Catitainahatita, you don't know me or my situation or even this board very well, so I really am at a loss about why you feel that you can shout me down about an issue about this board, my life and my rights (and those of others) to speak about the realities of autism.
I'm also at a loss about why you solely focus on me when many others have similar opinions.
You say:
"However she then goes on to attack Amber for using the generic "we" when talking about ASD and says that the SN thread is for parents of SN children and not SN children themselves. So, she is effectively telling Amber to bugger off somewhere else, since as a SN person herself she doesn't belong here.
Nice. So, really what she is saying is that: "only my opinions should be allowed on here. I don't want to hear about how people with SN might actually feel, I just want to talk about how it affects me."
That's hardly preaching the tolerance that she wants for herself, is it now?
IMHO I think there is room on MN for both sides. Noone should go away.
Oh and, Amber has since apologised for using "we" when she might only mean "me"; perhaps Givemesleep would like to extend the same courtesy? "
No, you don't understand my OP correctly and clearly don't want to.
I do stand by the fact that this a forum for parents of SN kids and that clearly some of what we say would upset our kids if they read it, the same as it would a person with SN. This is a forum for parents of SN kids. And I never said 'so go away' but my point was that yes, as this is a forum for parents of SN kids and is not a support forum for people with SN specifically, there is bound to be stuff that might upset people with SN...if we're allowed to post honestly, that is. If my son read my posts, I'd post differently. But this is a board for parents, who need support. I have no doubt that Amber has helped many other mums with her insights into autism. But I don't think that there's anything that would compensate me fully for not being allowed to say anything negative about autism
I agree that there is room on MN for both sides and that is exactly my point. I said in my second post "I'm really angry and upset, but I think the difference is that I am not saying that others can't challenge and oppose my views because I'm upset and angry. I take responsibility for reading this rather than leaving (which was my first temptation). But without debate, there is no broadening of knowledge. The fact is, we all learn from each other, and a sanitised MN where we all say 'oh, isn't autism lovely' is bullshit and no help to anybody, let alone those struggling." and I stand by that.
My point about the use of 'we' was not to tell anyone off but to make the point that one person with autism is not all of autism and can't speak for all of autism. I think that Amber might feel that she does and that is why the poem might have affected her so much. I didn't make a personal attack and if you could read without bias as someone who is Amber's friend from another part of the board, you might see that.
I don't want to patronise Amber by saying that, as she has an ASD, I can't be honest with her. I am honest with everyone. I have not done any personal attacks. It's how you choose to read it. I find it very that I am somehow less important on this board and that my opinions are less important because I don't have SN. Clearly parenting a child with SN leaves me needing no support whatsoever and, because I don't have SN, people don't need to worry about slagging me off .
This whole thing is upsetting me and pissing me off so so so much that I just need to go elsewhere and hope that I can find somewhere else where I can actually have some kind of sounding board/ venting place about autism without someone with autism telling me I'm disablist and that I hate my son and find him disgusting . I don't have that in real life, and now not on here either.