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ds1's behaviour at home is out of contol

150 replies

Jimjams · 24/02/2005 20:29

he has been dreadful since the weekend. HAving got over the climbing over bannisters thing he is now just running around ricocheting off the walls. he has rediscovered throwing things but is throwing stuff to try and smash it (bye bye sugar bowl- and I've just had to remove from his room a china tractor that his aunt bought him as a baby). He is climbing everything and obsessively trying to look at things from certain angles 9wants us to open/shut windows and goes ape if we won't- and really ape- real headbanging meltdown type stuff. He's refusing to go to bed and keeps turning his light on then leaping round the place when he's meant to be sleeping.

So what do we do?

Tonight I have removed his bedroom light, and the hall light, have put up 2 travel barriers (one on top of the other) so that he can't climb out of the room. and now the entire house is in darkness- the idea being that if he can't see anything then he will lie down and go to sleep.

I feel like we are treating him like an animal- but I don't know what else to do. we don't have a punishment- he thinks being shouted at is hilarious, and after being awake for 4 hours last night is completely hyper. I feel like the only thing we can do is come down pn him like a ton of bricks, but I'm worried that if this bad behaviour is a delayed anxietyreaction to ds3 turning up then this will onloy make it worse. I'm trying to spend consturctive time with him and cuddling time after school, but its hard when he's constantly having to be pulled off various items of furntiture that he's climbing.

Feell very out of control and for the first time in a long time am unsure as to how I should be dealing with this. Help please!

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Jimjams · 25/02/2005 20:00

SS know that we need help- they're just very unorganised (or more to the point in crisis) so nothing happens. I will chase them next week though,

JakB I've often thought our 2 sound similar. sucks doen't it?

Had to cage him in his room again tonight (as soon as we say bed he goes hyper), but after a brief initial complaint he is calm and sounds as if he's settling. I do think he 's calmer tonight. hoping norma service will be resumed soon.

anyone who wants to do something can make me a promise. If you're ever in devon in school holidays pop in and say hello- that makes a world of difference to a day.

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ThomCat · 25/02/2005 20:02

I read this thread about 15 min utes ago and since then I've just sat here, with tears in my eyes, feeling like shit for you, honestly. I don't know who you're coping, I don't know how you cope, how you stay sane and I don't know what to say. FFS, what are you supposed to do, why is life such a bastard sometimes. You always sound so strong, so calm, even when you're tearing your hair out, I admire you SO much. I wish I could help, in some way.

Are you saving up for this campervan, is this something that's happening?

Can you get some time for you this weekend, for a massage or something?

Blossomhill · 25/02/2005 20:03

I wish I lived nearer to you Jimajms. As I am sure my house would be very ds1 friendly and you'd be welcome any time

ThomCat · 25/02/2005 20:04

My friend lives in Plymouth (she used to live in Totnes) and I've promised myself a trip down to see her some point this year, so may well take you up on that at some point!

Blossomhill · 25/02/2005 20:04

Promise you'll ring SS on Monday Jimjams. You bloody well deserve the help and it's not fair that you are not getting it

snafu · 25/02/2005 20:08

Jimjams, I've come late to this thread, as always! I am really not sure I can say anything helpful but just wanted you to know I am full of wonder at your ability to deal with all of this, and thinking of you. I have never forgotten how lovely (and full of helpful advice) you were when I was going through a terrible time with my mum and I really hope that SS get their collective arses into gear for you all - and soon.

Beetroot · 25/02/2005 20:09

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Jimjams · 25/02/2005 20:16

The campervan will happen as soon as we win the lottery TC Ooh beetroot I'm wondering who that is. If her name is Stella she's lovely and I know her and maybe I should ring her, if her name is Bridgit I've been wondering whether to ring her and get her on baord but was a bit concerned about her fees and also having too many people involved agaiin.

Would be great to meet you TC

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emmatmg · 25/02/2005 20:16

I very rarely post on special needs as it's way out of my depth but have been following this thread JimJams.

All I can say is I wish I could make something..... anything......everything better for you.

Your last sentence about popping in if you're in Devon really made me feel sad you.

xxxx

Jimjams · 25/02/2005 20:17

oh and beety and if she isn't either of those then yes please I'm very curious- there aren;t many people working with autism down here- and if she is bridgit yes please as well as I've lost her email.

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Beetroot · 25/02/2005 20:19

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Jimjams · 25/02/2005 20:20

I'm only housebound in holidays emma (and im not completey as there are 3 friend's houses we can go to- and one is very relaxing for me as her dd is escape artist exrtraordinaire so ds1 is totally safe there). Autism is a PITA at times but I've made some good friends through it tbh and met some amaziing people- and it's changed my way of thinking about everything so not all bad! (just loud at times )

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Jimjams · 25/02/2005 20:21

oh no that must be someone new beety- yes please to more details I'm very interested.

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Beetroot · 25/02/2005 20:22

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tamum · 25/02/2005 20:23

OK, here I am with my standard unhelpful idea. He wouldn't like a set of cardboard boxes glued together at strange angles would he? Like a kind of weird dolls house, I was thinking. I wondered if he could have some kind of safe alternative to looking at angles out of windows. Even a book on modern architecture with lots of close-up photos?

I know this is no help at all, but he must be going to get better before too long. I'm sure you're right about the calpol but I would bet any money on the arrival of ds3 also being at the root of some of it judging by what you've said about his reaction when ds2 was born. Some of it sounds as though he's taking comfort in familiar views and things because his home environment has changed in a way he hasn't yet learned to handle. I really, really don't think you should worry about treating him like an animal- you are keeping him safe, and trying to make things normal for him, the way any good parent would.

xxx

ThomCat · 25/02/2005 20:26

JimJams, could we do some sort of sponsor thing for the campervan? Whitewater rafting in Devon or soemthing? My friend did a run and I helped her raise 3grand when her friend lost both her legs beacuse of a blood disorder. We got her a motor driven wheelchair. Could a similar thing be organised for a camper van or funds towards it?

Jimjams · 25/02/2005 20:26

cheers beety

he loves artichitecture magazines- actually any homes and gardens type magazines but I think that's different I don't think he'd be into the boxes unfortunately ((or he would but would still be into falling out the window to look nest door as well). I haven;t bought him any homes magazines for ages- may get him one tomorrow.

awww ds3 is on my lap smiling at me

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ThomCat · 25/02/2005 20:27

Oh, and can you get yourself off for a massage or some reflexology tomorrow?

tamum · 25/02/2005 20:28

Thomcat, what a fab idea. As long as you don't want me to jump out of a plane I will gladly help (almost anything for you Jimjams, but not that )

to ds3

Jimjams · 25/02/2005 20:29

blimey TC - have you seen the price of them It's very sweet, but I would feel really uncomfortable taking people's money to spend on a holiday van thing. There are other far more deserving causes (and ones which would benefit more people). My vague aim this year is to build my income up to something sensible so that dh can change jobs and we can afford things like that (or at least we can afford to take out loans to pay for things like that )

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ThomCat · 25/02/2005 20:30

Ohhhh, maybe we have something here????
What do you think jimjams?
My friend, the one who used to live in Totnes always got involved with some mad make your own raft and race it thing.

Jimjams · 25/02/2005 20:32

I'm a bit funny about massages (like them but feel a bit uncomfortable). I have got a homeopathy study day next friday which is always a complete break. Just deciding whether to take the baby or not.

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Beetroot · 25/02/2005 20:32

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ThomCat · 25/02/2005 20:32

Yeah but you NEED to have a break and a campervan would be ideal wouldn't it???

Jimjams · 25/02/2005 20:33

No really I couldn't take anyone's moey. I would have to giive it to the NAS or something- honestly.

I did a race your own raft thing once- we came last I seem to remember- from Seaton to Downderry- very hard work it was too.

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