How do you help teens with body confidence & social media? Share your tips for chance to win £300 NOW CLOSED

[AnnMumsnet]

As you may know the Dove Self-Esteem Project works to try and help "girls across the world overcome beauty related pressures, raise their self-esteem and in doing so, realise their full potential". They have lots of tips and advice around talking to teens about body confidence, especially in regards to social media. Now they want to hear your tips on talking to yours!

The team at the Dove Self-Esteem Project say that "1 in 2 girls say they are using social networks ‘all the time’, across an average of 4 different networks and taking 12 minutes at a time to prepare a selfie. The number of girls who say social networks make them feel worse about their appearance doubles between the age of 13yrs to 18yrs - 30% agree at 13yrs vs 60% at 18yrs".

The Dove Self-Esteem Project is campaigning to help young people find beauty confidence in themselves and realise the only like that counts is their own. Get involved using #NoLikesNeeded.

So, please share on this thread:

~ Your top tips for encouraging your teen, friend, relation or student to not rely on social media to boost their self-esteem
~ Any concerns you have about your teen's self-esteem - do you feel they are becoming dependent on social media to boost body confidence?
~ Any experiences of this issue
~ What does your teen teach you about social media and body confidence? Do you lead by example?
~ If your child is younger than a teen now, what advice do you think you would give about these issues when your child is older?

Add your comment to the thread and you'll be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 voucher for the store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck

Insight T&Cs apply

PS: we also asked 3 of our bloggers to blog about this topic:
You can read their posts here
#NoLikesNeeded

www.amothersramblings.com/2015/10/self-esteem-and-role-of-you-over-social.html
www.mummybarrow.com/no-likes-needed/
www.emmaand3.com/no-likes-needed-for-raising-confident-girls/

Grow confidence in a teen by showing a child that you yourself are more concerned with having a strong and healthy body, than a perfect looking figure.

Promote sport, healthy eating and self worth!

My teen dd is constantly on social media but seems to delight in uploading the most self-ridiculing pics of herself - and thankfully is aware enough of the power of make up and photoshop..

I "think" its a gradual process that starts from birth. Its values we manage to instill and images we manage to rebuff while they are growing up that will help them when they are teenagers to decide for themselves.

I think you need to encourage your teens to be individuals and not to be ashamed of being so, they can enjoy doing the same things as others as long as their strong enough to step away when things aren't right. Get them involved with activities that build their self-esteem.
I also check the sites that they like and the type of things their posting, we chat openly and I like to think they would come to be with any issues

By the time my DD is a teen I'd hope to have instilled in her a wariness of companies like Dove, whose sister company Lynx regularly objectifies women in its advertising. I'd hope for her to realise that her self worth shouldn't be tied to her appearance. I'd hope for her to be able to use social media to scope out groups who empower women and girls to be more than just a pretty face.

To be honest it's really hard. I have two teenage daughters and I hope I've done my best for them. This is what I've done so far, I just hope it's enough.

I've shown then how photos are changed by photoshopping and we have a laugh when out and about and we see posters that are badly photoshopped.

I also tell them they look gorgeous all the time and that they don't need makeup to look pretty, true beauty comes from within.

We have never had scales in the house, so they don't even know what they weigh.

I'm always careful not to put myself down in front of them, by saying things like, I wish I was thinner, taller or had better skin.

I do worry about what they see on social media, but the agreement on them opening these accounts was that I would also follow them, that way I can keep a little bit of an eye on what's going on.

I reassure that girls on TV and singers are all airbrushed and have a whole team of people who make them over for hours before they step out. Teens should love themselves for who they are and take good care of themselves.

If sexting is a real issue in schools. I'll teach my step children that technology makes pictures spread so rapidly and never share any poses even pouty ones that they don't want every teen in the area to see and comment on.

I do worry about this for my step daughter - I think she is a well balanced sensible girl, but social media is an enormous part of life now. I have tried to teach her about social media and that not everything needs to go on these site - and that life is more than how many 'likes' you get on a picture, that it doesn't define who you are or how well your are perceived.

Be open and honest with them so they are happy to discuss anything without fear or embarrasement. That way you can keep up to date with what is happening and make sure they are ok.

My daughter isn't quite a teen yet but I've noticed many girls in her class act older than her. She tells me what some of the girls are doing and I think she thinks she should be doing the same to fit in. I try to encourage her to talk to me about everything and she knows I will always listen and help her rather than judge or tell her off. This works for now and hopefully it will for the teen years too!

I've seen three of my nieces go through their teenage stage recently and they've all had problems at some point with social media. I helped them by being their friend on facebook and twitter to keep an eye on what was going on. I gave them encouragement and had some "girly time" whenever possible- we would hang out together whenever I was around their house and just having a chat with someone other than their parents helped I think.

I am concerned that they are constantly monitoring photos put on social media by themselves and their friends to the point of paranoia sometimes. They think that everyone can see if they've had a bad hair day or look silly in a photo and that they are being constantly judged. Similarly, there is a constant pressure on them to have photos of themselves up looking fantastic. There are virtually no spontaneous, "natural" photos posted.

They have taught me that it is a scary place, social media. It can make or break your day!

I have pre-teen daughters and it scares me that they will soon be exposed to this. My advice to them would be to stay off social media as long as possible. When they do join up, make sure they are only friends with their true friends, people they trust. Not to get hung up on what other people say or comment about their appearance- nobody is perfect!

Don't go on about your own issues. Moaning about your own weight or the fact you hate your hair will only make teens think more about their own appearance. Be happy with yourself and they'll see that looks don't matter so much. With regards to social media, I think it's important to remember that kids can be cruel for no reason. They soon move on to the next target!

It's important to start when they're young by boosting their self-esteem because when they reach their teens they listen to their friends more than their parents.

I think it is quite hard for teens nowadays with their self image. I noticed that my DS was becoming quite addicted to changing his style every week dependant upon what he was viewing on Facebook - so I have quite literally banned him from Facebook - which may sound harsh but is working.
My DD on the other hand is very comfortable in her own skin, with her own sense of style. She has her own FB account and laptop - yet it is linked into our accounts so we can be alerted of anything dodgy.

my eldest son was very aware that he was little but skinny and also had acne but with a bit of chatting about how we all go through stages that our bodies seem out of sync with our perceptions of what we should look like and showing him some photo's of his uncles and grand dad when they were young seemed to put things back into perspective
I also told him that keeping his personal hygiene up to scratch and also not putting on screwed up clothes would make him feel a lot better and also buying him some washes and creams for his acne would allow him to gain control over his body and therefore made him start liking himself
Over the summer holidays he suddenly grew to just over 6ft and was stunned when he saw some of his school friends and he was towering over them

I tell them that beauty is only skin deep and it is what is inside that really counts.

My teenage daughter was slightly overweight all through her teen years but nothing bad, I never mentioned it as I didn't want to upset her. As she got older she got a bit bigger and I could tell it upset her. I told her that I really wanted to join slimming world and asked if she would come with me to support me. Because she was there she learnt how to eat better and we had lots of fun trying different meals. After a few weeks she asked if she could join, we took up exercise together and the weight dropped off. We never put an emphasis on being 'skinny' it was always about being healthier, eating meals that are good for your body and feeling good about yourself. I think that people are so obsessed with not wanting their daughters to become obsessed with being thin that it can sometimes go the opposite direction like it did with me and my daughter. I also convinced her to go to the doctors for her skin and to get a brace. I know it should be what's on the inside that counts but every girl wants to feel beautiful. And I did everything could to help her feel it. She feels so much better about herself now, has lots of confidence and thanks me for making her do those things. I really can see the difference in her, she loves girly clothes and has really blossomed into a happy healthy girl. Xx

Education around this needs to begin waaaaaaay before teens. 9-10 year olds are highly conscious of image. The groundwork can begin even with real littlies, 4, 5 year olds, for example by playing 'spot the happiest person' in a selection of images taken from magazines/papers/online. Or bravest/funniest/kindest/insert any other positive-value character adjective. Develop a dialogue around this that doesn't place value upon 'prettiest'.

I would explain that many of the images that are seem on social media aren't actually real to life. I would show them some of the 'mistakes' that have been made when people have tried to photo shop their own imagines so they know that what they are seeing can often be fake.

Be a good role model. Your teen does notice.

Your teen daughter/son is closely observing your lifestyle, eating habits, and attitudes about issues like appearance and weight, even if they seemto cringe every time you speak. Pay attention to the example you are setting, and make changes if you don't like what you see. Looking at yourself through your children's eyes can be a great motivator to begin an exercise program, adopt a healthier diet, or turn off the television and get moving instead.

Teenagers, both girls and boys need to know that magazines and images within them are more often than not massively edited and photoshopped to the extreme. These pictures often portray an image to teens that then come across as 'ideal' because they can be really easily influenced at that age. I have witnessed anorexia first hand through my own friends and some of my children's friends and I do believe that these images contribute towards this. It's important to constantly reassure your children that they are perfect the way they are- this in itself gives them the boost of self esteem that they need.

The media needs to stop showing pictures of super skinny models in all teen magazines. as someone who is of a plus size figure and has been a result of bullying due to it I have massive self confidence but many people have told me not to worry as its the beauty that comes from inside that counts

I think the media and other people should be taught that everyone is beautiful no matter what size they are