Tell Mumsnet Flendr about the outrageous experiences you’ve had when people have been brass-necked with money – £300 Love2Shop voucher to be won! NOW CLOSED

[EmmaMumsnet]

Collecting money for shared presents, holidays, dinners etc. can be a pretty stressful experience and take a lot of organising. It can also be a massive hit to the bank account when someone doesn’t pay on time. On top of this, it can lead to strained relations between friends and family – people say they’ve paid when they haven’t, they forget to pay or they think they are no longer liable when they pull out of that concert last minute because they had something better to do.

Have you ever found yourself in a difficult situation when chasing people to pay you back for something? Did it lead to awkwardness or an argument? Did people make up ridiculous excuses to get out of paying their share? Whatever the story, Mumsnet Flendr would like to hear it!

Here’s what Mumsnet Flendr says: “We are excited to introduce Mumsnet Flendr, our official online platform for organising cash collections and fundraising activities. If you find yourself paying on behalf of others – whether it is a night out, tickets to a concert, hen party or collective birthday gift - use our platform and make your life that little bit easier.”

Please share your story with Mumsnet Flendr below and you will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

If you would like to sign up to trial Mumsnet Flendr, please click here

Thanks & good luck!

MNHQ

Standard T&Cs apply

A work colleague appeared to be in straightened circumstances. She would happily come
along to meals, pub drinks etc but would either plead extreme poverty when the bill came or would conveniently have forgotten her purse. Me and my coworkers didn't mind too much as she was a single parent and we were single and child free at the time . We were surprised however at the end of the year when she told us delightedly she had managed to save £8000 to go on a dream holiday thanks to her 'careful economising'

Friends exw was terrible for that sort of thing. DH and a group of friend do a thing once a month, and rotate around some of the houses of the group - not all as some live in shared houses, and never this persons house as a) it was always utterly filthy and b) she refused to have them there. But would come out with the other women of the group while the blokes did this thing. But she never, ever, had any money. She'd say yes to doing something in particular, never cough up after. Agreed to do secret santa and then pulled out after present buying. Went on for years as we tried not to fall out as she took anything out on friend.

By choice I rarely carry cash. I find it gets frittered away. There was a collection at work for a leaving present and I asked the organiser if I could transfer them some money, save me going to the cash point. Sure she says but then never gave me her bank details despite me asking several times. It got a bit awkward " oh yeah, we will sort that out tomorrow" she would say. Then she would moan others hadn't paid up. In the end I just got some cash out for her but it would have been so much easier to have just logged in and pinged her something straight to her bank!

I had bought tickets to a gig on gumtree last minute so I asked a friend if she wanted to come with me. She responded with a yes please and a thank you. Soon realised that she wasn't going to offer me a penny. I probably should have told her in first text the cost but if someone asked me I would have said 'sure, how much is it?' didn't even buy me a drink!

Oh and job share in a previous job, I said I would order the children's Christmas presents and if would be X amount each, all agreed but I never got the money. I was too much of a wimp to ask for it in the end!

Yes, Having acted as class rep both as a college student, and more recently at kid's classes.People seem to think they can sign up for class meals/ outings etc not turn up (for no good reason!) and then think they are not liable for the deposit, and expect the rest of the class to bear this cost!

I remember a particularly horrendous family meal I went too as a teen. My family and my older sister's boyfriend's family went to dinner to celebrate her birthday. Posh restaurant. My younger sister had been feeling queasy all morning but was fine so we all went.

The boyfriend's family all ordered loads of alcohol, steaks, lobster, etc. My parents ordered conservatively as it was an expensive place and had a single glass of wine as one of them was driving home. Younger sister ended up outside throwing up into the flowers. I started feeling sick too so our meals were cancelled and removed from the bill, we both ate some bread and drank water (all free of charge). My parents wanted to go home but we ended up staying. Bill came and they go to pay their share when the other family go mad because they assumed that my parents would be sharing the bill I can't remember how that ended but I know that we never saw them again!

Oh, just remembered another from Sil (TINA - mentioned above). She decided In-laws (her's and DP's Mum and Dad) couldn't afford to buy their new car, so instructed us that we had to buy one, as she (SiL) couldn't afford to contribute anything, not even a penny. That year, we already weren't going on holiday as we wanted to get our bathroom done. Because we had to buy this car we had to now also put our own bathroom plans on hold for some time (In-laws regularly go on holidays, btw, so this was not me being particularly belligerent). SiL gave constant instructions to DP as to what car it should be, size, colour, etc etc. Moaned about all of his choices (bearing in mind we were paying for it, when we really couldn't afford it AND he did all the work in finding it, we had to view, DC and I cleaned it once we'd bought it. Then, we find that after all our plans had been put on hold, SiL, after saying she couldn't afford to contribute a single bloody penny because she was apparently in dire straits, went on a holiday abroad AND bought a new cream carpet for the whole of her downstairs!!!! In the meantime, we had to put up with an ancient, leaky bathroom for another two years. And a similar thing happened when the PiLs wanted that car to be replaced a couple of years later, SiL again couldn't possibly be expected to contribute, even though she could afford to go to San Francisco, Mexico, Dubai, Turkey, (among others) on holiday. Big Sigh

I'd won some vouchers for a local restaurant so invited a couple we knew, they didn't have to pay for anything all evening. After having a free evening they didn't even want to contribute towards the tip which we were pretty shocked by.

When I was a student in a shared house, one of the girls moved out a few weeks early and felt that meant she didn't have to contribute to any of the bills despite the fact her boyfriend had practically moved in and she still only paid 'her share' -apparently him showering, cooking and using the phone was paid for by the fairies

I paid all the final bills as they were in my name and also did a final clean before handing the keys back

I requested the money from her and she kept saying she didn't owe me anything as she hadn't been there

At the same time I was chasing the landlord for our deposit and they told me it had been returned minus some for cleaning which I contested as the place was clean (mum standards, not student standards)

6 months and 1 day later a letter arrives from her, with a cheque that was now out of date
In her letter she said that as I had cost the whole house the deduction in the deposit that I was liable, that covered her share of the utility bills and here was my share of the deposit

So I paid her share of the bills and lost my deposit

Never spoke to her again but randomly ended up in centre parcs at the same time a few years later where we both spent the week giving each other filthy looks

Whenever I've organised class or work collections there is usually someone who will rush to sign the card, usually adding a well-considered amusing comment but then never seems to have cash to put in the envelope. Personally I find this ruder than just not contributing but have always wimped out of saying anything.

Back when I first started working there were a group of us sho who's always go out together. One girl would always suggest meeting up in somewhere generic and would buy the first round at standard prices but would then always suggest more expensive bars and would quite happily let us buy the rounds at double the price. This happened for nearly two years before she met a rich boyfriend and stopped coming out with us!

Whenever I've organised class or work collections there is usually someone who will rush to sign the card, usually adding a well-considered amusing comment but then never seems to have cash to put in the envelope. Personally I find this ruder than just not contributing but have always wimped out of saying anything.

Back when I first started working there were a group of us sho who's always go out together. One girl would always suggest meeting up in somewhere generic and would buy the first round at standard prices but would then always suggest more expensive bars and would quite happily let us buy the rounds at double the price. This happened for nearly two years before she met a rich boyfriend and stopped coming out with us!

Oops at double post - I'm not that outraged!

Friend went on a first date in London and the date suggested they go to The London Dungeon (!). The bloke hung back at the ticket kiosk so friend paid for him as well and for the guide book he wanted.

Friend had on "date gear" including very uncomfortable high heels which rubbed and her heels started bleeding so friend sat down and bloke went to Boots to get some plasters. When he came back he asked for 47p (this was a while ago!). Friend was so surprised she handed over the money. Then they got a taxi to the tube. Friend paid.

She said he was the worst Scrooge she had ever met and worst of all he'd had the audacity to try to feel her up in the London Dungeon.

We were organising a collection for a colleague who was leaving - it was agreed we'd all put in £5 each. However, one of the guys said he only had £4 at that moment in time but would add the extra £1 the next day. He never did and when asked for it he tried to get out of it saying 'it's only a pound'!
The same guy has tried to avoid paying other people back on several occasions, he becomes part of a round (of drinks) but refuses to actually buy a round himself, and he'll let someone else pay for lunch for him on the presumption he'll return the favour, but then never does!
We've all becomes wise to it now (didn't take long!) so don't ever buy him anything or lend him any money!

I used to work somewhere that had a tea/coffee fund. There were a lot of us so it was really cheap & fresh milk was delivered daily. One guy took several cups of coffee per day for 7 years before someone rumbled the fact that he had never joined the fund. His excuse when he was finally exposed was that he drank his coffee black without sugar so he wasn't prepared to subsidise others that had milk & sugar in their drinks.

This looks great! The worse is classroom collections for the class teacher, where you aren't really well acquainted with half the parents but don't want to exclude them either. Awkward asking for money and reminding too.

We took my DM on holiday. At the start she announced that as it was always money that caused fights she'd be writing down what we'd spent each day and settling up each evening. She'd paid a share of the accomodation and ferry but nothing towards petrol.

One evening we went out to eat and she ordered a large ice-cream. Teen DS said he didn't want anything. DM starts eating her ice cream and it's too big for her so she offers what's left to DS and he finishes it.

Get back and she's working out the money. The ice cream was £5 "but he had half of that so that's £2.50" she says . We were so taken aback none of us could think of anything to say.

these sorts of things are always awkward...We've had to chase charity sponsorship payments, had to foot the major part of the bill for meals out even though i don't drink and often go without a starter, had to chip in for gifts for people I barely know, etc etc.

One of the most awkward times was when the treasurer of a group i was a member of absolutely swore that they had paid back my expenses for train fare they owed, when I was absolutely sure they hadn't - it was so awkward as I have always been so honest with money but they made it look like i was lying and trying to get the money back twice.

Another awkward time was a meal out with a group of friends, one particular friend is way more wealthy than the rest of us and when the bill came we all chipped in £20 as ours came to roughly that much and she embarassingly worked out that she owed 19.44 and only agreed to pay that much. Awkward!

Love the sound of Flendr which seems to put an end to all this awkwardness!

I used to work for my DM and SD. The company was struggling as clients weren't paying up on time and we still had to pay our contractors. So, DM got loans and an overdraft totaling £20K in my name. I was assured that in the extremely unlikely event that they could not pay it soon, they would be able to sell some of their assets and easily clear the debt. (They have more than enough assets for that without much inconvenience at all)
Needless to say, they never did repay the cash, closed the ltd company and reopened under a new name. I was left on maternity leave with a £20K debt.
My mother told me she would deal with it so I gave any debt correspondence to her and she contacted the collection agents. More letters arrived and eventually I found out that she had posed as me and agreed to pay it off at £100 a week. I didn't work!

Around a year or two later SD came into a £26K inheritance. Instead of making an offer to pay the debt, they blew the lot renovating a huge rented property on the promise of a long term let at an agreed rate. Getting nothing in writing, they were subsequently evicted months after renovations were complete and the landlord sold the now beautiful house and estate.

Years later I still owe £20K and daren't get a full time job in case any wages get garnished. I will never own my own home. I can't even declare bankruptcy because the company won't take me to court knowing I will declare bankruptcy. We're at a stalemate. Thanks mum.

a friend asks when I have home delivery of grocerys "ooh can you add this I see its on offer" she doesn't have home delivery so I gladly oblige.
they don't ever pay back :/

I once arranged a group trip for something costing around £40 a head for 35 people.

It was going well until I had one that consistently dodged payment and got the hump when I sold her ticket to someone else who wanted to go. She had had 4 months to pay.
Two that pulled out a week beforehand and demanded that I refund them. These were show tickets that I had booked on their direction in good faith-why should I be £80 out of pocket because they've changed their mind a week before the show??!

In the end I found other partakers, all seats were filled. However, disjointed group thanks to internal griping about me having sold on non-payers ticket.

What should have been a lovely night was just really stressful. I won't be doing it again!

I go to a weekly toddler group - parents and DC are meant to sign in at the start and put the £2 fee into a cash box as they enter. One Mum and her two young kids never signs in and never pays. It's in a church hall, snacks, crafts - seems so stingy when the organisers depend on this few quid to keep the group going. She drives a smart car, is fashionably dressed and one of her hobbies is shopping - she can definitely afford it.

Newly-ish married and a birthday meal out with a load of dh's relatives. Bill came and we were all paying for what we had had and dh's uncle kept going on about how I'd had two starters. I had. Two small mezze style starters which together were about the same cost as one of the larger starters everyone else had had. I'd had one soft drink and tap water, while everyone else was drinking a lot, and I didn't have pudding. Uncle just couldn't believe my share of the meal was right because it was the cheapest amount yet there were two starters!! His own dd had kept a written note of who owed what (!) and he said she must be wrong because STAR HAD TWO STARTERS.
The money we had for the bill was correct (we were doing the tip separately) but he insisted on getting the menu, cross checking it with the bill and getting the waiter to explain anything he didn't understand. I am sure he still thinks I somehow diddled him out of a couple of pounds!!

Twenty odd years ago. We have made excuses ever since.

The housemate who was incredulous that my two other housemates and I were not convinced by the idea of her moving her boyfriend in and him giving up his tenancy elsewhere. It was a cramped house as it was but the final straw was that she didn't expect him to contribute to any household bills because as a couple they should count as one!