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ds1's behaviour at home is out of contol

150 replies

Jimjams · 24/02/2005 20:29

he has been dreadful since the weekend. HAving got over the climbing over bannisters thing he is now just running around ricocheting off the walls. he has rediscovered throwing things but is throwing stuff to try and smash it (bye bye sugar bowl- and I've just had to remove from his room a china tractor that his aunt bought him as a baby). He is climbing everything and obsessively trying to look at things from certain angles 9wants us to open/shut windows and goes ape if we won't- and really ape- real headbanging meltdown type stuff. He's refusing to go to bed and keeps turning his light on then leaping round the place when he's meant to be sleeping.

So what do we do?

Tonight I have removed his bedroom light, and the hall light, have put up 2 travel barriers (one on top of the other) so that he can't climb out of the room. and now the entire house is in darkness- the idea being that if he can't see anything then he will lie down and go to sleep.

I feel like we are treating him like an animal- but I don't know what else to do. we don't have a punishment- he thinks being shouted at is hilarious, and after being awake for 4 hours last night is completely hyper. I feel like the only thing we can do is come down pn him like a ton of bricks, but I'm worried that if this bad behaviour is a delayed anxietyreaction to ds3 turning up then this will onloy make it worse. I'm trying to spend consturctive time with him and cuddling time after school, but its hard when he's constantly having to be pulled off various items of furntiture that he's climbing.

Feell very out of control and for the first time in a long time am unsure as to how I should be dealing with this. Help please!

OP posts:
popsycal · 25/02/2005 20:58

Can i be helpful?
I have both jimjams and soapbox's emails (i think)...want me to put you in touch?

ThomCat · 25/02/2005 20:58

Why don't we all take a pic of out own washing machines and send them to you? Would he reaaly like that?

frogs · 25/02/2005 21:01

Can I add myself to the list for a MN whipround for the jimjams family's campervan fund? I don't usually post on these threads as god knows I have nothing useful to add, but set up a PO box address for jj ds1 and I'll happily send a chq. No jumping from planes or whitewater rafting required.

Oh, and TC, I sneaked a look at the article in Junior preg. and baby and was v. touched by your piece.

soapbox · 25/02/2005 21:02

Popsycal - that would be good - CAt is always slow at the weekend

Jimjams · 25/02/2005 21:03

oh my god he'd love that.

I'm very excited as I've just googled motorhomes. i didn't want to hire again from the same place as last year as their vans were slightly crappervans (bit didgy actually ) and I've just found somewhere else local that hires out new vans. I think they must be a new company as I looked everywhere last year. So I've emailed them to ask whether they have any school holiday dates free this year, if not I'll book for next year.

OP posts:
coppertop · 25/02/2005 21:04

If you wouldn't accept a campervan outright then what about having one to be used by families in your area who need it? That way you get to use it too?

Our local SN group owns a seaside caravan especially for use by families of children with SN.

Not whipping me baps out though!

Jimjams · 25/02/2005 21:06

no no no to cash donations- seriously there are far more worthwhile causes than us- and we can afford to hire one if it's available (if its good maybe we could hire yearly or something). Please give your money to the autism research unit. They've just been helpful to suedonim as well and I know they are cash strapped.

However I will galdly accept any photos or piccies of washing machines

OP posts:
ThomCat · 25/02/2005 21:10

Jimjams, am organising the washing machine thing now.

popsycal · 25/02/2005 21:10

Soapbox and Jimjams

Have just emailed Jimjams with Soapbox's email address.

JakB · 25/02/2005 21:20

Ah! Isn't Mumsnet great?
Hope tomorrow is calmer, Jimjams. Yes, I think our autistic babes are very similar! I will definitely pop in if we get to Devon this summer. DD has been very upset tonight (ears again) so she's had calpol. Oh dear...
Will photograph my washing machine first thing and send through to TC!

suedonim · 25/02/2005 21:35

I've a couple of American H&G mags, Jimjams - would ds1 like those?

onlyjoking9329 · 25/02/2005 22:14

sorry to see you are having such a difficult time Jimjams, i do think you are doing the right thing with the baby gates and the lights we have done the gates thing and it worked, sounds like it could be a diet thing, but this is autism so it could be anything of course. give SS a good kick up the arse you have to scream very loudly to be taken any notice of it seems, take care, i will come and vist if we ever get to go to devon cliffs.

Jimjams · 25/02/2005 22:34

Is that the caravan place oj? I received some info about it this morning- looks very nice-- all done up. if you come and visit we should do a joint Bristol meet up as well. have you met J and H? They're very nice.

yes please suedonim

Hope dd's ears are better soon jakB. My friend swears by hopi ear candles (she gets them from neils yard).

OP posts:
onlyjoking9329 · 25/02/2005 22:39

yes its a caravan place, but dont think we will be going for a while, we are off on holiday in three weeks so will have to wait a while, yes J and h spent a few days with us in weymouth last year and J and her son came and stayed here for a couple of nights too.

Jimjams · 25/02/2005 22:46

ONe day I want to go on a big meet up. (noth that I've been chatting much recently- way behind).

OP posts:
Beetroot · 25/02/2005 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

onlyjoking9329 · 25/02/2005 22:49

i went to jacquis 40th birthday meet up, it was good lots of wine and chocolate, perfect

Jimjams · 25/02/2005 22:52

I would have liked to have made that one oj. it sounds as if it was good fun.

OP posts:
Geri2 · 26/02/2005 07:45

Hi Jim Jam, and everyone else.....
I'm new Mum's net, my first ever post, whey hey!!

This is just a quickie, havnt had time to read all the replies so apologize if this has already been said. I know what you are going through as I have the same with my daughter... (was reading the lighterlife thread which is how i then came onto this thread) anyway will hurry up and write this before she gets up for the day.. it's a terrible feeling, sitting here hoping she's gonna come down the stairs happy and not be crying, as that can last for so long.. My advice would be to phone the out of hours social worker.... Don't know if it's the same for you, but I felt like no one beleived what we were going through, up at all hours so i rang them, they have to put a report in and it has to be followed up... so do this enough times in the early hours and hopefuly they will take notice - you have other children too so they should be helping you.. it really annoys me that nothig is done to help until you're at rock bottom.. if the help/support was put into place before we get to that stage it would help but it dosnt seem to work like that.. also do you have crossroads in your area?? It's worth getting on their waiting list, you can refer yourself to them...
hope this helps... btw, my daughter is 8 is autistic with severe learning diff, and next week will find out if she's eplieptic or not - it's so unfair, it just seems like one thing after another.. oh also jim jam have you thought about medicine to help him sleep? If you have a consultant you see, if not ask doctor to refer you to the hospital... as i said before sorry if this has all been said before but didnt have time to read all this thread...

Hope your weekend is not so hetic... and mine too - I will be out driving in the car, and feeding the ducks, god knows how many times this weekend as it's what keeps her happy...

hugs
Geri
x

Jimjams · 26/02/2005 14:09

hi geri welcome

earth to ds1 earth to ds1

Getting calmer, but still away with the faries. Has now worked out how to get into the tied up cupboard and has been doing his magic with the spray bleach this morning. Ah well makes a change from washing -up liquid.

I'm off to pick up his melatonin (I hope)

OP posts:
suedonim · 26/02/2005 15:06

Can you CAT me with your address, Jimjams, and I'll put stuff in the post?

WideWebWitch · 26/02/2005 20:15

I missed this last night Jimjams, I'm so sorry life is hard (understatement!) for you atm. I wish there was something I could do, if I was still in Devon I'd have done your shopping. But I'm not. If I can help with chasing anyone up for you I will - I could call you and you could just tell me who needs chasing and what for and reference nos etc and I'll draft a load of chasing emails and forward them to you for sending. And I'd love to pop in next time we're in Devon, which may be later this year to see dp's parents.

Jimjams · 26/02/2005 22:15

We missed the chance of a meetup didn't we www (think I had in laws over). I keep missing tigermoth as well.
Suedonim will Cat you now

OP posts:
roisin · 26/02/2005 22:17

Have you had a better day and evening today Jimjams?

ScummyMummy · 26/02/2005 22:23

If I'm ever in Devon I will make a beeline for your place jimjams. I was in Plymouth for a few hours last summer and thought of you- wished I'd had your number.