prize draw, and one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

Thanks,

MNHQ

Standard Insight T&Cs Apply

My dd is three and trying to be miss independent already. She asked us to get her a house key 'so I can let myself in when I'm out on my own!' We were a bit like err when you're 13 maybe!

My DS aged 10 was overjoyed to be given a house key to his grandparents house recently.
However not as much as they were, it saves them getting up at 7:30am to let him in
It is a small step, but DS is incredibly proud of his key, which he attaches to his school trousers proudly with a little chain.
However I have not given in to the mobile phone request, I trust him, but I just don't want him exposed to the Internet on his own yet.
I feel like I'm the only parent who hasn't succumbed yet.

Walking home from school on their own.

Going off to a new secondary school knowing that they were the only one from their primary school going - and not minding.

First left DC1 on their own at home aged 9. DC2 still not keen aged 11!

Sending them round to the 'corner shop' to buy the newspaper, milk or bread. DC1 still not keen though!

I've just started giving my eldest dc pocket money and linked it to different independent skills that I wanted him to develop.

The first time I let DS1 go to the shop on his own. A few weeks ago.No real roads to cross, only five minutes walk. He had a list. I watched out the back window as far as I could. He text me when he was in the shop, and when he was coming back. It was a huge huge thing, hes ASD and this route aged 10 to a little independence is so hard before secondary!

Tonight he went again. But this time with his brother. He fell over and came back with a bloody knee, and ignored an annoying bully of a child in the park heckling him as he walked past. This was almost as big a thing as the first time. He dealt with unexpected. And did it independently. I nearly cried as I cleaned him up.

My son (11) is very sensitive and timid however he had to be left home alone one day this summer and was bored. As he was going up to secondary school I suggested he spread his wings and get on the bus and meet me in the town centre during my lunch break. After about two dozen phone calls he agreed and off I went to meet him.
The bus didn't turn up, cue more panicky calls, and he eventually arrived as I had to return to work but he was SOproud of himself and I of him, it gave him a huge confidence boost and now he happily cycles to school daily without a backward glance.

My DD is just 9 months but suddenly has decided she doesn't like anyone helping her eat! I carefully loaded her spoon and handed it to her after a little protest and yep... it went straight on the floor! She couldn't have been more proud of herself .

My own moment of independence came when my DM went to her high school reunion and I was left to manage my stroppy teenage DB for two days. He put up a good fight! After a big challenge and him puffing out his chest, I managed to reason with him and I never will forget that feeling of accomplishment!

I have experienced all the usual feelings of angst and tummy flutters as my eldest DC has grown up; The first walk to school alone, trips with friends, home alone,getting on the bus, the sacred 'house Key' and the constant worry they will loose it, but the biggest impacting recognition of 'growing up' I have seen from my DC is his attitude towards his new baby brother. Just watching how he holds him and the cute little things he says to him fills my heart with joy, my eyes with tears and gives me the biggest scene that my once little first born DC is growing into a fine young adult :-)

I remember getting my first key, walking to school on my own, and - the big one! - getting the bus into town with friends & no grown ups!!!!

My eldest DS will soon be turning 13. He has started staying on his own for short periods and has joined a couple of activities which mean he makes his way there with a friend or a group.
I'm always careful to stress that it's about having a relationship of trust and knowing he will do the right thing. It's hard to let go as a parent, but it's more important to teach them how to deal with situations, rather than simply avoiding them.

The first time DD cooked dinner for us!

The first time my DS went out on his own (a few years ago) I cried! Pathetic I know but it really seemed the end of an era Now I've got to go through all this with DD soon and that's going to be even tougher as she's still my baby in my eyes and always will be!!

For my DS it was allowing him to cook a fry up by himself for us all. He was 10 and made the biggest mess you have ever seen in the kitchen but it was done beautifully and was very proud of himself.

Mine is still quite small (but it's going too fast!!). She can get herself dressed all by herself in the morning finally!

I remember being allowed to go to my friend's house - maybe about 8? - there was one main road to cross, which felt pretty grown up.

The first time was at about 9 when he wanted to walk home on his own from school. I secretly watched though!
We haven't lehim have a house key as the only time he had it ...it went missing!

My eldest walked to and from school in year 6, I panicked initially but knew she'd be fine. I then let her pop to the shops to get milk etc for me, she loved the freedom and being able to help me out! She now has her own key and phone being in high school!

when my oldest son was 9, he wanted to walk to school on his own, I was terrified, but he was fine and it increased his confidence.

Letting my children walk to the school gates on there own I walk them half way up the road to the school stop and let them walk up the rest of the way on there own through the school gates I can see them clearly so there not in any danger I found it hard letting them do that but they have to have that little bit of independence my eldest has house keys and a bus pass to get to school and still wants dropping off and picking up so she isn't bothered about her independence she still wants pampering but my younger children love it

They were so pleased the day they were allowed to go around to the local shops on their own and it filled them with pride that they did it.

My DC is still small (although we are just experimenting with independence anyway like it or not!). I remember being trusted to go to the village shop and farmshop for my Mum from at least the age of 7 on my own. Not sure that would happen in todays world...

As a child whose parents both need to work for financial reasons our daughter has had her own house key from age 11 when she started secondary school. Giving her a little responsibility has stood her in good stead and she's now a bright, helpful and pleasant 16 years old! We are very proud of her .

My oldest DS got a house key when he was 11, he did seem to suddenly grow up then.
I think him going to football training on the bus made me most nervous at first.

My son started to walk our dog on his own when he was 10, he was happy to do it and it helped me out alot :)

I can't even imagine giving a child still in primary school a key to the house and letting them come and go as they please. I was in secondary school and my DS age 8 won't be getting a key or walking home on his own until he's also in secondary school. I popped to the neighbours while he was alone watching TV in the house the other day to borrow something and was stood on their doorstep for 15 minutes chatting. DS decided I had gone missing and left the house to look for me without any idea where I was so he could have gone anywhere! I'm so paranoid after all these stories of people snatching kids off the street at the moment I won't let him play on the driveway on his own! Paranoid mother or not at least I know he's safe and sound.