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MN Bumpfest: How did you feel about giving birth? Tell MNHQ for a chance to win £50 voucher! NOW CLOSED

175 replies

MichelleMumsnet · 03/09/2014 11:37

In the run-up to Bumpfest - our event for first-time mums (or second/third/fourth-timers in need of a refresher) - we thought we’d try to find out about how labour was for you.

Giving birth can be an extremely unpredictable affair, and as a result it’s shrouded in myth and mystery. If you’re soon to be doing it for the first time, trying to get a sense of what to expect can be nigh-on impossible - which is why we’d like to hear the truth of the matter, directly from the front line. How did you really feel, when you were in labour - and was the experience, for you, an empowering or disempowering one? Did you feel you were involved in the decisions made by the midwives and doctors? If not, was this because medial priorities took over - or did you feel you were unnecessarily kept out of the loop? Did your birth partner act as your advocate throughout the process - or did you do it all yourself? In short: how was it for you?

Thanks in advance - we hope it’ll help those about to go through it themselves to have a realistic picture of what to expect. Everyone who adds their thoughts to this thread will be entered into a prize draw to win a £50 John Lewis voucher.

Flowers MNHQ

P.S. If you'd like to find out more about Bumpfest, please click here.

OP posts:
jdunthorne · 21/09/2014 11:44

Nervous and elated! Three very different birth stories for three very different babies! All worth it though xx

happysouls · 21/09/2014 14:02

I dreaded it, I found out the basics of what I needed to know and then buried my head in the sand the rest of the time. I got through it, it was horrible, I never did it again! hahaha!

cluckyhen · 21/09/2014 14:53

First time anxious and shattered, especially as it took 3 days! Second time I didn't have time to feel anything - from start to finish it was less than 5 mins!

Kangakate · 21/09/2014 15:41

I haven't had my first yet and I'm worried about the pain, everyone says that epidural's are great, but I'm afraid of needles, I can't even watch them on tv and the thought of a needle in my spine makes me physically sick!

kimnews · 21/09/2014 15:52

My baby was breech so I had a planned csection. I felt like I'd dodged a bullet! Though I would like to try labour naturally next time.

sofieellis · 21/09/2014 16:15

I had a very difficult pregnancy with my twins DS1 and DS2. I had lots of scares and was confined to bed a lot and eventually hospitalised duing the week and allowed home at weekends. . I was warned that I was at high risk of a premature birth. The SCBU staff were fabulous and gave me a tour of the facilities before I gave birth, so I would know what to expect. This was incredible helpful in allaying my fears.

I had returned to hospital on the Monday morning that I was 33 weeks pregnant, and after routine examinations was told I was in labour. Despite huge, strong contraction, my cervix didn't dilate past 2cm, so after my boys' heartbeats beagn to dip drastically after each contraction, they were born by emergency c-section and after very brief cuddles, were whisked away to SCBU. They are now very healthy young men.

With DS3 I went full term, which was a relief, but again after going into labour and having my waters broken, I still didn't dilate properly. I knew I would need more help, but the midwives and doctors wanted to leave me to progress naturally. Eventually, he too became distressed and his heart beat fell with each contraction. This time they gave me another drug ( I have no idea what) to speed up dilation, This worked rapidly and he was born vaginally. I tore very badly during the birth and lost a lot of blood. They stitched me for a whole hour. I had to have surgery a few months later to repair some of the scar tissue from the stitching.

I'm very glad I won't be doing any of it again, but it was worth it all, to have my three wonderful boys :)

farhanac · 21/09/2014 18:11

Somewhat pensive

redstararnie76 · 21/09/2014 18:49

Scared stiff to begin with, and then high as a kite later!
I think I avoided thinking about the whole labour bit beforehand, and then I woke up early one morning with my waters gone.

It all started well, but then apparently I progressed backwards, and things got a little stressful, and the baby got distressed, so I had to have a c-section. My husband found the whole thing worse than I did, and had to leave the room several times, but my Mum was fantastic :-)

Blondiemama · 21/09/2014 19:05

I was terrified about giving birth but when I went into labour I felt surprisingly calm. Contractions started on Thursday lunchtime and gradually built up. I was lucky that my MW was lovely and came to my house on Friday morning and confirmed everything had started, I managed to stay at home until 8pm and then went to hospital to find I was 6cm dilated. So far so good. I went in the birthing pool, had a cup of tea and some haribo and was thoroughly enjoying the gas and air and I told DH and MW that I had the urge to push, I was calm and weirdly enjoying the experience. Then another MW came on shift and it all went downhill, I was pulled out of the pool to be examined and I was told that my waters needed to be broken but they couldn't do it. By the third attempt I was screaming and almost incoherent so my DH stepped in and demanded an epidural on my behalf (this was a prearranged plan and he stuck to it!) after much wrangling I got the epidural but too late for it to kick in and out came DS 10 minutes later. It all happened so quickly that I had a nasty third degree tear and got taken off to theatre for a couple of hours after a quick cuddle with my baby.

I still feel angry about what happened and I'm still upset that I wasn't allowed to go with my instincts as I feel in was ready to give birth and I wouldn't have had the complications.

sarah3875 · 21/09/2014 19:06

I'm very good at bottling things and not thinking about them. So that is exactly what I did until I really had to!

kerryv · 21/09/2014 19:52

Apprehensive!

claza93 · 21/09/2014 20:15

Fast and furious but very glad that I wasn't in labour for long. After nearly having the last one in the car I wont be going through it all again

helenthemadex · 21/09/2014 20:33

with my first (25 now) I felt very anxious and totally out of control, probably because I was quite young, with my fifth (10 now) I felt very much in control very calm it was totally different

cathyov · 21/09/2014 20:34

First time around I was very apprehensive. Second time round I felt more in control even though I had a harder time. Third time round (yes I did it again so I cannot be feeling too bad about it!) I was excited!

AutumnElla · 21/09/2014 20:44

I was terrified, especially about pushing. I just couldn't imagine being able to push for 20 minutes or more. In reality for me it was nothing to worry about, it took 3 pushes and 7 minutes.

JoJoBaldwin · 21/09/2014 20:59

Absolutely nothing prepared me for the pain of contractions - perhaps because of being induced they started very full on and with no space between them. My daughter was leaning on my spine which made things more painful so I was given an epidural. Oh my gosh, the relief when the pain went! I was euphoric and just wanted to kiss the inventor of the epidural!
I was in labour around 9 hours and just at the point at which I thought I could push no longer, out she popped. I still remember looking into her bright blue eyes for the first time.
The midwives and doctors were all fantastic, no complaints at all.

HelenSw4les · 21/09/2014 21:05

Although my children were very much wanted, once I had conceived the first I was scared of giving birth. My midwife was great though even though I had a very difficult birth.

It is so true that you forget what it was like though, otherwise we would all only have one child.

kimthomasandaimee · 21/09/2014 21:22

I just felt relief mostly. The heart burn had become agonising and unbearable _

faybelle · 21/09/2014 21:33

excited and luckily was short labour, gas and air no stitches still hurt like billio though LOL

Lollyp333 · 21/09/2014 21:33

A mixture of terror and excitement. It was actually a horrible experience for me and I'm made to feel guilty for saying this! x

MrsJefferies · 21/09/2014 21:37

I was induced as I measured smaller the day before my due date and a scan showed that there was no fluid around my daughter. I was not expecting this (think it was denial) and hadn't even bought my hospital bag - after my pessary I felt like it was going to take days for anything to happen, but it actually started within a few hours.
I felt amazed that I was actually giving birth - I'd never known a pain and tiredness like it. It kind of felt like an out of body experience, like it wasn't actually happening to me. I wish I'd have trusted my own suspicions of being in labour and how quickly it was happening, despite being in hospital, I felt lost especially as hubby had been sent home.
It was too late for me to have an epidural (long story of being ignored by induction ward midwife!) or anything but I was glad as I did want a natural birth with little intervention. So just gas and air for most.
Giving birth to my daughter was both the best and scariest time in my life. Meeting her for the first time was just amazing.
However, I did have a 3rd degree tear which required surgery and follow up appointments/physio/corrective surgery.
The after effects of giving birth was more hassle and I was very naive to think I'd recover quickly and be back to normal. It is only now, almost one year after the event, that I feel 'normal'.

chezvic · 21/09/2014 21:46

I went overdue by the full 12 days so had to be induced. I remember having lots of nerves the night before but did want it all over with. I ended up having an emergency C section and did not have a good experience. I was quickly shown my daughter for what seemed like two seconds and it was as though she was gone for hours. I didn't get to hold her for at least 3 hours. I definitely say this led to me getting postnatal depression. I won't be having anymore children due to having PND so I feel like I have been robbed of a good experience. I'll never get that time back and I hate that feeling.

Squina1 · 21/09/2014 21:47

Shocked! I was only 29 weeks and didn't realise I was in labour. It was only when I started bleeding at home that I thought I should get to the hospital. I had a couple of big contractions on the way to hospital and when I arrived I could hardly stand. I was rushed into a delivery room and my tiny daughter (2lb 4oz) shot out (literally) 26 minutes later. She wasn't breathing at first and was rushed to neonatal. She then had to be put on a ventilator and taken 40 miles away, which was the nearest hospital with an intensive care bed available. I had to stay in hospital so didn't get to see her until the next day. She was then in three different hospitals over 7 weeks until we were eventually allowed to take her home.

Gill81uk · 21/09/2014 22:00

I was terrified beforehand but when it actually happened I just got on with it. I didnt think I was well involved by the midwives though, especially the first time.

superhez · 21/09/2014 22:02

I was lucky to have 2 relatively straightforward births and felt the most amazing euphoria afterwards.