Amber has left MN

[MaryBS]

This is just to let you all know, as she asked me to tell you.

I thought she was starting to find ways to mn safely. Really sorry to hear it hasn't worked out.

That's a real shame, she is lovely and very helpful.

I have only just started using the SN threads but always found her messages helpful & insightful and it's a real shame that she feels she has had to leave. I hope she comes back at some point.

Oh, no, that's really bad news. Hope she's okay.

I hope she will come to realise that most of us really value her insights and views.

Oh Amber I'm sorry if you read this

What's happened? She sounded ok last night on her safe space thread.

She said to me in an email

"there was no appetite from the users to change it even a bit to help me until separate boards are set up at some unspecified point in the future (which doesn't help me really - it isolates me from the others) and combined with today's news about the friends dying it's more than I can handle."

She said I can say that much.

Amber

Amber just wants to say it's not her that thinks "there was no appetite from the users", but that is the message she was getting as to why no help is forthcoming for her.

Sorry, I quoted her out of context...

. But Amber has to do what is right for her. She has given so much of herself to help us all on this board. I hope she finds her safe space.

thant is such a shame and imo doesn't show mn in a very good light

im so sorry amber that you felt you had to leave i really found you such an amazing support on here and a shame you didnt feel so supported back and for that im sorry but you really are amazing and we shall miss you i think im ok using we on that one lol

please if you feel you can do come back i'll miss you maybe speak on ttr though[gives big firm handshake] i hope you feel better soon hope you read this but im thinking of you xx

No no no no no, this is so wrong!!!! Amber, please come back!!

Hi, I am, like Jacksmama, a friend of Amber's from another thread (the tearoom one).

We would like to ensure that MN is transformed into a place that Amber feels comfortable about rejoining in the future, should she want to.

We want to make pratical suggestions and demands of MN, but are aware that we are not experts in understanding what special requirements we should be asking for.

Any help from you all would be very welcome.

This is so , i hope Amber comes back when she feels she can.

Amber, so sorry that you have left.

Catitainahatita - I am not sure there is an answer.

There is a "hide thread" option for every thread. It seems that this doesn't go far enough for Amber (I presume hiding a thread is a bit like closing your eyes - it doesn't stop it being there even if you can't see it). At the same time a thread can't be deleted everytime one or two users are upset by it. MN has to do what they see fit, because they are legally accountable.

So sorry Amber .

I have to agree with 2shoes, it really does show mn in a poor light.

I really think the time has come to have moderators on this forum. So that people don't have to see the offensive threads. Just my opinion. Every other forum seems to have them. I know MN prides themself on freedom of speach but even in RL this isnt always allowed. Just my opinion though.

With huge respect to Amber, and sadness that she couldn't stay, it isn't a question of MN failing to moderate offensive threads. Amber finds it difficult to cope with some posts that are fine in general but were upsetting for her because of her disability.

Of course MN is under a legal as well as a moral responsibility to maximise disabled access. But it did seem that the kind of difficulty she was having was a difficulty with online chat itself, and not something that could be eliminated by any manipulation of the site. You can't rule out in advance the possibility that the particular triggers for her 'negativity crash' would occur without a warning.

I am sorry that amber has left, she has given so much support & such insight in to AS.
Maybe though Amber was giving more than she was getting out of MN. She seems to have had such a rough time lately maybe she needs to give herself a break.

I hope she can find a way to use MN that suits her & so that she can get as much support as she gives. But i'm not sure censorship is the way to go.
I for one like the fact that we can discuss things openly & honestly even if we don't all share the same opinion.
On such a diverse public forum self sensorship is the only way to please everyone.

I hope things get a little easier for Amber & we see her back here soon.

Oh Amber

Thanks for your opinions (please keep them coming!)

To be clear: While obviuosly my friendship with Amber makes me less than a objective person here, I do not want to do anything that might be predujicial in anyway to other MNetters. This is why I wanted to consult with people with more ideas than I about this subject.

Please continue to be honest and frank. Perhaps there is a solution amenable to all, I really hope so.

hmm its a tough one.

I'm sure though that in the past that Amber has asked for posts to be removed and MN have ignored. I mean the super Race one beggars belief.

Also I wonder if Amber is a member of other forums and if she has the same problems?