So are only threads celebrating autism allowed?

[daisy5678]

I am really truly sorry that the poem upset people and I didn't like it.

But I am so so so furious that the thread has been deleted and I wonder what is next...if someone writes a post saying that they are upset with their child's autism dx, is that deleted as disablist? If I write a post saying that I hate something to do with what autism does to my son, will that be deleted?

Like I said on that thread, one person's reality is not another's. One person's autism is not another's. To ban anything that dares to suggest that autism can actually be quite shit just seems to me to make those who find it hard to cope with feel like they're weak or stupid not to celebrate the great joy that is autism.

Or maybe it's me that is wrong to find this wrong, and to find life really quite hard at times and to dislike the fact that autism, in my son (who is really quite high-functioning) causes really quite horrible things, like suicide attempts and stabbing others and self-harm.

Maybe I should just celebrate all that and keep on smiling smiling smiling, and tell anyone who dares say anything negative about autism that they're wrong, because it's all fine and perfect.

But I can't do that, so I guess I'm not welcome on here anymore. So on an SN thread for parents, we can't dislike anything about our children's SN

Phew- glad nobody still angry with me LOL

Absolutely it comes down to sensitivity, part of that though (Amber feel free to disabgree or scream at me) is understanding that people with an ASD just sometimes dont get what we mean and might be upset by the unsaid stuff (I know you know this GMS LOL)- whereas what we mean is 'I love my child and who he is but I hate ASD', someone might just see the I hate ASD if they have a communication issue

So that has to be part of the sensitivity.
Bbut Amber for your part if we can try and remember to factor that into our understanding of your posts, can we ask that when you are hurt or upset you ask us to clarify what we mean? 99% of the spats on talkboards come down to the whats not been said aspect, and thats not just ASD related at all.

I get the catastophic thinking thing makes that difficult and as I also tend to over react to criticism / comments on here I find that hiding the thread helps, actually what would really help ME is a hide the thread option that takes it out of threads i'm on as well as active convo's. Otherwise it gets like picking a scab.

Perhaps on some threads you could post 'I dont feel comfortable with what is being expressed here, could somebody explain?' and then maybe one of us who is (we think) HFA-literate could help?

peachy wasn't angry with you - just sad if this whole thing had turned into a battle and we had to all be on different sides becaue you're a poster I think a lot of.

LOL

Riven, you asked if adults tell people their diagnosis. I have told:

Ds1's teacher with general talking and to explain some difficulties I personally have that may make a difference when dealing with things about Ds1.
Ds1's paediatrician with general talking and to explain some difficulties I personally have.
On this site and another site and obviously ASD sites.
Ds2's playgroup helpers with general talking and to explain some difficulties I personally have.
My sisters and my parents.
Have mentioned it in passing to FIL and his gf and a couple of DH's family members but not gone into details.
Other than that, I agree, it's not most people's business. I certaintly don't announce it when I'm out and about to strangers. If you talked to me without knowing me I wouldn't tell you, for example. But in order for people not to make wrong assumptions about me then sometimes it is necessary to tell them.

I will add as well that it has taken years for me to get to the point where I realise the extent of how different I am and to be able to tell people some areas in which I have difficulty. There are still large parts in which the most I can articulate is that I don't feel right with something.
When I was a teenager I did not pick up that I was different beyond knowing I had no friends and most others my age wanted nowt to do with me, or saw me as rather babyish even if they liked me. If you want to know just how unaware I was of what others thought in relation to me, I can tell you that at the age of 15 I had an accident in church and was fully prepared to walk up the aisle for communion rather than cleaning myself up because I did not even think that others would notice the state I was in. One of the first times I really started to realise more things was reading on a parenting forum about a lad on the spectrum who did not realise most days he needed to maintain his appearance, or was unable to remember the steps needed to maintain his appearance and it hit me then that that still describes myself. I can come across as very aware on here, because I am an almost 34 year old woman who has read and asked people. As a teenager I had no such awareness.