Tell Mumsnet Flendr about the outrageous experiences you’ve had when people have been brass-necked with money – £300 Love2Shop voucher to be won! NOW CLOSED

[EmmaMumsnet]

Collecting money for shared presents, holidays, dinners etc. can be a pretty stressful experience and take a lot of organising. It can also be a massive hit to the bank account when someone doesn’t pay on time. On top of this, it can lead to strained relations between friends and family – people say they’ve paid when they haven’t, they forget to pay or they think they are no longer liable when they pull out of that concert last minute because they had something better to do.

Have you ever found yourself in a difficult situation when chasing people to pay you back for something? Did it lead to awkwardness or an argument? Did people make up ridiculous excuses to get out of paying their share? Whatever the story, Mumsnet Flendr would like to hear it!

Here’s what Mumsnet Flendr says: “We are excited to introduce Mumsnet Flendr, our official online platform for organising cash collections and fundraising activities. If you find yourself paying on behalf of others – whether it is a night out, tickets to a concert, hen party or collective birthday gift - use our platform and make your life that little bit easier.”

Please share your story with Mumsnet Flendr below and you will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

If you would like to sign up to trial Mumsnet Flendr, please click here

Thanks & good luck!

MNHQ

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I recently went to a wedding of a couple who have a fair bit of money and both have really good jobs, so I presumed it would be very fancy! I couldn't have been more wrong! It was a buffet dinner (which is fine if that's what you prefer) when the food came out we were presented with jacket potatoes lettuce beans cheese tuna & mushroom curry. I felt like we were in a café not at a wedding, we then had to wait half an hour to actually get up to get the food. For desert we had a slither of there wedding cake & for the evening buffet we had nothing BECAUSE THERE WAS NONE ! Fortunatley there was a kebab shop round the corner from the venue so we left early and got pizza on the way home

I remember one occasion when I was working and we all went out for a drink after work and to start with put £5 each in the kitty. A colleague decided after one drink they weren't going to stay any longer so took his fiver out of the kitty less the drink they had already drunk. I remember everyone was slightly shocked as this man was a senior member of management and not short of a bob or two!

When we go out for something to eat or drink anything as a family including my husband's sister and other half (working and earning good money) it is always assumed that my lovely and generous husband will settle the bill. Never is any money offered but it is accepted that we will always pay. My dh's good and generous nature is always taken advantage of and sadly its always one way traffic. I seethe quietly!!! It would be so nice if just ONCE they would say 'actually tis one's on us!!'

My sisters flatmate was always cadging food out of the fridge, dodging their share of the phone bill and generally being tight, so one Christmas, when he asked what she would like for a present, she was taken aback. She asked for a Eurythmics CD, and waited. Come Christmas, she opened up her present (which was not CD shaped), only to find it was indeed the Eurythmics album she had asked for, but he had bought it for himself and given her a taped copy!!

i once ran a catalogue, and a friends hubby bought quite a big item, then they split up and i never did get that money back!! wasnt her fault so we did stay friends but at the time it was a lot of money to me, i learnt my lesson and would never lend friends money ever again

I'm going back 27 years ago. My sister and her (now) ex were very good at getting out of paying their share on our family nights out. Newly married and pregnant, they would use the pregnancy as an excuse to leave before the bill arrived because she felt unwell. Not that unwell, mind, that she couldn't finish off a starter, main and a dessert.

So, the bill would get split between myself/dh and my parents, yet again, and we would never see a penny back from my sister, yet again.

It seemed to me that a very regular pattern was emerging so I voiced my concerns to my parents to be told I earned enough money to help them out, I shouldn't be selfish as my sister was feeling delicate in her pregnancy etc, etc.

I wouldn't have felt so strongly about it if my sister had at least paid some money towards the bills, but she never did. And I didn’t like everyone thinking I was being mean and petty.

So, there was only one thing for it. I ceased going on family nights out, making the excuse that money was tight. My dh and I had takeaway nights instead.

Arranging nights out and xmas parties for friends, then taking it on goodwill that you'll get the money back!

I was a teenager and I'd just started my first full time job. In my first week we all went to a local Italian restaurant.

I drank water and ate the cheapest food while others had starters, wine and brandies. When the time came to pay the bill it was split and there was no way I coukd afford it - I had enough for my meal and a tip, but no more.

One of the ladies I worked with noticed I looked upset and asked me what was wrong, so I explained. She paid the difference for me and wouldn't hear of me paying it back.

That was about 25 years ago and her kindness still makes me smile.

Mine is a family meal too.

My uncle visited from Canada and my sisters, mine and eldest sister's dh's, and our dc's went out for dinner with him. My sisters had 3 and 6 in their party respectively, we had a babysitter so it was just dh and I.

At the end of the meal, uncle puts in £40 for his share. No one else pays anything. Dh and I agree to put it on a card as we didn't have enough cash to cover our share, then get cash from the others.

One sister has never paid back or mentioned the bill.

One sister took half of uncle's contribution for her taxi, and then didn't contribute.

None of their adult children have either!
Uncle is coming back in 2017, this time if we go out to eat they are getting Flendr'd .

Some years ago, in my group of friends one was getting married. She was renowned for being quite extravagant when it came to herself but otherwise notoriously mean. Another of the group was asked to be bridesmaid and we were surprised when the bride said she was paying for the bridesmaid's dress. She bought her a second-hand frock for £15 from EBay (which the bridesmaid had to have dry-cleaned before wearing) and told her she could keep it and it would be her Christmas and birthday present that year. She really was an odd one.

Owed £ for ages for a hair cut- asked me to cut her sons for free three months after not paying me for hers!!

My absolute bugbear is when you collect for something at work - the worst being for the death in somebody's family - and people don't put in but sign the card! It would seem unseemly to kick up a fuss.

Back in the day when I could get out of the house more we organised a monthly collection for saving for a nice big Christmas party. We kept bailing one of our mates out and putting the tenner in for her as she always seemed to be out of cash

We realised why when another friend joined our group who knew her from all night parties she saw her at every weekend where drinks were certainly not cheap. We had scraped together money for her when we had far less than she had....

Some people just take the whole cake shop don't they?

Xxx

At Christmas I arranged with my brothers to each pay towards a Xmas flower arrangement for our mum and dad's grave. They both told me to order it and just let them know what they owed.

When I collected it I sent them both a picture of it and told them what they owed me. Brother 1 said "oh thats lovely, I'll ping the money over"
Brother 2 replied "that's really small, why did it cost so much?" So I say "well Xmas flowers are always pretty pricey but to be honest it's a good price, I'm really pleased with them"

Brother: "I'll give you the money when I see you then"

When I saw him next he says "here's a fiver, me and SIL really didn't think they were worth any more"

Whenever we collect money at work its always difficult especially just before payday when we have all sorts of weird and wonderful excuses like I cant afford to eat for the rest of this week and when payday comes they avoid you like the plague.

a male relative used to promise to pay me back so I would pay for us both for days out, presents, gifts etc and then I would increasingly need to chase him for money he owed me. This became too much of a pattern so I know not to agree to pay for him in advance any more!

I booked my hen do for loads of us as there was a good offer on. Everyone promised they'd go but alas a few backed out and I lost my money😠😭

The trouble with lending friends or family money is that they mostly will not pay it back without prompting. My biggest tip would be not to lend money out in the first place

we had a friend years ago that would vanish into the loo when it was his turn to buy a round of drinks and time it perfectly so that he rarely ever bought a round, when he had to he would order tap water for himself to reduce the cost!

Work 'do's' used to be a nightmare. I have an innate fear of being thought cheap, or not paying enough, so usually chuck too much in the pot, just to be safe, as do lots of other people. I then regret it 5 minutes later when some tighta** who I KNOW had either more drinks or more expensive food than anyone else counts up everything in the middle before putting their contribution in,

One woman I worked with for years has been known to only pay about £2 when everyone else has paid £20 - she'll add up everything in the middle, say 'oh we're only a couple of quid short' and that's all she puts in - regardless of the fact that it leaves NO tip. Grrrr!!!!!

Old flat mate just disappeared without paying the rent - this led to argument with landlord who tried to make us liable even though everyone paid their rent separately - we threatened to all move out and as the rest of us were good tenants it made the landlord more reasonable!

I used to go on team dinners with work mates and it used to be a nightmare, we used to have those that literally counted every single thing they ordered and quibbled over everything, I was happy to just split it by the number of people but the minute I used to see one of them get their calculator out my heart used to sink and I knew I was going to be there ages!!

I always used to treat my brother to meals out (unfortunately only way he'd socialise if it was a freebie!) He never thanks me, always moans that the food wasn't right and that he wishes he'd chosen what someone else did! Oh and says its his turn to pay next time.. never happened!! He's an oddball at times but he's my brother ;-)

I hate these situations!! I often used to buy a joint Christmas present for my parents on behalf of me and my siblings as I live the closest to our mum and dad. But after hearing their tales of student poverty all throughout the Christmas break, I would feel too guilty to mention the money they owed me, and would always end up paying for the whole thing myself. They aren't students anymore, but I still make sure we get our own presents now!

We went out for a meal where my friend was having £8 cocktails, she must have had at least 3. When the bill came one of my other friends said shall we just split it between us. I was quite shocked as my food and drink should have only been £15, but including her cocktails it went up to almost £20 and a few other had alcoholic drinks. I was not impressed, but luckily one of the drinkers said no that's not fair as we drank loads. I always find it awkward to say no