This story is so sad......... and awful too.......

[lottiejenkins]

www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/2008/09/08/mum-could-not-cope-with-disabled-daughter-91466-217 05000/

really Fio? (re school and counselling)

that's shocking. the special school I worked with were always doing stuff for parents

Parents are just expected to get on with life after their child has received a dx (or indeed, if none is forthcoming). I can vividly remember the meeting at which my ds was dx - we just all got up and left the room, got into the car and came home. That was it. We got the formal dx report a couple of weeks later. Nothing else changed. Then, half a year or so later when I first contacted SS for help, a SW came round to pay us a cursory visit - he looked suitably bored for half an hour and sent us a letter saying we didn't meet the criteria for help and that he was closing our case. That was 18mths ago and, following my persistence (lots of letter writing), we are still waiting to have it confirmed that my ds can access monthly respite care.

My point here is that this is the level of 'support' that is available for a severely affected child. I don't know if the woman in this case ever sought help from SS (or others) but I'm guessing that if she did, she would've been given short shrift, would've been made to feel as though she didn't deserve help and would've had her case closed. I'm not saying that being turned down for help (if she ever was) legitimates in any way what she has done but it will be interesting to see whether she did ever seek help or whether she kept all her fears and frustrations to herself, then just snapped.

I was lucky as I was offered a sw from the word go. was offered counselling but said no thanks. could se how talking to a complete stranger was going to help, no like they had a magic wand ffs.

I do wonder why excuse have to be made. why people have to search fro reasons why this woman murdered her lovely child. is it because we can't bear to think someone would just do it out of spite or because they didn't love their child?
do we find the end result easier to accept if we can excuse it?
(I use we for all of us)

(sorry about typos ds decided to come and look for something and I didn't proof read )

(sorry about typos ds decided to come and look for something and I didn't proof read )

Perhaps it's not so much looking for an excuse as a reason, I think it's human nature to want to rationalise events such as this. ONOH, perhaps we will never really learn why this woman committed this dreadful act.

well that just about sums up our caring society!

It has just occured to me - this women is on trial for murder ie innocent till proved guilty. We have only heard reporters version of the prosecutions case and the prosecutions assumptions. The reported facts are that the child drowned, her mother was with her (so responsable) and then drove around for many hours before going to hospital. It is the prosecution that say she deliberatly held her under the water. We do not know what happened. It sounds compelling and condemming - that is the prosecutions job.
I am remembering a couple of other very tragic cases - well known because the mothers were painted by the prosecution as evil child murderers, (and convicted and sent to prison) when it later proved unusual natural deaths occured (the little 3 year old boy with the unknown but fatal salt intolerance, the terrible case of the 3 cot deaths in a row that really were cot deaths) I cannot recall the names, but the faces of the children and the wrongly villified mothers haunt me.
Child death upsets us all - we would not be human if it didn't. But we should not vilify this women - at least not yet!
OK I'll duck now!!!

There's another horrific case of parents murdering their child, and this child was known to be at risk. Yet SS seemingly were either powerless or were not sufficiently involved to stop the mother and step father (and another adult) doing what they did.

www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/crime/article4718109.ece

Different circumstances, same outcome.

Trite to say it, but it appears from so many of us there is no/ very little support out there.

When ds was assessed, we saw a SW, she wrote in her report that we wouldn't need to see her again (or words to that effect). We have never been offered counselling. After what happened to my friend I am wary of seeing a GP...

Riven,very sorry to read your message.
You are very brave.
I hope that some good comes out of this tragic case,and that we get the right support early.That little girl deserved a life,her innocent enthusiasm on the photo is heart rending.Sorry to be dramatic,but God rest her soul

the other case is apalling and very sad.
poor little chap.

Thanks for the advice.

I was only relating what happened to a friend of mine, I don't recall saying I'm depressed?

Just thought this article was very enlightening as to the mother's likely state of mind link.

It sounds very much as if she was mentally ill rather than "embarrassed" by her daughter's disability as the prosecution suggested.

I'm really annoyed that the papers etc have put so much emphasis on her being 'embarrassed' - especially in light of that link.