The Goose and Carrot July Edition

[Lougle]

All welcome, and everything disappears after 90 days.

Yup. If I say I'm really tired, to explain why I'm not looking ecstatic, I just get "Well I've got f'tige".

Our house is covered in fibreglass. We had cavity wall insulation done today and loads of it came in through the old air bricks.

TheGoodCat spontaneous walk! That's great news.

inthequietofdawn I hope the conservative management is successful. You really don't need another condition to deal with.

lougle fibreglass is horrible stuff. I hope you can get rid of it without too much faff.

I am better off that some of you in that Dd can cope with my being tired or sad etc but if I am grumpy with anyone whether is is Donald Trump, the DVLA or the milkman I have to reassure her that I am annoyed with her even a little bit.

@inthequietofdawn glad you have a plan for DS1.

A smile is very important to DD too. The worst was when DD didn’t recognise me at all, that must have been a terrifying time for her.

I gave DD a set of house keys today. She was chuffed.

I lost a lot of friends when DD was really unwell. My social currency tumbled. I join groups now that way if I flake I’m not letting anyone down.

@NoHaudinMaWheest thats exactly it! Lots of reassurance that DD is not the target/cause of my emotions.

@LathkillDale doing things that involve the back of the head are really difficult. I keep trying to think of ways to help this problem.

Goodness I am the very epitome of refrigerator mother, though in my case the refrigerator is set to calm and upbeat, any unregulated emotional discharge is absolutely fucking disastrous. It is so so awful to maintain. Worse other people take advantage of it.

Inside I am like an emotional hyperactive rollercoaster. What happens if one day the facade falls and ….. it doesn’t bear thinking of. Truthfully I am a fairly placid happy person by nature, though this particular evening is rather more challenging.

ignore all that. Ds had a shower by himself today. I’m not sure we were really quite there but I had an eye hospital thingy so had to be in a dark room for hours afterward (soooooo boring) so I asked him if he thought he could manage if I just turned the shower on? RESULT!

@Wellzizizbetter great news on the showering.

@TheGoodCat is it sensory issues, physical issues or difficulties knowing where body parts are in space that make tasks involving the back of the head difficult for DD?

@Lougle I hope cleaning the fibreglass up isn’t too big a task.

@NoHaudinMaWheest gallbladder problems can be related to CF in some, so it isn't something separate, thankfully.

My two are relatively ok with appropriate expressions of emotion (DS EHCP keeps saying "needs to learn to recognise emotions" which he's been able to do since he was an appropriate preschool age) but I have still developed an excellent poker face due to DS in particular working out when you are over excited about something and thinking it's fun even when it isn't e.g. breaking something accidentally on purpose, swearing when he was younger.

I don’t, but DD1’s care staff have to! It’s in her care plan! She tends to take them talking with a straight face, as them shouting at her! I don’t shout at her very often; but I guess on the odd occasion I do, she can tell!

(There was the time, I’d bought some shortbread back from Scotland for my mother and brother. DD1 sneaked upstairs a couple of times, and wolfed down both boxes! I was angry with her, because she knew then, stealing was wrong!

There was also the time, DD2’s best friend’s mother bought me a box of chocolates back from Hongkong for getting a locksmith to break into the house, to save the rabbits’ lives. Best friend gave us the wrong key to the house, to look after the rabbits. I was only talking to DD1’s SW for 5 minutes, and DD1 wolfed down the whole box of chocolates in the kitchen!)

However, if we tell her a joke, we have to have a big smile, otherwise she could burst into tears!

I hope the conservative management gets everything under control @inthequietofdawn .

DD3 has been offered a job. I hope it works out well.

@Lougle I had to read that twice to check I had read it correctly. Wow. What a big step.

@Lougle yes wow and @Wellzizizbetter wow 😮 I will be picking your brain for shower wizardry.

@inthequietofdawn I think everything being done at the sink is a big hurdle.

DD has asked for a bidet attachment. Has anyone fitted one themselves?

The thread is becoming a bit PigletGoose with all the skilled manual work going on.

@TheGoodCat we have wash dry toilets rather than bidet attachments. Originally fitted to try to help toilet train DS1. That didn’t work, but they help DS3. When my back is back, I find them helpful too.

Congratulations to DD3 @Lougle hope it goes well.

Just finally got rain today light earlier today then just as DH had gone to get fish and chips from the van thunder and heavier rain. Much needed and DS also loved it going outside.🤔

@inthequietofdawn & @TheGoodCat it is. She's desperate to earn money but finds the idea of people being able to suddenly appear in front of her difficult, so shop work would only be realistic in areas that are quite far away. But a home care company was advertising for visiting carers and she applied. They were apparently very lovely. I thought they may want to pay her a lower rate because she's under 18, but they said the rate is the rate. They also offer NVQ training. It's worth a try, at least.

lougle that is an enormous step for DD3.

Wellzizizbetter that is a huge step too.

inthequietofdawn I see so not new but still more management.

A couple of minor things have happened recently which demonstrate that Ds's OCD is well and truly still here.

Dd had her DVLA medical yesterday which went well I think. We have another wait for the results.

@inthequietofdawn i think wash/dry is my preference but it involves a lot of work and electrics. Also I thought a bidet attachment might be a try before you invest item. Maybe I should just go for it.

@NoHaudinMaWheest why does everything involve waiting? I hope you aren’t waiting too long for the results. I’m sorry OCD is causing problems.

@Lougle I hope it goes well. Even just applying is a huge positive. Will DD3 be using her car? She will need business insurance. You can contact Motability to add it. Sorry if I am teaching you to suck eggs and you have already thought about that.

@TheGoodCat the keys are very important. I'm glad she was pleased.

Would you be fitting a cold water feed bidet attachment, or a hot/cold one?

I find washing DD1's hair really difficult because she drops her head over the shower guard and sticks her arms out like chicken wings. I'm constantly saying 'head up, arms in!'

DD1 had hydrotherapy today. The physio was great and a particularly teary moment was when she and DD1 were singing 'Bingo' and both pointed at each other as they sang 'and Bingo was his name-o!'

Oh good question! @Lougle I don’t know but probably hot and cold so that’s sorted my mind out the bathroom tiles will have to come up in any event.

I’ve completed my work for Aug and will be paid 5 Sept. I need to cancel my careers allowance but I might not have as much work next month. Will I need to pay back the careers allowance I received in Aug? Or does it just not get paid in Sept as that’s when I get paid.

I have thought of it and it's on tomorrow's list, but I'm always grateful for such advice because I could just have easily not thought of it.

I'm being really positive with DD3, but I'll confess here that I'm worried. She's quite naive and she doesn't really understand when I say that not everyone she cares for will be nice, and that some of them will be quite unwell/close to death. She's very sweet, and said 'Well I can make their time left better'. I did care work in an EMI secure nursing home when I was 19, before working at the hospital, then doing my nurse training. It will be invaluable experience but she's led quite a sheltered life and I think she'll have a few shocks.

Sounds like DD3 has a lovely view on what’s needed, making life better for others is always a good thing.