Hi @FedUpandFiftyNine
Our son is on Elvanse; it's a controlled drug because it's an amphetamine. This is a very typical drug used to treat ADHD. You will almost certainly have to go private to get him treated without a wait of months or more likely years. If you can afford it I would highly recommend an IRL clinic with a good track record in follow up because your son will need the drug titrated (dose adjusted) over about 3 months and in person support and coaching during this period is so helpful. I have heard some horror stories about the cheaper, online services so be careful.
I've had a long day gardening and rather than talk about my son specifically I've used AI to pull together typical benefits of Elvanse and I got it to focus on the example you gave of your group holiday. The driving example with reference to impulsivity IS an actual issue our son had which has completely resolved with meds. Hope this all helps.
ADHD is often misunderstood as an attention problem, but for many people the most disabling aspect is executive dysfunction — the inability to reliably initiate, organise, and follow through on tasks, particularly ones that feel routine, unglamorous, or that don't generate immediate reward. From the outside this can look very much like laziness, selfishness, or not caring. The person standing by while others cook, set the table, clear up, and load the car isn't necessarily indifferent — they may be genuinely unable to bridge the gap between knowing something needs doing and actually starting it. That gap, which neurotypical people cross almost automatically, can feel like wading through concrete for someone with ADHD. Add a busy or unfamiliar environment with multiple simultaneous demands — exactly the kind of thing a group holiday involves — and the overwhelm can cause complete shutdown rather than pitching in.
This is compounded by what's sometimes called task inertia: once stuck, getting unstuck requires a disproportionate amount of mental effort. It's not a character flaw. It's a neurological one.
The other side of the coin is impulsivity — acting before thinking, rather than failing to act at all. This shows up in conversations (interrupting, dominating, saying things without filtering), in decision-making, and in physical behaviour. Driving too fast is a classic example: not recklessness in the usual sense, but a failure of the brake between impulse and action. The thought "I could go faster" becomes the behaviour, without the neurotypical pause that weighs it against consequences. ADHD impulsivity and ADHD inertia can coexist in the same person, and both stem from the same underlying difficulty with self-regulation.
Around 8 in 10 people on Elvanse report meaningful improvement in attention, emotional regulation, and daily function. Clinically, it produces significant gains not just in core ADHD symptoms but in overall functioning, executive function, and quality of life — including in those with significant pre-existing impairment in this area. Practically, this means people can hold multiple threads of life in mind simultaneously without collapsing into avoidance or overwhelm. It improves the motivation to actually do something and promotes goal-directed behaviour. Procrastination decreases. The ability to notice what needs doing, decide to do it, and start — without needing an external prompt or reaching crisis point first — improves substantially. Impulsive responses become easier to catch and override: that fraction of a second between impulse and action, which previously wasn't there, starts to exist.
For someone managing the ordinary demands of adult life, contributing fairly to a shared experience, or simply making safer choices moment to moment, that shift can be the difference between coping and not.
It doesn't fix everything, and it isn't instant. But for those it suits, it addresses the root of the problem rather than just the surface behaviour.