The Goose and Carrot July Edition

[Lougle]

All welcome, and everything disappears after 90 days.

@Lougle that’s tricky. Does the psychiatrist need to see DD1 or would speaking to you be sufficient?

Care homes hitting back when family challenge decisions is the adult version of FFI/PP claims in response to parents of children complaining/enforcing rights.

@inthequietofdawn congratulations DS2!! Exciting and nervous news for you.

Oh I missed that! Congratulations to DS2!

Thanks both. We need to set some ground rules, but I haven’t quite figured out what rules yet. I was half hoping he would fail. I know that is mean spirited of me.

@inthequietofdawn Congratulations to DS2! Is the family celebrating tonight?

I am worse today. DD1 was full of sympathy, when I was rolling around in agony with stomach cramps - she told me matter of factly

”Mummy, you are ill! You need to be in bed!”

Every time I come downstairs for a drink, she tells me to get back to bed!

Hope you feel better soon @LathkillDale

Congratulations to DS2 @inthequietofdawn

Looked up the planning meeting and it looks like they aren't considering ours this month so will be another months wait unless agenda is wrong but doubt it is. So it'll be end of September before a decision is made and then if we go with new shed there was a 3 month order lag before due to high demand. Having said that I don't know if they will have worked through that but maybe not with the heatwave. So we are looking at whether we can do the roof ourselves. The £540 for taking asbestos roof of and disposing of was fine but £2k to add a new one made of plastic and some guttering was not. I know which one we can get and roughly how to fix it on but the front and one side aren't too bad for reaching things, front is 1.8m, but the other side has 45cm to fence though that side is level and potentially a step would get us to the 2.15 metres at the back. The back is the issue - its 2.15m and only 45cms to fence and very uneven and the silkies have lowered the ground in places about 20cms. We probably need to level the ground out there with soil or similar and then see if a small step ladder would fit. We at least know from the quote what their plan was. DH says current roof has a small hole in. I think we will do suntuf clear polycarbonate corrugated sheets to be like for like with what is there (minus asbestos!). They will let in light which we want and are fairly tough.

The plumber that came who links in with lots of other trades was quite helpful re flooring in living room and DSs bathroom and serviced the boiler. The other thing is vehicles are having trouble getting through at the moment so I may need to wait for road works to finish to order but we can start taking gutter off etc which is wonky from DSs ninja warrior activities. I have anti mould, wood preservative and paint as well and a sander. At least we are popular with the neighbours for our arranging the councils bin collection for 2 streets. Hope they turn up.

Oh no! Sorry to hear that @LathkillDale .

@inthequietofdawn not mean spirited at all. When DD3 passed I thought "Thank goodness" (can't cope with the meltdown) and "Oh no!" (I have to deal with her driving) simultaneously!

We've set rules that are quite broad. So don't drive if you don't feel fit. If you start driving then realise it was a mistake, pull over, call us, and we'll sort it out without complaining, etc.

New rules are emerging as she experiences situations. So "make sure your phone is charged", and now "set your phone to do not disturb when driving."

@Tulipandmagnolia glad you have sorted the bin collections.

@LathkillDale sorry you are feeling worse.

I took DS2 and his girlfriend for pizza after his test.

@Lougle I fear your DD3 is decidedly more sensible than my DS2. I am thinking about a rule about passengers.

inthequietofdawn congratulations to DS2. I am not surprised that you are apprehensive though. I already worry about DD driving ( if she ever gets there) even though she is very sensible.

lougle I hope you manage to sort out the results situation with the school before tomorrow. Dd3 definitely doesn't need more stress.

LathkillDale I hope you start improving soon.

@inthequietofdawn would be be responsive to newspaper articles? I regularly point out articles where a boy is in a young offenders institute because he changed a song on Spotify and didn't look at the traffic ahead, etc., hoping that it will influence them.

Thank you @NoHaudinMaWheest . I emailed the head teacher today, and the tutor emailed me to say that he has also emailed for information because he doesn't know either!

@LathkillDale get well soon.

@drspouse i love a car boot but stopped doing them as clothes just weren’t selling or selling for £1 for 5 items.

We had a walk 2 days in a row and DD is exhausted. She wants to walk every day but really struggles with fatigue. It’s the opposite of building up, the more she does the longer she needs to recover. I don’t know what to do about this as my brain says more walking equals more fitness and muscle and leads to more walking, but it doesn’t. The mental for walking is finally there and now she has a physical barrier. It feels unfair.

@TheGoodCat could you get a wheelchair so she has the option to go out without the physical cost on hard days, and walks on better days?

Crazy here and two birthdays this week. I’m tired.
@Tulipandmagnolia you can do it yourselves, but it’s hot sweaty work. We did exactly that on a shed last month. We chose bitumen corrugated sheets and one run of clear to let light in. The positive for bitumen is the sheets are much lighter, and easy to cut/hammer through. You can wrap them round the edge and then run a facing board over which looks very clean. (nb we are desk workers so I’m guessing if we can do it anyone can).

Ds is being very loving this week. I feel very lucky.

@Lougle she wants to walk to improve fitness rather than get anywhere in particular.

I read about chronic fatigue, that “graded exercise” often makes people worse, not better? Could it be that? Maybe she needs a longer recovery time between each walk?

See the Nice guideline:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9141828/

(DD2 has chronic fatigue)

TheGoodCat I have chronic fatigue and pushing through really just makes things worse. Pacing - so always doing a bit less than you think you can is the key.
It is incredibly frustrating though and there are times when you just can't manage as well as you need to.

Your Dd is in a position where she can work out how much she can do to improve fitness without triggering fatigue. Alternating long and short walks might be the place to start. (And I appreciate that the MH aspects will just make it all the more complicated.)

@NoHaudinMaWheest pacing is interesting thank you as we have been doing the opposite and just pushing through a bit further or skipping a bench stop etc.

@LathkillDale thank you I will have a read.

Thanks @Wellzizizbetter Glad DS is being loving.

@TheGoodCat I don't know if this would help your DD or she'ld be able to do this but after chemo/radio I really struggled with walking but could do swimming fine and once swimming built up I could then walk fine after, it was breathing related. Private pools can be much quieter, we go to one at the Holiday Inn though maybe wait for school holidays to finish if she's interested. Canoeing / rowing were also easier, seemed to be things that didn't involve standing for me. There's also lovely spas if you can get her to one which are very relaxing but can be peopely. I always wish could get DS to one.

No sign of a bin lorry and someone has parked on the double yellow lines which is why the bin lorries can't get through but we appear to have started a village campaign as someone has put a sign on the car on double yellow lines saying don't park here you are stopping the bin lorry getting through. Tomorrow is recycling bin day so will see if they come for that. Though its the black bin that's the issue as if they can't get through it'll be 6 weeks between bin collections before road reopens. We always have a fair amount of everything when doing work on house and garden. I have contacted listed buildings for free 15 minutes about downstairs bathroom as its not clear if we need listed buildings consent or not with it being in the modern part of house and part bathroom already. It'll take them about a month to reply but you have to start things far before you need them.

@TheGoodCat what would DD think about something like exercise pedals at home? It might be easier for her to do very small amount at home.

@Lougle talking more about news articles is a good idea.

Actually lougle's suggestion of a wheelchair is a good one as it gives so much more flexibility. It can be an always available seat. It can be used as walker for a little more support. It can be used to be pushed in if fatigue sets in unexpectedly or to get to the more interesting bit more easily and then walk. Of course that means you pushing which is not a light task. You also need a good chair as sitting in a bad one is fatiguing in itself.

Just got an e-mail with planning permission through for the shed 😎Surprised as its pre the meeting. About to have celebratory chocolate buttons. No idea what the wait time is currently.

Another suggestion @TheGoodCat If she will do gardening and plant say a veg box or some pretty scented flowers or a windowbox you can do as much or as little of that and can also bring a comfy garden chair / have afternoon tea outside.

@Wellzizizbetter happy birthday to the birthday havers! It's lovely to hear that

@Tulipandmagnolia wonderful news! Full steam ahead.

We had the psychiatry review today. DD1 declined to join when she heard that the psychiatrist would be there.

DD1 also saw the GP. Nothing he can do. Told her to try and distract herself from the pain. He did look at her foot that's hurting and said 'oh she's got really high arches, hasn't she?' Yep, always has... So he's going to refer to orthotics. She had piedro boots as a child.

Double glazing has been fixed. Cavity wall insulation and loft insulation has been arranged. It means we have to clear the loft, which is a pain, but it's not until early September.

Still no news about results day, but we are still 44 hours away, so I guess I must be being impatient, right? 🤣

I’m worrying about ds ending up somewhere we wouldn’t like him to have to live in the future. How hard is it really to get legal protection? I feel like every time I get a space to focus on it something (usually education related so we have a better chance now that’s collapsed) crops up and sucks all my time. I think finances work fine now as he only has benefits but should I pursue health and welfare?