The Goose and Carrot Pub Thread

[roaringdragon]

Everyone is welcome, and the thread disappears after 90 days.

Thank you for the last thread @lougle. I hope the doctor was helpful and DD2 isn’t feeling too rubbish this morning.

DS1 has used the last of his EOTAS hours today. There will be at least a few weeks before the EHCP is finalised and funding restarts. He will hopefully have his operation during that time, but it is still going to feel like a long time without that provision.

@roaringdragon if you do ask, please share the email you get in response!

DD2 came through to tell me she feels 'off'. After much talking, she realised that the feeling has arisen because she's had a good day "and it doesn't feel right that nothing went wrong", plus still adjusting to being out of hospital. I'm a mean mother so I told her to be gone, that the shutters are down, and that I spend enough time talking things through when they've gone wrong, so I'm not spending the evening commiserating with her that she's had a good day!

Reading along trying to catch up but mentally really tired this week, nearly cried at my mgr on a video call. Im struggling with a clash with someone in my wider team who just grates on me due to a very different communication style that when I’m tired I can’t buffer.. they just talk AT me constantly for an hour at a time & I just want to shout ‘Shut Up’ instead I make my excuses and disconnected the call. My tolerance for others waffle at work is definitely dropping more and more the older i get.
DD2s anxiety is high as she just can’t answer the exam questions on a science paper. It’s really frustrating as we’ve covered all the content & the mini quizzes went well, but with only 6-7weeks to go is struggling to even pass the practice science papers sadly. We’ve already delayed the exam once I just hope a bit of hyper focus can kick in & she can do enough to scrape a pass. I’m trying get her to take some responsibility for revision skills after trying lots different ways but she just can’t do it gets into anxious spiral & blocks/ shouts at me sadly. She’s acing the maths practice papers though so I was hoping that would give her confidence but it’s not working for science.

That sounds so frustrating for you both @JumpersFluffy . Can you be strategic in any way and say 'ignore such and such question?' If she can scrape a 4 without the long questions it might work?

Thanks so much @roaringdragon and @Fififizz lots to play with there. I think our bowling must be really expensive as several of those are accessible to us and cheaper than bowling! Unfortunately the PA is only there for 90 mins and comes straight after school and then has another child. DS really wants to see the new Shaun the Sheep film but this afternoon's showing is too late for the PA.
We'd love the PA to take him to other things he has scheduled regularly e.g. music lesson but the PA is only available at those times. I think he does work longer hours in the daytime for YA or EOTAS kids though.

I've had a response to say that as far as they can see, the award of Limited capability for work and work-related activity (LCWRA) is correct and that they assume DD2's ESA claim was credits only because of her age. It somewhat missed my point but I'm going to leave it there. They can't say I didn't try!

Thanks everyone. Wasn't sure if the electrics would have had improvements in the night from DS who at least is great with safety awareness but made lots of alterations to hospitals electrics and took our boiler apart before and has disconnected lights before and we noticed a chair had moved.

Thankfully all electrics are intact and working. DS was going in and out of living room and all downstairs and to garden until about 1.30am and when going to garden was noisy with our back door every 10 minutes or so. At about 1.20am I think a man may have banged the house front and said three words couldn't make out what but would guess wanting DS to be quieter. Man appeared calm but we have never had that before so not sure who it was but wondering if it might be our new neighbour opposite (affair man) though wouldn't have thought he could hear. Everyone else knows about DS and DS makes very little noise normally, it was windy. Though maybe I imagined it but I was awake.

DS though as the washing machine plug socket has had to move to be out of the bathroom, rather than use the extension lead, had moved the washing machine which had knocked the pipework over so DH has just sorted that. I did think that might happen but it was late when they finished. I have messaged the plumber and he said he's coming round for a look on Monday and hope he can do work soon after. We have to be careful to just have short bursts of work as DS goes in the garden - he takes food and drink and its 23C or so but he doesn't come upstairs for the toilet. He wants his toilet. That's one reason we are doing as much as possible ourselves so can do it in about 3 or 4 hours at a time. I hope plumbing won't be an all day job but we will see. Though this plumber knows DS well and is excellent with him, he's one who fixed the boiler and did the kitchen.

@JumpersFluffy DS2 used Tassaomai for science revision. He did GCSE, but it covers IGCSE, too. Would that work for DD? Is DD doing all 3 sciences? Some autistic DC find biology harder because of the language demands and don’t do biology.

@Lougle I don’t think you are mean. You can’t be dissecting the good times and supporting the difficult times. Doing the former would mean you had less bandwidth for the latter.

We have DS1’s finalised EHCP. Of course it is a Friday afternoon. I’m surprised it wasn’t a bit later.

I don’t think you were mean. Sometimes, we parents have to look after ourselves, so we have some energy for the next crisis. There’s nothing wrong with DC, seeing we are only human and not superhuman?

@roaringdragon - better late than never! Maybe SEN officers only work Friday afternoons!

Glad you have it @roaringdragon . Friday afternoon is a favourite, isn't it?

I'm confused. The SW has just phoned for an update about how DD1 is doing because they're going to discuss putting DD1 on the waiting list I thought she'd been on for the last few weeks.

Similarly, I've just had a phone call to book a telephone appointment to decide if DD2 needs surgery, but I pointed out that she'd been discharged from hospital with a plan to operate in 4-6 weeks, so they've decided that perhaps she doesn't need the appointment. I think this phone call appointment was the result of her A&E/SAU visit earlier in the month, and of course she's since had a hospital admission and nobody has joined the dots.

A staff member called me after school had ended to say that DD3 was running late because there had been a 'minor bump with a car'. It turned out that the minor bump was with two cars unrelated to theirs, that they were simply in a queue of resulting traffic and that DD1 was in a staff car, not her own. I think that leading with the fact that she was stuck in traffic would have been a slightly less alarming approach!

DS has come home and PA suggested pool and DS hasn't said no (plus he has found £1 to buy sweets with if that buys anything these days!) so we'll see how that goes.
I am mainly chilling on the sofa this afternoon having been running errands and hoovering. Have been messaging cleaners too as it's getting desperate.

@drspouse I hope pool goes well.

@Lougle someone needs to work on their communication skills. How to make you worry. Do you ever think you live in a parallel universe to professionals?

@LathkillDale or more likely they schedule emails to go out on Friday afternoons. To make parents stew over the weekend and so they don’t have to deal with replies until the following week. I like to get my own back with late Friday emails of my own. Petty, I know.

That's great you have finalised EHCP for DS1 @roaringdragon

Glad DD2 had a good day @Lougle and hope her operation date comes through soon.

Hope you can get a cleaner @drspouse and they are good.

Just done gardening - well clearing the silkies house, clearing leaves, tidying up the stuff DH left outside from the laundry / bathroom work and clearing DSs fruit he eats then leaves round the garden (apple cores, banana skins and clementine peels but at least he loves fruit) and some weeding. DS also seems to have cut some small branches down so I cleared those as well. Now having pancakes which DH is making. DS took a bath whilst we were in the garden. Have ordered support legs for the two worktops and silicone sealant.

The PA needs to work on his persuading skills - they went to McDonald's instead. But they had a walk round town instead of gaming.

@drspouse DD likes bowling but it’s a bit much so we play boules. Maybe a set of boules with the pa?

We don't have anywhere to play them!
Big house no garden unfortunately.
What happened was, DS said yes please to pool, PA told me it's too expensive (it's cheaper than bowling) and told DS it's too noisy.
But we'll continue to work on things.

I've had to set the Google speakers so when DS asks "how many days till Christmas" it replies "I think you can work that out for yourself".

It’s lucky DD1’s mind doesn’t ask those kind of questions! I bought her a dementia clock with the day, time and date on it for her bedroom. When she asks “When….”, we say “When your clock says December 25th”. She’s happy with that!

The down side is, when the day changes at midnight, we get quarter of an hour of

“It’s Friday now!”

over the auditory monitor!

@JumpersFluffy its that horrible climb where nothing gets traction until you genuinely resign yourself to nothing is going to work. Hope the last minute focus kicks in for DD2.

DD surprised me today and met me at the station with DH in the car. That’s drive 2 under her belt 😀

@PurringTiger your DD is a sneaky little miracle. I hope she gets a bit of a smug feeling when she surprises you.

@Lougle oh she is so wiggly and pleased with herself. I am enjoying reading about the trying out of being near other girls it’s very exposing and brave to try that. Our meet up has slid but I have so many long conversations waiting to be had.

@NoHaudinMaWheest love the theatre adjustment for DS. Not so much the mystery around driving. DD deserves a detailed explanation whether she wanted to appeal or not.

I’m in an odd situation where my earnings will exceed the carers allowance earnings limit for 3 months. My claim is being held open for 3 months which is good then I will be earning under. Is there an overall cap on earnings in a year? As these 3 months will be quite a bit of money but rest of the year not.

@PurringTiger DD is on fire. There isn’t an annual limit. Don’t forget CA is taxable though.

@drspouse I think you have said before that you have a playroom? Is it big enough for an indoor boules set or a carpet bowls set, and could DS be trusted?

@roaringdragon thank you. I thought not. My CA will be taxed going forward. I have always felt very strongly about CA as it is left to rot with no actual reflection on caring responsibilities.

There is no incentive for carers to work. The caring doesn’t disappear you just get exhausted.

@PurringTiger we need to get it rolling, don't we? Let's set a date.

@roaringdragon Lol!