My DS is not allowed on school trip

[Cosmo74]

I have just had a phonecall from DS school - he is 5 (primary 1) and his class is going on school trip next week to a little farm - DS has been unsettled this week at school - don't know if this is due to new teacher who obviously doesn't like him.. or his change in fish oils. They said that he can go if me or dad went with them - how is that going to make him look/feel that he will be the only one there with his Mummy/daddy there also do not think I could spend the time with that wretched teacher...sorry to all other teachers out there but he had been making really good progress at school with his second teacher who he has had from Xmas until about 2 weeks ago - teacher 2 still takes him about 2 days a week - think they job share... and it was left to teacher 2 who is lovely and really helpful with DS to phone and tell me - I knew from the way she was talking that she did not agree with this but as teacher 3 is taking the trip with the class room assistant it is not up to her. They said that DS need one-to-one attention and they cannot provide this - suppose to have asked for a behavioural assistant to come in and help with DS but there is no-one available and we are still waiting on the assessment - from October, so DS has to suffer because of this.

I am so angry and sad at the minute - how do I explain to DS that he is not allow to go - that he has to stay at home that day?? and then when all the other kids are talking about it the next day and no doubt drawing pictures etc.. what is he going to feel like......Oh God it is all I can do to sit here in work and stop the tears from coming, but apparently it is nothing to get stressed out about... so they keep telling me - but is that just because they know I am 6 and a half months pregnant and loss a baby last year?

Oh I am so and

Hi Cosmo - I too was asked to accompany my ds (pre ADHD/AS dx) on a school trip to the local zoo in year 1.

Luckily I could take time off work and went but then found I had to take 4 other children in "my group", the other 5 staff/parents had 6 in their group (my ds obviously counts as 2 children!). It did mean I could give him his medication after lunch which was good, but they made it clear he would not go if I didn't come.

The time after that, his childminder (then a school gov) went with him.

When I have spoken about it to an area SEN, she was horrified and ranted on about inclusion.

There will be other parents there and I defo think you should try and be as nice as poss to this ignorant woman and charm her out of her bad ways. As someone else said, she'll find it alot harder to be horrible to you or your ds after that.

However, me being me, if you go, maybe make notes of things said and done that you notice on the day - just as reminders in case you need to mention them to someone else later. Good luck.

Hi,

A very sad situation for you and DS is caught up in the middle. It smacks of discrimination. I would be concerned also at the ratio of helpers to children.

Apologies if you have thought of this/done already but I would consider contacting your LEA directly with regards to asking your son to be assessed for a Statement. To my mind and from personal experience no statement equals no support. With a statement in place they will be obliged to provide a certain number of hours per week in terms of extra support.

IEP's are only as good as the people doing them; it sounds to me like they have just sat on it. Not an uncommon scenario I am sorry to say.

Would suggest you contact IPSEA and speak to them about your son's problems at school. They are helpful and can advise you.

Their website address is www.ipsea.org.uk.

HTH

Thanks all for your advice - discussed this with hubby last night he was fuming - he was the one who sugessted in October that we would get DS assessed but the head and his 1st teacher told us to hold off that we didn't need that yet....if we had of requested it then he probably would have been assessed by now...anyhow I had thought about taking him away for the say myself but then his day will be different from the other kids and he will still be made different. Hubby is going to phone the school today and find out more details about the trip and about DS being excluded - since the first meeting about DS we have always said that we did not want it to get to the point that DS would be excluded from things and they always told us not to worry. I had thought about contacting the LEA but thought that that was the last resort that between us and the school we should be able to get it sorted but maybe now is the time to seek other help/advice on where we go from here. I know until we get an assessment there isn't much we can do but we have requested one through school and through GP, I also enquired about having a private assessment done but there is no-one that does it private behavioural assessment in Northern Ireland - great service huh!!!

Thanks again everyone I will let you know how hubby gets on talking to the head today.

Cosmo, did you try contacting that group in NI Papa? I know they are autism-orientated and you don't have a dx but I'm sure they'd give you advice and support. I know Ken Kerr a little who is involved in it and he is extremely nice.

Davros

No I have not conatacted anyone yet but plan to get all the contact numbers today and discuss it with hubby tonite to see where we go from here. I am determine to get something sorted for DS before he starts primary 2 next year as I do not want him to go through another year at school where he is constantly be watched, behaviour recorded etc.. even if we just get into a support group until we get a date for assessment it will help.

I haven't read all this thread (I'm up to my ears atm with DLA claim, so not much time for MN!) but I'm very surprised that the school are taking a Y1 class on a trip without additional support. J's school insist on one adult per every five children and encourage as many parents/grandparents to be police checked as a matter of course to go along when needed. I think I'd contact the education dept and find out what the legal position is regarding supervision off school premises. I wouldn't be happy with a classful of any children roaming around a farm, let alone one (or even more) with SN.

Good idea to go along, if you can trust yourself not to plant one on the evil teacher. And yes, a good opportunity to show practical ways of managing his difficulties and educating the ignorant.

HOpe you find a solution.

Cosmo, sorry to hear your news, but have been in the same situation myself and know how you must be feeling.
I think you will just have to accept the situation as schools always have the answers for parents comments on this one - safety of children, etc.

Don't get to down about it, is there another parent who is going on the trip that would look after your child?? ( not read all your thread so not sure)
I have got used to all this now and refused to let it get me down. I have moaned and groaned but it seems to be the school are totally within their right to do this. Don't waste time on this one it isn't worth it. It's just one day, make it know that you are unhappy and that you would like your child to be given a chance. At the end of the day it is the school's decision and governors will back them. sorry!! larsxx

Cosmo, if you are really the only non-staff member there do they really have enough adults? Tell the school that they would have more adults than that in the Republic of Ireland! My kids would always have a couple of parents or retired teachers to help out. If you go, I hope you both enjoy the day and it isn't stressful for you.

Hubby is phoning the school today to arrange a meeting with the head both his teachers and the SENCO - apart fom the trip we are not happy that DS has went this whole year and nothing seems to have been done to try and get him help - Hubby has spoken to an ex-teacher who works with him now and she phoned a friend who is a teacher and they were both appalled by the attitude and lack of help the school have been to DS - I am going to contact IPSEAC and request a formal assessment through LEA too..apparently we should have done this as well as the school requesting the assessment but no-one told us - if the parents request an assessment the LEA must come back within 6 weeks but there is no time limit if the school request it. Also going to see if I can join a support group to see what other parents in our area do with SEN children - there is no community paedatrician in our area at present - she retired and they are still trying to get a replacement so there is still a waiting list of 12 months for behavioural assessments so god know when that will come through but the LEA will have to do something to provide my child with the help he needs at school.

If one good thing has come out of this it is that hubby is now as fired up as me and we are determined to get something sorted now - even if we have to make a nuisance of ourselves at the school, LEA and GP's - we both pay a good wack to National Insurance and taxes so someone better get my son help from somewhere.

Good for you Cosmo. Its a shame this all has to happen (i.e. nothing!) to get anything done and that you have to go through all this and the upset too. I'm sure it will all start to happen now, esp with hubby on the case, I'm afraid it does help to have two of you and sometimes people do listen to a man more

Well what a coincendence - Got the phone number of PAPA on Friday and was discussing with hubby saying I was going to contact them to see if we could do anything else - well went shopping to Tesco on Saturday and who should have a big stand there collecting and selling armbands and giving out info. yes PAPA - so got talking to one of the women and apparently in our area there is a great team for support and help - she also explained that I need to hassle them to get anythign done - We had a great conversation with her and got loads of info. so I am phoning them today if I can get a chance and will join one of the support groups - am also getting onto the GP and will do from now on until someone see's my Son and gets us some help for him.

So big thanks Davros for passing them onto me.

BTW Hubby is wearing the band and everyone who asks him what it is he is giving them the full rundown on PAPA and about dealing with kids with difficulties.

It is such a relief to be actually getting something done and realising that we can get help from elsewhere - however my Mum will still not accept the DS has anything she still says he is just a boistorious wee boy!!!!

Thanks again everyone will keep you posted - School is suppose to be phoning today with a meeting - lets see if that will happen!!

ROFL at DH wearing the armband, someone might ask him for First Aid or something! So pleased they have turned out to be worth getting involved with as I don't know anything about them from experience, just reputation. Sounds like you're feeling a lot better and getting things really going, good for you.