MN Bumpfest: How did you feel about giving birth? Tell MNHQ for a chance to win £50 voucher! NOW CLOSED

[MichelleMumsnet]

In the run-up to Bumpfest - our event for first-time mums (or second/third/fourth-timers in need of a refresher) - we thought we’d try to find out about how labour was for you.

Giving birth can be an extremely unpredictable affair, and as a result it’s shrouded in myth and mystery. If you’re soon to be doing it for the first time, trying to get a sense of what to expect can be nigh-on impossible - which is why we’d like to hear the truth of the matter, directly from the front line. How did you really feel, when you were in labour - and was the experience, for you, an empowering or disempowering one? Did you feel you were involved in the decisions made by the midwives and doctors? If not, was this because medial priorities took over - or did you feel you were unnecessarily kept out of the loop? Did your birth partner act as your advocate throughout the process - or did you do it all yourself? In short: how was it for you?

Thanks in advance - we hope it’ll help those about to go through it themselves to have a realistic picture of what to expect. Everyone who adds their thoughts to this thread will be entered into a prize draw to win a £50 John Lewis voucher.


MNHQ

P.S. If you'd like to find out more about Bumpfest, please click here.

[cazzzie987]

Completely petrified.My Mum and Nan have said it hurts and giving me all the horror stories, makes me feel worse.

[Tanfastic]

I never had a birth plan which is just as well because when I arrived at hospital in labour I was found to be suffering from sever rapid onset Pre-eclampsia and on the verge of fitting.

Any plan that I would have had would have gone out the window at that point .

We survived though, just but I never had a second.

[KittyKat88]

My first birth was a bad experience - a long labour and not much support/positive or helpful advice. I opted for an epidural after only 13 hours as had had enough. As a result I did not enjoy the birth process, I needed a forceps delivery and was so 'out of it' for the next 12 hours after birth I found it difficult to bond with my baby initially. I had an excrutiating back pain (due to epidural? I just don't know and dread to think). Horrible. My second birth, 2 years later, I determined would be very different. I felt empowered by my previous experience and sourced a TENS machine rental. I was a week overdue, had a 'scrape' of the cervix and went into labour 6 hours later - baby was born 2 hours aftter that with no pain relief. It was 100% natural birth and I could breastfeed immediately. That's how every birth should be and I'm glad that I experienced that in the end.

[janeyf1]

It was a lot better than I expected because for months I was scared

[mave]

Both labours were very quick no stitches and they both breastfed really well. I know I'm really lucky and I have two wonderful daughters from it!

[goose1964]

DS1 - induced due to pre-emclampsia - fast hard labour - needed a forceps delivery but collapsed during recovery due to my iron level falling dangerously low & needed a blood tranfusion

DS1 was an inpatient & labour ward was empty so they decided to induce me , I was already 5cms dilated & had not felt a single contraction so went on to have a painless labour

DD1 induced twice first a failure & doc said she'd try again but wasn't hopeful as I was not favourable & that if it failed I was down for a section the next day - about 4 hours later I had strong pains & was sent to labour ward where I was about centimetres dilated DD was born about an hour later after a couple of pushes

[barker99]

31 hours long (because contractiond started in 7 minutes intervalls I thought I'd be done in a few hours - but oh no). The opening part was very, very painful but my Tens machine was really helping (hired it last minute - so glad I did). I felt my Ante natal classes didn't help and were a waste of money so I just went with whatever made it feel more bearable. I had a couple of baths at home and then the Birthing pool in the hospital. That really helped too. Unfortunately, i got complications so had to go consultant led on a bed with drips. I was really worried about going consultant led but it was fine. The actual birth was ok. I liked that I could focus on the pushing knowing every push would be a step closer to meet my daughter.
When she was finally born I felt surprised - even though I'd been working hard to get her out.
Was it bearable: yes
My advise: keep an open mind and try out anything that could help you instead of sticking with a birth plan
Would I do it again: oh yes, no hesitation

[Keletubbie]

I went in expecting the worst. I had heard numerous horror stories and wasted countless hours beached on the sofa watching Discovery Home and Health documentaries about how I would be split in two.

In the end, I spent 11 minutes pushing out a 9lb girl and was showered and eating toast by mid afternoon. Not half as bad as everyone told me it would be.

[jayz268]

Painful but exciting, as I was looking forward to meeting my baby!

[Annbunce]

After attending all the antenatal and breathing classes beforehand, I thought that I was fully prepared for labour, how wrong was I.

It was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be and all I wanted was for it all to end and for me to go home.

Although it was a very daunting experience, it was also one of the most amazing experiences in the world.

[camperli]

I loved giving birth. Both times. The first time my sister in law, who also had a newborn came round to visit. She smiled and said 'well you don't need to do that again for a while'. I shocked myself by replying instantly that I would do it again tomorrow. Happily. I read Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin loads and also her second book. Childbirth Without Fear was also well thumbed. Snuggling with my child on my own bed, just having had a water birth with no drugs was one of the most joyous feelings of my life. I would do it again tomorrow. Happily.

[Rugbylovingmum]

I had planned a homebirth and had my pool all ready but baby had other ideas. After going 17 days overdue, I had a long induction which failed to start my labour and eventually ended with a c-section. It was the last thing I wanted and it could have been a dreadful experience but the doctors and midwives were fantastic. They made me feel really involved in every decision, kept me calm and helped me focus on the important thing - my beautiful healthy baby girl. I had no concerns before my second c-section and, while I sometimes wonder what a natural labour would have been like and how I would have coped, I don't feel I missed out on anything or that it was a traumatic or anxious experience. Being listened to and supported by the staff made all the difference.

[FAZnREG]

as it will be my first time, very nervous! but also excited and thrilled to be almost at the finish line!

[twinklenic]

ive had 5 pregnancies, 3 resulting in children.
My first baby was born in 1999, after i was induced at 41 weeks 4 days , after 36 hours of labour i ended up having an emergency c-section. He was 10lb 1oz and had got stuck, he needed to be resucitated when born. It was terrifying.
I had my second baby 12 months later in 2000, she was a booked c-section at 39 weeks 3 days. I went in to labour on the day so my c-section was bumped up the list. She was 9lb 6 born .
I was pregnant again in 2011 which ended in miscarriage at 7 weeks, I was pregnant again in 2012 and ended up having another miscarriage at 17.5 weeks. The baby had died as the placenta was attached to my c-section scar tissue. I had to go deliver my baby and ended up having an operation to remove the placenta as it was stuck so bad to the scar.
My last baby was born at 38 weeks in 2013. She was a booked c-section too.
I think eventhough ive had 3 c-sections they have all been completely different, the ones i laboured with took longer to recover from.

[Itiswell]

How did you really feel, when you were in labour - and was the experience, for you, an empowering or disempowering one?
Pain, pain, pain ... i was grateful for the short breaks in between contractions but the contractions were o so painful. I wasn't feeling empowered or disempowered, i could hardly think beyond the pain and getting through, then having some respite before the next one came.

Did you feel you were involved in the decisions made by the midwives and doctors? If not, was this because medial priorities took over - or did you feel you were unnecessarily kept out of the loop? Did your birth partner act as your advocate throughout the process - or did you do it all yourself?
I felt involved in decisions made by the health professionals to some extent. Sometimes, i felt that some information could have been given without waiting for a senior person to deliver it. I know they tried to work with my birth plan as much as possible. I think I was limited in my contribution because i hadn't been through the process or system before. Even then, i must note that those who worked with me for the most part tried to explain what they were doing and sometimes, why they were doing it.


how was it for you?
Overall, it was the worst physical pain i'd ever experienced in my life, the most emotionally intense experience of my life ... it is an experience i can't quite capture in words really. It was surreal, exihilarating, scary, painfully delightful and of course worth it to get my little one ....

[peaf]

It's in the near future so trying very very much not to think about it!!!!!!!

[WheresTheCoffee]

How did you really feel, when you were in labour -I felt scared during both my labours, mainly because I was afraid that after all this time nurturing my babies, I was putting their fate into a strangers hands. I had a very bad experience with DS but went to a different hospital to have DD and had a very empowering experience. I arrived at the hospital minutes away from giving birth and had a fabulous midwife who read my plan and kept as close to it as possible. I had coached DP in the essential parts for me, so was confident that he would act as my advocate if I was unable to. This gave me a lot of reassurance at the time.

[DrFunkesFamilyBandSolution]

1st; ds1 labour was the worst time of my life. Hated every second of it (& being 4 days from start of induction to baby arriving there were many seconds)!
I hate thinking about it & still feel upset that it was so awful.
Midwives & all the staff I saw were wonderful so can't fault them, just the awkward bugger I gave birth too.
2nd; ds2s birth, although another strapped to monitor lying down throughout birth couldn't be more different, wonderful experience...and wasn't at all painful compared to ds1.
If I had the birth experiences the other way around id struggle more to deal with perfect birth follow by horrible one so fingers crossed for a good birth this time too!

There are lots of horror stories about my local hospital/maternity ward but aside from overworked postnatal ward (& can't blame the the HCP for staff shortages) I can't fault them.
Dh is a wonderfully selfless birth partner too, I'd rent him out but he'd get used to labouring women not swearing at him & placing the blame on him so in my interest to keep him to myself!!

[Marg2k8]

My first child was 11 days late and after being induced, I eventually ended up having an emergency c-section. My second was five weeks early and I had to have a Ventouse delivery.

[marcc82]

Luckily I didn't

[chunkychocky]

DS1 - I planned as natural a birth as possible including a water birth. The reality was a 40 hour long labour with a back-to-back arm-first baby. After sitting in the birthing pool for a few hours and not progressing I ended up in the normal delivery suite having an epidural that didn't work. Episiotomy followed by massive tear. Everything was forgotten once I looked at home.

DS2 - I was terrified after the ordeal the first time and spent the entire pregnancy dreading the main event. I didn't bother writing a plan as I figured there was no point. This time it was all over in 4 hours. I had the natural birth - no drugs (not even gas and air was needed) in the birthing pool. DS was born in his sac in the pool and looked like an alien with the mucuous plug still stuck to the top of his head on the outside of the sac.

Just goes to show no two labours are the same.

[tinam1]

hated everything about it, apart from getting my lovely bambino at the end.

[jennywren7]

I had my first son in hospital and was very nervous about the labour, not knowing what to expect. My labour and hospital experience was not pleasant, and when I got pregnant with my second son I had a home birth, much more relaxed and I knew what to expect, I think you go with a second labour more than struggling against it. My third son was also born at home and I was actually looking forward to it, even though he was back-to-back and very big and the labour was very uncomfortable. I would definitely go with home births after the first hospital one, they are so much more relaxed.

[lhlee62]

My first labour was terrible, the contractions started and I went into the hospital, but they sent me home. I went back in 24 hours later and found that my daughter was back to back and the contractions were very short and not long enough for me to get pushing. She became distressed so in the end I needed assistance so I had an episiotomy and ventouse. I needed a few stitches. It was long and very painful around 32 hours.

My second was very different, the contractions were very painful, more painful than with my first and they came on very quickly. She was born in about 2 hours in the back of an ambulance at the top of my driveway. I pretty much had a home delivery without all the mess!!! After the midwife came to check us over we then went back into the house and into our own beds!!

[lhlee62]

I got a bit carried away with talking about the actual events!! I am quite a lets get on with it type of person, but after the first I was a bit scared that it was going to be a horrific event again, obviously with the first you haven't experienced it before so I wasn't sure what to expect. I was more mentally prepared with the second, but it was so straightforward and fast I didn't have any time to worry about it all!!