How do you help teens with body confidence & social media? Share your tips for chance to win £300 NOW CLOSED

[AnnMumsnet]

As you may know the Dove Self-Esteem Project works to try and help "girls across the world overcome beauty related pressures, raise their self-esteem and in doing so, realise their full potential". They have lots of tips and advice around talking to teens about body confidence, especially in regards to social media. Now they want to hear your tips on talking to yours!

The team at the Dove Self-Esteem Project say that "1 in 2 girls say they are using social networks ‘all the time’, across an average of 4 different networks and taking 12 minutes at a time to prepare a selfie. The number of girls who say social networks make them feel worse about their appearance doubles between the age of 13yrs to 18yrs - 30% agree at 13yrs vs 60% at 18yrs".

The Dove Self-Esteem Project is campaigning to help young people find beauty confidence in themselves and realise the only like that counts is their own. Get involved using #NoLikesNeeded.

So, please share on this thread:

~ Your top tips for encouraging your teen, friend, relation or student to not rely on social media to boost their self-esteem
~ Any concerns you have about your teen's self-esteem - do you feel they are becoming dependent on social media to boost body confidence?
~ Any experiences of this issue
~ What does your teen teach you about social media and body confidence? Do you lead by example?
~ If your child is younger than a teen now, what advice do you think you would give about these issues when your child is older?

Add your comment to the thread and you'll be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 voucher for the store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck

Insight T&Cs apply

PS: we also asked 3 of our bloggers to blog about this topic:
You can read their posts here
#NoLikesNeeded

www.amothersramblings.com/2015/10/self-esteem-and-role-of-you-over-social.html
www.mummybarrow.com/no-likes-needed/
www.emmaand3.com/no-likes-needed-for-raising-confident-girls/

tell them celebs look good because they have a professional stylist, make up artist and hairdresser everyday. they look like everyone else without it

My daughter is 11 and though she has a mobile phone (as she travels quite a distance to high school and her father and I have shared custody) she really isn't interested in using it for more than messages.

I have kept her quite 'young'. I never want her to be picked on or bullied for this - outside of the house she is like any other pre-teen but she is still unsure about whether Father Christmas exists for example (though she would never ask her friends) and she still calls me 'Mummy' at home. I don't think there is anything wrong with this. Once childhood is over, it is over and it can't be brought back. On the other hand she is very savvy and intelligent - she doesn't act like a baby - she is quite articulate.

To keep my daughter as happy and safe as possible she doesn't read magazines or go on social media sites (such as Facebook) that she is not old enough to access. We don't discuss weight, I just quietly regulate her diet (and I use that word as the food she eats as opposed to a formal 'regime'). She knows she can talk to me about anything but right now, I talk to her as the 11 year old that I was back in the 80s where I don't remember anyone discussing weight or even really looks. Going forward I will just always be available for her to talk to.

My nieces are pre teens and I am scared for them I am desperately trying to teach them that beauty is on the inside as well.

The lovely Roald Dahl quote about how sunbeams shine out of your face if you are a lovely person.

Give genuine compliments about their natural beauty, as well as frequent compliments regarding their work, actions and personality traits. Never criticize.

Make them aware that we are all different shapes and sizes and there is no pressure on anyone to be a certain body type. You are what you are. Also the images they see on the media are airbrushed and photoshopped. A good positive attitude gains more respect than the "perfect" body.

I was shocked to see my young niece on instagram doing posed selfies of herself - she isn't even secondary school age and it just saddened me that the social media stuff starts so young.

I tried not to overreact (after all Im guilty on living on social media a lot) but I hope that by valuing her and focusing on all her amazing talents and interests that she will realise herself that is more important than social media likes.

I actually felt really proud of my other niece (who is model-like in how she looks) actually coming off social media when she didn't like the attention she got and she has stayed off since.

I guess part of it is teaching all kids and young people to use the internet and social media safely and responsibly and encouraging them to develop their self-esteem in other ways is part of that.

This is not something that has ever been a problem that I have needed to address with my two. Perhaps I am just lucky in that respect. (Mind you, we have had other problems to contend with)

PLEASE STOP TELLING SLIM WOMEN THEY'RE NOT "REAL WOMEN".

We never had social media when I was younger and I feel my teenage daughter spends far too much time concerned with other peoples lives and is always comparing herself to others, the media is full of unrealistic size role models and I try my best to emphasize that It's what's inside that counts more than whats on the outside I just want to encourage her to get out there and live life to the fullest, and the best way to do so is to do that myself.

My mum told me I looked chubby in a pair of jeans when I was thirteen, she has no recollection of this fact as it was a throw away comment to her. For me it was the start of years of diets, starvation, bulimia and anorexia. It went on through my teens, early twenties, even my first pregnancy. I slowly got better once my oldest daughter was born.
I made a pact to instil confidence I my daughter and wanted to lead by example. I have two daughters, one 22 and one 18, they have confidence and are so self- assured. I've always told them they are beautiful inside and out. They are kind and thoughtful but take rubbish from no-one and I like to think I have helped them just a little but to get where they are today.
You owe it to your children to empower them to think that they deserve respect and they should never think they are second best or not quite good enough.
Instilling confidence in my girls has helped me gain confidence in myself. I don't doubt myself anymore and I think that I actually scrub up quite well
I wish I'd gained it while I was still young but then it's never too late to realise that you're ok.

always make positive comments to them to boost confidence and be a good role model

We've always taught are daughter to be happy with herself and not to listen to other people. I tell her that we are all different and it's about what is on the inside just as much as the outside.
We have always been very open with her and have talked about the changing body and the things that come with this even before she was experiencing them as a way to get her to realise that this would be happening. That way she knows she can come to us about any issues if and when they happen.
Whilst we speak openly the issue of social media is something that can't be fully controlled. Often she will delete a photo because she doesn't like the way she is smiling or her hair etc but through life most of us would rather forget a photo we have . It's about choosing wisely as social media is there for all to see and judge.
We will often say judge others how you would want to be judged , do not listen to everything other people say, never follow a crowd, make your own decisions, be happy with yourself and it's good to be and do different things to other people.

I think boys can have just as many self-esteem issues as girls have and I have always done everything I can to assure my sons that they are clever, kind and thoughtful. I also tell them how handsome they are, but that their good looks aren't as important as their other great qualities.

I think this should start from a young age by trying to instill confidence and self esteem by celebrating their achievements and successes. It also helps to keep reiterating to teens that a lot of the images of celebrities are photo shopped and are not true to real life

Act as a role model and don't make comments about your own weight or diet. Keep an eye on the content of their social media too.

I really can wait for this one!! My boys are only 8 and 6. We have had a few confidence issues already with the eldest- my teeth look wonky, my ears stick out. Neither of which are true.
I try and instill how amazing they are and I think overall they are very happy, confident boys with good friends.
I'm not overly sure how to approach this as they grow older but they have smart heads on their shoulders.

I make sure that I praise my children for the things that they do well, not for the way that they look. It is also important that I am a good role model in terms of my body image. They see me taking care of myself by exercising regularly and eating a balanced diet (with treats occasionally) and I am not concerned about my weight. I tell them specifically what they do that makes me proud. I don't think we can fully protect our children from outside influences but if we build their self esteem in other ways then they should be able to cope.

I only have boys and (so far) they don't seem to be too hung up on image. One thing I have noticed, particularly among my 11 year old son's female peers, is that they are constantly posting pouty selfies on Instagram, Snapchat etc, and I find this a little disconcerting as their expressions often seem overtly sexual. I accept that this is becoming the norm in our society now, but I do wish sometimes that they would find other ways to feel good about themselves rather than just gleaning the most "likes" possible on social media! It seems the only way to be praised or accepted these days is to look sexy! :(

I think if you can get your child to talk to you about things from an early age and then carry that through to their teens it makes approaching these types of sujects much easier. Talking through their concerns in the open and being as honest as you can about things can really get them to open up.

I have 3 teenage girls who are always concerned about their body image. They wear make-up to cover spots, spend hours tying their hair to be just right and 2 of the girls are twins they have to look different to each other as they are non-identical.

I am not a name brand happy parent and have shown them that you can look good in cheaper alternatives and they of course can buy 2 pairs in Primark for the price of 1 pair in Top Shop and as they are still growing they see the benefits of this. I am not a dieter either and try to maintain a slimmer figure with regular activities like martial arts training, walking the dog etc and also eating a healthier diet with plenty of fruit and vegetables.

I have also told them that social media if used for the right reasons is a great tool, however, girls who feel they have to show they are popular by surrounding themselves with 'friends' are the girls with the image problems. They also listen to the news about celebrities with health issues caused by low self esteem and realise that being themselves is best.

My daughters have all at some point been less confident about there looks, bodies and shape. There is to much pressure on them to look like the unrealistic people on TV. I have taught my children up to love themselves never judge people by their looks, and be unique, different. Who wants to be like everyone else.

We've always valued attitudes and behaviours above looks, but even so, children very much want to fit in with their friends and "Do the right thing."
I'd say to communicate, talk, discuss and share without passing judgement.
Thankfully there was no social media in my day, but the pressures were still there!

Educate by showing teenagers healthy body shapes and talking to teens about their bodies

just explain to young impessionable girls tht so many photos are photoshoped. They are beautiful and dont need to live up to unreal and unbelivable expectations!