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CHANNEL .....4................TONIGHT......9.00........................BORN TO BE DIFFERENT.....

220 replies

RTKangaMummy · 09/08/2005 20:51

...........

................ 9.00...........

...............PLEASE DO NOT MISS

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OP posts:
Socci · 09/08/2005 22:53

This reply has been deleted

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alexsmum · 09/08/2005 22:55

i think the getting preg thing...people probably agree with you! she should have been using contraception. the smoking thing? yes stupid and possibly dangerous but so easy to understand. think everyone just feels so strongly for that poor woman that to criticise her for that seems wrong. don't get upset( hug round one shoulder emotion!)

Blossomhill · 09/08/2005 22:57

It wasn't as though she was smoking around her dd. You could see how much her dd meant to her and how hard it must have been.
I certainly take my hat off to that mum as I don't think I personally would have the strenght to do it!

alexsmum · 09/08/2005 22:58

glad you say that blossom.

Blossomhill · 09/08/2005 22:58

Alexsmum - I only have a tiny insight as my dd's special needs are quite mild compared to most.

alexsmum · 09/08/2005 23:00

you know i've been sitting here thinking ' i couldn't cope, no way, i wouldn't be strong enough' but when push comes to shove what alternative do you have to coping? you can't stop the world and get off, you just have to get on with it don't you.
just hope i'm never tested on it.

alexsmum · 09/08/2005 23:01

blossom i just think its another part of wanting the best for your kids even if it's not neccesarily what's best for yourself.

Milge · 09/08/2005 23:01

I take my hat off to all the parents and children filmed for this programme. Shelby's brother made me cry as he looked so lost and scared waiting for the ambulance. Her mum's poem, read out by shelby's granddad made me cry too. Hamish's grandmother made comments very typical of her generation and class, imho. She was being non pc, but ultimately honest.
Thanks for the tv alert as always RTKM.

MrsGordonRamsay · 09/08/2005 23:01

Thanks Alex's Mum

I am sure that if I was in her position my two crutches would be nicotine and red wine. One of my first posts was that I thought she was wonderful.

I just cannot grasp why you would smoke in the kitchen, when the back door is so close and it ceases to become a safety issue for everyone.

I am obviously in uncharted territory and will withdraw.

Fio2 · 09/08/2005 23:01

the oxygen was upstairs and she was down in the ktchen?? not very close!

Blossomhill · 09/08/2005 23:02

Exactly Alexsmum. Me sitting here now just don't know how I would find the strength tbh. Of course you do but I take my hat off to that woman. I have a friend whose 2 sons ( a third died ) have such a rare condition I believe it is named after them and is terminal. If you saw this woman it makes you so, so humble but also is heartbreaking at the same time

alexsmum · 09/08/2005 23:03

ok bowing out now to watch sex and the city. night night everyone.

Blossomhill · 09/08/2005 23:03

Night Alexsmum.

MrsGordonRamsay · 09/08/2005 23:05

Fio

I refuse to fall out with you.

Goodnight and God bless.

It may interest you to know that my life is not perfect, so please do not label me.

Thank you

LGJ

Blossomhill · 09/08/2005 23:07

MGR - Noone is falling out with you. We are just saying in the grand scheme of things it's not important.
I am speaking as someone who wouldn't let anyone smoke anywhere in my house ever (or near my kids tbh)
However doing what that woman does, day in day out with 3 other children. I am not surprised at all that she does.

dizzy34 · 09/08/2005 23:21

Hi, i cant beleive i missed this tonight. we go on holiday tommorow and i was finishing last minite things(you know how it is, four kids one with severe disabilites, 2 adults and 20 days worth of clothes to get ready). Does anyone know if it is repeated on E4 or anything.

I read the post about whether you would get rid of your childs dissabilites if you could with interest. i thought about it for ages and decided that yes i would. Not because i dont want a child with dissabilities, but mostly so that he could hold my hand, pick a flower, play with a toy, eat or drink something and run with my nephew. i would love him to have the same life expectancy of a 'normal' child.

Denise

Jimjams · 09/08/2005 23:48

There is a huge difference between children who can have their disabilites and be different and children who are severely disabled. I didn't see the program so I have no idea how disabled these children were. But yes I would wish my son's disability away in an instant if I could. I don't mind him being autistic, but I do mind that he will grow up with no ability to live his own life, no chance to make any choices at all and tbh a pretty awful future. His disability does not make him happy.

My son has about the same level of need as Fio's which is probably why we tend to see things the same way. When he was little he had very severe eczema (wet wrapping eczema) and I can honestly say it didn't comapre. His life is far more limited now by his autism- they're not even close. This isn't said to pooh pooh sevevre eczema- it was dreadful- but to try and explain the limitations that a severe disability places on children (and the family). Imagine not being able to go to a park, a shop, a pub, a tree lined walk, a walk on grass, a queue, a soft play area, a family theme park, a hotel, a changing room if it is dark, a pool if it is busy, a post office, a ferry, a plane, a long train ride, a toilet with a handryer, your grandparents house to stay the night, a tent, your friend's back garden, a puppet show, the theatre, a party, because that is how much ds1's disability limits him and his life. I haven't even gone into the things he can't do inside the house. That's not a quirky difference that is part of him, its a life limiting condition.

The one thing we haven;t had to deal with (thank god) which is sounds as if some poor families on this programme have is health issues. I think those would finish me off to be honest. There must be constant worry and fear and anxiety on a daily basis. I can't imagine how awful it must be. And I'm sure I would need more than a fag in the kitchen to get me through. Fio's right in the scheme of things its not a big deal, it really isn't.

Jimjams · 09/08/2005 23:59

Had a quick look at the conditions on the program. I suspect DS1 is more severe than most of them - although some are spectrum conditions so hard to know. I think I would get rid of most of the conditions in favour of a "perfect" child because they would affect life enough to be a PITA. I would get rid of severe eczema as weklk btw- coming back to the previous post, but probably not AS. I'm hoping this is giving some idea of what I'm trying to say.

MGR said "My family solicitor has SB and he is vertically challenged, he got a top law degree and has his own very very succesful practice." In which case I doubt there would be much need to do away with the disability (although it might make life easier), but children like ds1 and Fio's dd are unlikely to be able to ever be independent at all. They will probably grow up to require 24 hour care. A top law degree doesn't even register if you can't make yourself a sandwich without supervision.

Just trying to point out that different disabilities can have very different effects on someone ability to live life to the full.

Jimjams · 10/08/2005 00:08

Fio- I think you may have had a similar situation to me where your dd's severity wasn't immediately obvious. for years ds1 was treated as high functioning by the system which was why he was put into mainstream by the ed psych. It was kind of surreal when he moved across to SLD/PMLD to find out that he was one of the most "complex" in the class, and the one they worry about most when they go out (as he's fast and a runner- they always pair him with the staff member who is an ex-competitive runner!) Obviously PMLD is seperate and he doesn;t compare to their problems (always very humbling the PMLD classes) but it was quite a shock to find out how severe he was- you don't really realise until you see the comparisons. Or at least I didn't. In ourown environment (we don't get out much ) it's nowhere near as obvious. Weird.

sparklymieow · 10/08/2005 00:08

was this shown last year?? I'm sure I watched Shelbie last year, and I'm sure she had a hour or 2 long fit, and was rushed to hospital,

Jimjams · 10/08/2005 00:11

hour or 2 long fit - - epilepsy is still my biggest fear- I have huge respect for anyone who deals with it regularly.

Blossomhill · 10/08/2005 00:12

sm - it was just a catch up tonight from last series. Next week is all new stuff

sparklymieow · 10/08/2005 00:14

Thats ok, thought I missed it, will be watching next week.

Fio2 · 10/08/2005 00:14

yes it was sparklymieow, they are running through the last series slightly to show the background i think
and yes jimjams she was developing quite well tbh! but there was this massive brake pad that seemed to be shoved on and has stayed stuck and every step is very small, that is what makes me worry. plus 'other things get thrown into the equation almost weekly. All very stressful and I am glad I no longer see the other kids at the portage group tbh as some of them were overtaking her, even though they were very behing initially, and I dontthink i need to dsee that

Jimjams · 10/08/2005 00:19

Ah yes that's why we understand each other so well (and why that video this week screwed me up so much). Children who were way behind ds1 have steamed ahead. And the same - he hasn't exactly regressed but he just stopped still for years and years and years. And other problems came up all the time. very odd. Please don't watch early videos- that one this week has made me ill I swear!

Very strange to go from high functioning dx of "mild langauge delay" to bottom of an SLD class. How on earth did that happen?

Wish you were near me......