How do you help teens with body confidence & social media? Share your tips for chance to win £300 NOW CLOSED

[AnnMumsnet]

As you may know the Dove Self-Esteem Project works to try and help "girls across the world overcome beauty related pressures, raise their self-esteem and in doing so, realise their full potential". They have lots of tips and advice around talking to teens about body confidence, especially in regards to social media. Now they want to hear your tips on talking to yours!

The team at the Dove Self-Esteem Project say that "1 in 2 girls say they are using social networks ‘all the time’, across an average of 4 different networks and taking 12 minutes at a time to prepare a selfie. The number of girls who say social networks make them feel worse about their appearance doubles between the age of 13yrs to 18yrs - 30% agree at 13yrs vs 60% at 18yrs".

The Dove Self-Esteem Project is campaigning to help young people find beauty confidence in themselves and realise the only like that counts is their own. Get involved using #NoLikesNeeded.

So, please share on this thread:

~ Your top tips for encouraging your teen, friend, relation or student to not rely on social media to boost their self-esteem
~ Any concerns you have about your teen's self-esteem - do you feel they are becoming dependent on social media to boost body confidence?
~ Any experiences of this issue
~ What does your teen teach you about social media and body confidence? Do you lead by example?
~ If your child is younger than a teen now, what advice do you think you would give about these issues when your child is older?

Add your comment to the thread and you'll be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 voucher for the store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck

Insight T&Cs apply

PS: we also asked 3 of our bloggers to blog about this topic:
You can read their posts here
#NoLikesNeeded

www.amothersramblings.com/2015/10/self-esteem-and-role-of-you-over-social.html
www.mummybarrow.com/no-likes-needed/
www.emmaand3.com/no-likes-needed-for-raising-confident-girls/

Anyway, I have two fantastic teens, a boy and a girl. They both generally seem to have pretty good self esteem. They both have crisis every now and then, which I think is fairly normal for teenagers. dd uses social media a fair bit, but doesn't really post selfies (she has eight pictures of herself on facebook this year, showing off among other things her new glasses, great blue hair and new braces) she mostly reposts things she thinks are cool or funny. ds isn't on social media but he is online a huge amount playing strategy games.

I tell them both they are wonderful on a regular basis, because they are. Apart from poking them when their hair gets a bit greasy I don't provide fashion tips.

Celebrity wise, dd tells me she'd like to be Captain America. She's not really into celebrity culture!

I agree with Nooka.
As I read the OP, I was wincing at phrases such as "overcome beauty related pressures" and "to help young people find beauty confidence in themselves"

My dc aren't reliant on what they look like to make an impression / have confidence.

It starts from when they are tiny - you encourage them to make decisions, to learn from mistakes, to balance not wanting to hurt other people's feelings or upset people with standing up for what they think is right. You teach them it's fine to hold a different opinion from someone else, and that you can do that and still get along just fine. You teach them there are times it's respectful to 'conform' to expectations to do with clothes / hairstyles etc, and other times it's good to experiment a bit. You teach them it's OK to make mistakes. You teach them it's OK to laugh at themselves. You encourage them to have interests / hobbies / things that fill their time, and allow them to spend time with all sorts of other people so they aren't reliant on a small band of people for friends. You encourage them to achieve in all sorts of ways and let them know everyone has value and it's not nothing to do with what you look like.
As their bodies develop, you guide and encourage them to find clothes they like, that suit them, and they feel comfortable in.

By having control and access to what they watch, read and listen to! Obviously there is a limit and you cannot hide every platform but by discouraging teens looking up to airbrushed, super thin, celebs as well as being a good role model and encouraging positive body esteem, a healthy and active lifestyle and just how worthy they are just as theirselves, you are already half way there!!

I would explain that there are different body shapes and no matter how hard you try, you cannot change that. If you try to copy models you could become ill because your body shape will not allow you to be that thin and at the same time, it is more attractive and less false to be yourself!

Lead by example by being accepting of people of all different sizes, colours, etc. Teach them to appreciate what their bodies can do via physical activities. Talk openly about issues that arise. Teach them to take care of their bodies.

Tell them not to copy others and be themselves also that a lot of pictures in the media are trick photography or have been air brushed to make them look perfect so don't believe it!

I explained to our eldest daughter that people who criticize others, especially on social media are just really insecure so they put others down to feel better about themselves. This stood her well and totally ignored these types and made friends with nicer people within her peer group.

Most teens are aware that all publicity shots are enhanced, almost to a point where they bear little resemblance to the original subject. I always point this out to the teens that I work with-it's a good 'starting point' for discussing this issue.

By far the most important thing is to control their eating and lifestyle habits from an early age, influencing their later choices. Encourage them to be themselves and have self-respect and independence - also to share their problems.

I do worry for my niece because it has never been more of a judgemental society as it is now. Social media can be very harsh. I try to discourage her from paying much attention to negative comments about her image - particularly when posted online. They are just jealous cowardicesl

I think there are so many influences on TV, Magazines and the internet that give a very false impression as to what a teenager should strive to be. Peers are also incredibly influential, this can be a positive thing, but of course it can also be the opposite. All you can do is support your child and help build and nurture their confidence and look out for any signs that they are unhappy.

We discuss how a capitalist society wishes to make people feel insecure and to desire the unobtainable through advertising and that their sole objective is to make money out of you. People then accept the desired images and judge each other against them. My kids have been taught to challenge all belief systems. I have tried to have discussions/debates with their friends so that they can all try and resist some of the pressures

My DD is not a teen yet but I do worry about this.I would most likely post a thread on this as I would be keen to learn about others' experiences and what has worked or not worked. Of course as all children are different and there is no universal approach.

Just remind them that they should always believe in themselves.

Build her self confidence by praising not criticising.

I have always made sure I have time to listen to what might seem the most tiniest of concerns and offer advice where I can. Being supportive and knowing there is someone to turn to who will listen is invaluable in my mind.

Talking openly to your children is so important. They need to know the difference between social media and real life!

I think self esteem in teenage girls is incredibly important & it's very difficult to manage & nurture when social media & magazines & tv dominate their lives telling them different things.

I find I have to lead by example & emphasise I'm comfortable in my body & I don't need magazines to tell me how to dress. Also to encourage her to speak out & give her opinion to encourage confidence.

Social media can make things worse in my opinion with the speed & coverage at which pictures, gossip & opinion can be exchanged. Teenagers feel compelled to keep up with trends to fit in, it's relentless.

I tell my son to keep fit and healthy. Everyone is different but if he keeps eating the right foods he we live a healthy and long life.He's always been way ahead of his peers because he so tall, he spent the early years of his life swimming so is used to keeping fit.

We never treated them as kids. For instance, if they wanted to win a game, they had to beat us. They were both bright, so they realised this, and the pleasure of finally doing it was worth the wait, I'm sure. We visited castles and museums (and theme parks) when we went out, and we genuinely never thought of them as anything other than small adults. And as for social media, they both never had any problems with computers and how to deal with them and other users. If they had had any problems, we were always there for them.

It would help if mixed messages weren't sent out by schools - my nearly 15 year old dd attended an assembly (by a third party, brought in to encourage body confidence) which explained that models only looked good because of air-brushing.... or at least, that's how my dd interpreted it.

A few weeks later, and it's school photograph time (obviously again a third party). The photographed was air-brushed to the nth degree. My dd lost her freckles, and a long scar down the middle of her forehead. She was extremely annoyed as she considers both her freckles and her scar are part of who she is.

I like to show images of non photo shopped celebrities to demonstrate that the pictures shown are not reality.
It is important to me that my child feels that beauty comes from the inside, not just for them, but for others too.
Whenever I see things that I disagree with, such as spiteful comments, I always encourage my child to put themselves in the victims shoes & imagine how they must feel. I feel it has worked in all manner of situations & my child is very thoughtful towards other people & their feelings

I tell them they are beautiful
I tell them not all you read in the press or social media is true - 99 per cent is made up
I tell them that they have the power to turn off their phone or computer

Im forever telling my 14 daughter that she is beautiful, i go out my way to find picture of celebs with out makeup & get her to watch you tuber make up video's to show her that it only make up & they are normal poeple to i remind her that with out the hair & make plus there personal trainer they would just be like us normal people, She has body isssues but that is normal for women to have them which i remind her all the time.

Teach them that beauty is only skin deep & that true beauty comes from within. With regards to social media make sure they don't accept any friend requests from people they don't know