How do you help teens with body confidence & social media? Share your tips for chance to win £300 NOW CLOSED

[AnnMumsnet]

As you may know the Dove Self-Esteem Project works to try and help "girls across the world overcome beauty related pressures, raise their self-esteem and in doing so, realise their full potential". They have lots of tips and advice around talking to teens about body confidence, especially in regards to social media. Now they want to hear your tips on talking to yours!

The team at the Dove Self-Esteem Project say that "1 in 2 girls say they are using social networks ‘all the time’, across an average of 4 different networks and taking 12 minutes at a time to prepare a selfie. The number of girls who say social networks make them feel worse about their appearance doubles between the age of 13yrs to 18yrs - 30% agree at 13yrs vs 60% at 18yrs".

The Dove Self-Esteem Project is campaigning to help young people find beauty confidence in themselves and realise the only like that counts is their own. Get involved using #NoLikesNeeded.

So, please share on this thread:

~ Your top tips for encouraging your teen, friend, relation or student to not rely on social media to boost their self-esteem
~ Any concerns you have about your teen's self-esteem - do you feel they are becoming dependent on social media to boost body confidence?
~ Any experiences of this issue
~ What does your teen teach you about social media and body confidence? Do you lead by example?
~ If your child is younger than a teen now, what advice do you think you would give about these issues when your child is older?

Add your comment to the thread and you'll be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 voucher for the store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck

Insight T&Cs apply

PS: we also asked 3 of our bloggers to blog about this topic:
You can read their posts here
#NoLikesNeeded

www.amothersramblings.com/2015/10/self-esteem-and-role-of-you-over-social.html
www.mummybarrow.com/no-likes-needed/
www.emmaand3.com/no-likes-needed-for-raising-confident-girls/

Praise as much as possible to boost confidence. Try and avoid social media, luckily my daughter is not a follower, she is very confident and is more of a leader and doesn't care that much what people think. Her life is busy with lots of sport and activities, let's hope it stays that way. My husband and I don't do any social media so we're hopefully being good role models to our kids.

Its important to remind teens of the true values of life, such as honesty and kindness, life is much more than just the face values of beauty. If you've brought them up to believe in themselves, you will have a good foundation on which to build reassurance at a time of change

If you show them every day that you are body confident, and tell them they look beautiful/handsome all the time! Also never criticise somebody else for the way they look!

I think it's wise to take everything you see on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter with a pinch of salt - certainly the posed pictures. Some folk take a LONG time honing those looks & it all becomes a bit of a game. Often you can see a pic on someone online & they look ridiculously perfect - you meet them in person & you see they are normal - real, beautful as we all are in our own way - but a photo is just a snapshot in time & it's really not that important. I grew up in the Myspace generation & would often post photos I had spent hours posing for & await picture comments to confirm to me that I was ok, I was accepted, I looked alright - it's laughable now, what a waste of time. Looks really don't last long - it's who you are that's important, how you treat people, that you listen, see, hear & be present in the moment.
I don't use social media at all now, although I used to often - it affected my confidence negatively & I now don't miss it at all - but it was easier for me to make that change as I was out of my teens & had no peer pressure.
I would encourage my child to pursue other interests - crafts, sports, yoga,etc - activities to build self-esteem, inspire confidence & appreciate your body & what it can do.
I like the idea I read above from madwomanbackintheattice which talks about how her daughters use comedy pictures in their social media profiles - fab idea!

My DDs are still young, but I really worry about the effect social media and the infuences of their peer group will have on their self-esteem. I think it is important for me to be a good role model for them, to encourage them to have self-confidence and think independently, rather than follow a crowd or trend. I will try to educate them about the manipulation in the media regarding body image (airbrushed images etc) and will also try to ensure they have a balanced view of the world around them.

You've got to start early - way before they are teens. Lots of confidence-building activities like drama club and sports. Keep communication open with them and make your compliments about their achievements rather than their looks. And above all, educate and politicize them about the advertising industry. Demonstrate and point out all the ways in which women are made to feel bad about themselves by the same people who then sell a solution.

My eldest is 12 and I wont let him have Face book like this friends as Bullying online is really bad at the moment in his school, I also always tell him how wonderful he is and well he is always doing in things. I think its so important for child to have confidence x

I always make people watch how technology can be used to give a false image of someone and what we deem 'beautiful' has actually just been created through. I really try to push the whole 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'. In any case, people only put up pictures of themselves where they think they look nice otherwise they wouldn't put it up at all. Therefore, there are rarely any 'real' pictures of people up. I try to make this clear as much as I can. Regarding body issues, then I think that's more serious and we watch several programs about this.

I think limiting the time on social media is important but ultimately body confidence has to be taught from an early age through praise and a healthy lifestyle, along with an understanding that negativity on social media is someone elses problem and not theirs, rise above it etc.

It's a tough one. Even though my nephew isn't on any social media the pressure to measure up permeates everything in his and his friends' lives. He has recently suffered some bouts of depression that seem to be caused by being too hard on himself. Watching from my vantage point it seems like his parents did all the 'right' things - encouraging sports and a love of the outdoors, letting him explore and chose activities that he could get passionate about, allowing him to fail but supporting him in trying again, etc. I wish I knew the answers and how best to support my nephew and, eventually, my DC when they are teens.

Try to explain that people come in many body shapes and sizes and TV and social media do not reflect reality.

Set a good example my not openly criticising yourself, eg your weight etc, in front of them.

There are lots of good books available that can be given to DCs, let them work through at their own pace rather than having full on discussions that they may not feel comfortable with.

Yikes! Lots to think about in the years ahead for my DD & DS. I will encourage both my kids to embrace who they are, and explain that although they may want to be like a certain celebrity it does not mean they are happy or satisfied.

I'll also encourage plenty of sport and activities and hopefully they will see that these are the people they should be emulating (well that's the plan!)

Being a teenager can be a horrible time for some especially when it comes to confidence about their appearance. I have a teenager who right now is going through a lot of changes and over the past year was feeling really anxious about her appearance. She was always comparing herself to her friends and had quite low self esteem.

I really believe it helps to remember to take their worries seriously even if they have no real basis in fact. Take time out regularly to chat and make sure they're aware that most images in magazines are airbrushed. I have often shown an airbrushed picture in a magazine and then a picture online of that same celeb out and about doing their shopping or something without makeup or the help of a team of people. The reality of the comparison has really helped show my daughter that the perfection shown in some pictures is simply not real.

You can help build confidence and self esteem by giving them positive feedback about their body, skills, and abilities.

With social media there are lots of things you can do to keep your teen safe and happy. I'm pretty intense when it comes to my daughter and her social media access. Always make sure that their privacy settings are set to limit access to who can see their online profile. Friends only is best. Make sure only friends can view her friend list in order to protect other teens on that list. Make sure no personal identity such as address and telephone number is publicly visible and explain why they need to do that. Another really important thing is posting photographs. Ensure they take a long hard think about any photo published because once its out there its for good. Lastly and most important of all is to drill into your teen that if anyone approaches them online in an innappropriate way that they tell you immediately.

Give them positive feedback about all aspects of their personality and abilities not just looks. Lead by example if your dc grow up watching you obsess about your hair, body, wrinkles etc. and putting yourself down then they will think it is normal to do so.

My son had a confidence problem which was exacerbated by social media. This is what happened and how I handled it.

In one day my son got caught smoking, drinking, skiving school and graffiti-ing. There were also rumours on social media that he was self harming. This was a total shock to us as parents, it seemed to come from nowhere so I needed to find out what was really going on.

It turned out that my son, age 13 and too honest for his own good, had decided that he was ugly and would never be anything but ugly. He was comparing himself to the images online of the famous and his peers. I needed him to look, to look beyond the perfect images and really look at what was going on so I started by showing him pictures of stars before they were famous. You can find all these online, they had big ears and noses, bad haircuts, spotty skin, ill fitting clothes, huge teeth. As I showed him I explained that when kids are little they are cute, with their little cute noses and their soft perfect skin but as they grow their bodies and faces grow at different rates and that's why some of these pictures that I was showing him looked so odd. I pointed out that grown men would look daft with little button noses so they had to grow at some point. I also pointed out that these were taken before photo editing software was available so these were real photos. I then took a picture of me, it was bad, my skin looked grey, I was without makeup, I looked tired and and my hair wasn't styled. I zoomed in, tilted the angle, added a few filters and before his eyes I had become beautiful. My picture was arty with the jaunty angle and my skin looked perfect, my eyes were bright blue and they twinkled. I told him that this is the picture I would rather show the world and then, at that moment he understood.

My son never complained about his looks again and if anyone ever said anything to him he just told them that he was work in progress.

I don't have teens at the moment but with three girls (8, 6 and 4) I'm expecting some trouble ahead. I'm not scared though - I know that I'm giving them confidence in themselves and that they'll have each other and me to rely on when things get tough xxx

Play about with Photoshop to show how unrealistic the model photographs are

teach them to ignore what people say if it is hurtful or derogatory BEFORE they hit their teens so that they are already well equipped to take down internet trolls

Social media is evermore prevalent in modern society. Within the teenage generation it can do great damage to self-esteem, especially as celebrity endorsement is so integrated into the medium.

Having been a teenager before social media was ever around (catching the tail end of that era of my life with 'Myspace'), its hard to understand the difference between how I felt back then with self-esteem issues compared to a teenager now. I would however advise teenagers to avoid taking selfies (therefore eliminating incriminating comments, lack of 'likes' etc) which will take the pressure off body image and low self-esteem.

I don't personally have a teenager living in the house, but do have nieces ad nephews who use Facebook through posting selfies or worrying statuses indicating potential self-esteem issue (albeit normal teenage worries elevated by the ability to express opinions on social media platforms).

When my children are teenagers, I wonder how social media will have evolved by that point. I would advise them to be comfortable in their own skin and never to compare themselves to other people. However I realise that often self-esteem issues are part of being a teenager and therefore little can be done.

I remind them not to send a picture that they wouldn't want strangers to see

My daughter won't be at that age for a long time, but a do worry about how she will cope with it. I try to praise her regularly for achievement, effort and improvement to (hopefully) in still in her that these are more important than how pretty she is.

My ds is not a teen but when the time comes I'll be sure to show her all the before and after photoshop images available on google

Dd even

Be true to yourself
You are always beautiful in my eyes
Don't try to be something you aren't.
My DD is 11, coming up 12 & I do all I can to encourage her to be herself & be happy in her own skin. I've had esteem issues & I definitely don't want to pass them on!!!