Funny things - good and bad - you'd only know about if you're a parent: share with Arla Big Milk for a chance to win a £300 Love2Shop voucher - NOW CLOSED!

[AngelieMumsnet]

Parenting is a joyful, but occasionally exasperating experience, with pride and happiness frequently intermingled with tears, tantrums and toddler meltdowns.

Arla Big Milk have asked us to find out about your funny (even if only in retrospect!) 'Oh God' moments of parenting - here’s what they say:

"Being a parent comes with its ups and downs and getting your little one the nutrients they need isn’t always easy. That’s why Arla Big Milk has been developed to specifically meet the needs of growing children from ages one to five*, enriched with essential nutrients to help support children’s growth and development as part of their balanced diet and healthy lifestyle. Arla Big Milk ‘helping your little ones become big ones’."

So what snigger-worthy woes or wonders have you experienced as a parent? Has your newborn ever 'surprised' you with an unexpected and well-aimed wee? Perhaps your child has channelled their inner Picasso with crayon marks all over the wallpaper? Have you ever had to brave a completely irrational meltdown at the supermarket that (in hindsight ) makes you laugh? Whatever your stories are, Arla Big Milk would love to hear them.

Everyone who comments on this thread will be entered into a prize draw where one lucky Mumsnetter will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher!

Thanks and best of luck,

MNHQ

Standard Insight T&Cs apply

*The Department of Health recommends that children at the age of one move onto fresh whole cows’ milk and that their diets are supplemented with additional Vitamin, A, D and Iron

I have learned that:
*baking with a 2 year old is fun, but messy. Eggs when cracked directly onto the stone floor are impossible to clear up (top tip - salt)
*food becomes delicious and irresistible if served on the floor, the dirtier the better the same food if served on a plate will be dismissed out of hand.
*it is possible to get poop so far up the back of a nappy that it's in your hair - this is officially known as a poopplosion
*you can never have enough coffee, chocolate or baby wipes
*young toddlers mispronounce most things (in a very cute way) but swear once and they will repeat that perfectly, at volume, in company.
*there are worse things than standing on Lego, Olaf has a very pointy nose. Ouch.

When your child has constipation merely picking up the prescription is enough for their bowels to spring into action leaving you to throw yourself on the mercy of local shopkeepers as they are suddenly desperate to shed s weeks worth of poo.

my funniest parent moment was when we were in the co-op recently. my son is a big fan of the Minions and had recently seen the film. we were waiting in the queue to pay and there was a older man in front of us wearing a yellow t-shirt. At the top of his voice my son pointed and shouted MINION! Everyone in the queue and at the checkout laughed including the man in the yellow t-shirt

I learned that the days that you leave the house with several sets of spare clothing, wipes, spare nappies/pants, snacks, drinks and the kitchen sink you won't need any of it.

However the day that you dash out for a pint of milk with only your purse will be the day that your small person has a toileting accident/falls in a puddle/is sick or you get stuck in a traffic jam.

I've discovered that toddlers putting a bead so far up their nose that medical intervention is necessary doesn't just happen in cartoons.

My DD was 6 yrs old & had never heard a chinaman speak before. This caused me huge embarassment when the owner of our local Chinese/Chippy asked if we would like Salt & Vinegar on our Fish &Chips. I had to physically pick her up off of the floor to stop her laughing uncontrollably and leave very red in the face. Have not had Fish n chips for 2 yr now

my son loves taking things to bits with his mini screwdriver kit, one day when his Nana was looking after him, he took all her reading glasses (around 5 pairs -she has lots) he took off all of the arms, and replaced them all upside down. It wasn't until she tried a couple of pairs and could not get them on, she thought she was going mad! After the prank he kindly undid his mischief.............ingenuous, and harmless,and oh how we laughed!

One day we were on the bus, my four year old sat up the back and my three year old sat mid way with me. At one point she turned to her sister and shouted 'mom's bum was bleeding'. I had started my period that morning and youngest happened to stop by the bathroom but didn't announce it until we were on the fairly packed bus!

I've learnt that children are like tiny sponges, they remember the things you say and will repeat them.

A Dr on the children's ward said hello to my 3 year old the other day and asked how he was feeling, DS turned and put his hand to his brow and replied,

" Look, I'm really not in the mood for this, I didn't sleep well last night and I'm exhausted!"

It works for the good things though too, I've overheard him on the baby monitor whispering really cute things to his baby sister that he's heard me say, my favourite is,

"Close your tired eyes poppet, I got you, I won't let you go."

My son always caught people unawares when they gave him something or asked if he liked something. Instead of saying no, he always said, "I like that no"
They always puffed out with pleasure as they heard "I like that" but then deflated when they realised it ended with the word no

My son asked his Aunty are you getting changed into something smart for the wedding ? she already had her sunday best on

My sister and brother in law were hunting high and low for their keys. Two hours later, they finally discovered that my nephew had put them through the cat flap at the side of the house, along with the remote control and an assortment of other goodies!!

In a gite in France, our daughter put on a prolonged dance sequence for our video camera, which she could see our using from an upstairs window, What she couldn't see was a whole field of cows watching intently her every move!

Whilst round at a friends house my son had been rather quiet for too long. We went into the kitchen to find him sat on the floor with a pile of egg shells and a slimy mess stirring with a wooden spoon!

I took my 3 year old son to the doctors, we were in a busy waiting room when a folicly challenged man walked in and my son said, very loudly, "mum why has that man got no hair. " Needless to say i was very embarrassed but the man was fine about it and saw the funny side.

I have learnt that you can get away with saying all kinds of things and people laugh or snigger but IF I said half the things they come up with I would be in lots of hot water..... They tend to say things as it is. Their innocence at the time is a wonderful thing but can be embarrassing for us parents!

Over the years I have learned that:-
If you leave a pen or crayon lying around they will use it to draw on the walls, floors, tables etc.
You can buy them all the toys in the world and they will play find most enjoyment with a free toy or cardboard box.
Boys cannot wee in the toilet no matter how hard I have tried to train them and I have had 3 attempts, I spend my life wiping up wee!

My parents, sister & I took my nephew to Blackpool for the day, he was just turned 3 & had never been in the gents public toilets before so wanted to be a big boy just like his Grandad who he worshipped. When Dad came out in fits of laughter we all wondered what had happened. All had gone well, Paul had used the urinals but when his Grandad told him to wash his hands he bent down & washed them in the trough. Dad was horrified at first but after giving Paul's hands the best wash they'd ever had he saw the funny side

My daughter pulling my swimming costume down in a busy pool.

My son likes to shout 'mummy wee wee' or 'mummy go poo poo' when in a public toilet with me.

At my sons 1st ever Christmas play where he had a very important role as king we were so proud & excited and invited family from a far to come & see him. At his big moment to say the words we have practiced so much he stood there, finger up nose staring at the ceiling. The whole room was giggling & he was bemused as to why. When he realised he jumped to action :)

my 2 year old decided to colour in our wooden dining room sideboard in crayons, and not just one colour.

My daughter decided that her teddy looked a bit dry so covered him in a whole tub of Vaseline. He has been known as Vaseline bear ever since! After a trip to the washing machine he was actually a lot softer than he'd ever been!

I have learned to be very careful about what you say in front of a two year old. They will repeat some of your absent minded comments at the most perfectly timed moment to cause you the most embarrassment....
"No Nana I don't want to go in your car.....you are terrible driving"

Spending enough time with both kids! My wee boy has football classes a few times a week and it's hard to fit my wee girl into classes too and I feel like I'm leaving her out