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Original poster

anyone else's child have lack of party invites

76 replies

sparklymieow · 14/04/2005 22:55

I have realised today that DS hasn't been invited to any parties this year whatsoever. I don't know if it because he has CP or what... Dh thinks its because I am a bit strange myself and scare the parents off I think its because DS's CP is more noticeable this year and people are worried about having him there IYKWIM. I feel so sorry for the lad, I think I will have a HUGE party in december for his birthday...

OP posts:
kid · 14/04/2005 22:56

DD hasn't had any invites either. I think there are lots of birthdays coming up so we will wait and see. I won't hold my breath though.

coppertop · 14/04/2005 22:59

No invitations at all for ds1 either.

juniperdewdrop · 14/04/2005 22:59

Awww so sorry to hear that sparkly. How old is he? DS1's friends seem to be having less parties now, we didn't bother either last year. He's 7 btw. I find they come in fits and starts so it could be that? Good for you having a huge party for him

A friend of mine has just had her dd diagnosed with CP, it affects her right side. She can walk but drags her right foot a bit and her sight is poor on that side. I don't know much about it and should probably look into it more.

Original poster
sparklymieow · 14/04/2005 23:07

he is 7... he has lots of friends so quite [shocked] that no-one wants him at their party... DH is still insisting its me that has scared the parents off tho....

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juniperdewdrop · 14/04/2005 23:09

Do you know they've actually had them though?

at your dh

TheRealMrsF · 14/04/2005 23:11

I hate the 'Party' part of being a kid...i was never invited....my mum therefore didn't 'bother' ...or so i thought ....to do me any...so that i believed wwas IT.

Now...so far.... with all my boys they stopped getting regular invites by age 6.....Alex is 6 next month and the last school friend party he went to was last june ???? approx.

2 of my 3 have Aspergers....and i kind of accept now that they get excluded.....but unlike my mum i still tried with them to have parties....but the Flip of this thread is that when you invvite friends to come to your own child's party...that NOONE bothers even to reply.

I'm so sorry that your son is being left out..... there is a lad with CP at our scjhool and I had the most amazing time with him at the school bazzar at xmas...him and i were making popcorn and selling it...we were in hysterics...AND i had the best conversations ever with him-as despite my son's being very verbal...this lad with all his difficulties managed to chat away....

marthamoo · 14/04/2005 23:11

Ds1 has only had two invites this academic year (he's just 8). I think the parties are phasing out - maybe they just take a friend to the cinema or something similar. Perosnally I'm glad - my heart always sank when there was an invite in his book bag. If he has lots of friends I don't think there's anything to worry about, tbh.

TheRealMrsF · 14/04/2005 23:16

the problem is martha that in our case the invites are being handed out....but not to my sons
Hopefully sparklymieow will say differently!!!

Original poster
sparklymieow · 14/04/2005 23:18

actually thinking about it, I only had a small party here this year (his birthday is 6 days before xmas!! ugh!!) and then I took him and his cousins to the pictures... He did ask me why he didn't get invited to this boys party today and had a little sulk, but he was fine. I normally have a massive party for DD1 as her bday is in June and we have all the families here, friends, and cousins, last year we had a bouncy castle and this year we have a trampoline so a great time is had by all.....

OP posts:
Original poster
sparklymieow · 14/04/2005 23:19

invites are handed out in front of the other children here too MrsF

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marthamoo · 14/04/2005 23:19

That's rotten, Mrs F

Original poster
sparklymieow · 14/04/2005 23:25

MrsF shall we have a cyber sob together for our kids???

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TheRealMrsF · 14/04/2005 23:25

yes ...it hurts me as much as them....i've mentioned on here many times about the time i handed out 14 invites....only 2 replied and came....i had to pay £70 for the party we had booked which was meant to be for 10 kids....i did expect to have to pay more if all 14 came!!!...but as it happened there were my 3 boys,2 friends and the 2 school friends....and that meant instead of £7 each- it cost £10!!!

the parties i hate----are the really large ones that invites almost the whole class....except for maybe 5 or 6....bit like getting picked for the PE teams.

Original poster
sparklymieow · 14/04/2005 23:27

the mum was handing out the invites, its at a local activaty centre and she had a huge pile of invites, so I am guessing about 20-25 kids got invites....

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TheRealMrsF · 14/04/2005 23:30

sparklymieow ...i had always assumed it was 'just' the 'behaviourly challenged' (???is that offensive...not meant to be)..ie AS,ADHD etc that got excluded...i am shocked that people discriminate all SN kids

I actively go out of my way to get to know all the kids i possibly can who have 'whatever dissabilty' they have...and try to include them in parties etc....sometimes the mums explain that they cannot come because of XYZ.... but to not be invited is so different.

TheRealMrsF · 14/04/2005 23:30

i feel like cybercrying too!

Original poster
sparklymieow · 14/04/2005 23:31

DD1 has a party to go to on Sunday, I am really dreading it, she has only been at the school since January and I don't think many of the parents actually realised she has CP too, learning problems, and behaviour issues... I think I might have to take the mum aside and explain tomorrow...

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TheRealMrsF · 14/04/2005 23:33

the lad with CP at the school goes out of his way to wave to me...and i feel so priviliged.

Unfortunately...though a lovely lady...the mum keeps very much to herself as they follow a religion which means they don't celebrate christmas etc...and even birthday parties are a NO NO!! Still ---- she is always pleasant- and i am hoping to eventuaklly get her to come with her boys to our home.

Original poster
sparklymieow · 14/04/2005 23:35

I know many of the mums have asked me silly things before, like can he eat normally? Can he walk for a while (yes but not for long IYKWIM) he is one of the brightest kids in the class, in a gifted group for maths, on the highest level for reading, has a huge range of words, and yet people still see the boy with the walking problem and nothing least

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TheRealMrsF · 14/04/2005 23:36

i know it's hard...having to explain to 'stranger's ' all her 'funny ways'..... i suggest you print a postcard sized info card- 1 side with all your phone number detais etc....and the other with say 10 bullet points about her difficulties /triggers to behaviour etc...with suggestions of what to do etc if there is a problem?

TheRealMrsF · 14/04/2005 23:37

i'm off now...hope things go ok on sundayXXXXX

Original poster
sparklymieow · 14/04/2005 23:38

I think thats a good idea MrsF, I have a list of the food they will be having at the party so I can go through it and see if there is anything that might trigger her off....

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lou33 · 14/04/2005 23:47

this is a worry of ours wrt ds2. So far he has been invited to 2 parties, one we couldn't go to because we were away, and the second one is this weekend. He is only 4 atm, but we do worry that as the gap between him and his peers gors ever bigger, the invites will trickle off.

clary · 15/04/2005 00:20

this has made me really
Actually nobody in ds1 circle has any serious SN, but we know twins with developmental delay, motor difficulties etc, and would never dream of not inviting them....

bobbybob · 15/04/2005 06:05

DS has allergies and we didn't get invited to any parties by the people who came to his. I think they wanted their artificial food colourings, egg sandwiches and balloons without feeling guilty that he couldn't have them. He's only 2 so he didn't notice, but he will next year!

Oh and it could be that I am scary!