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SN children

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Original poster

This story is so sad......... and awful too.......

117 replies

lottiejenkins · 08/09/2008 18:53

www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/2008/09/08/mum-could-not-cope-with-disabled-daughter-91466-217 05000/

OP posts:

binkythebullet · 09/09/2008 19:26

I think if she does have a case for diminished responsibility then she deserves our sympathy - poor, poor woman (and wee girl). I hope that this is the case, as I can't bear to think about it being completely pre-meditated .

sarah293 · 09/09/2008 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TotalChaos · 09/09/2008 19:39

horrible story. having a child of a similar age with mild sn I struggle to sympathise with this woman. But I suppose maybe evidence of untreated severe mental illness may well appear at trial.

MannyMoeAndJack · 09/09/2008 19:43

'I never cover dd's afo's or feel embaressed about her wheelchair, or mine for that matter.'

But this just highlights how differently this particular woman felt about her dd's disability. Everyone handles life in their own way (I often muse on how other people would be able to live with my ds!) and it's a shame that this woman didn't seek help about her feelings (I'm assuming here that she didn't of course).

2shoes · 09/09/2008 21:32

bbc
if you read this account it does seem the mother had problems.
no excuse imo
but gives a slightly clearer picture.

Blu · 09/09/2008 21:42

Riven- yes, re the people 'let off' for killing disabled children, I know. And who knows what will happen when a judgement is made in this case. But the prosecution seem to be emphasising that this was not a 'mitigating' circumstance....and the way 'mild cp' is stressed.

Actually, I twitched at that a bit - it sort of implies that it would be a bit different (more understandable or something) if severe cp (for instance) was the childs condition.

2shoes · 09/09/2008 21:47

I think the disability should be irelevant. a child is a child ffs.

Blu · 09/09/2008 21:49

What I mean is, I'm not disagreeing with you about the currency of disabled children's lives in some court cases, just that in this case they (the reporters, at this stage) seem to be emphasising is that the child's disability could not be a 'reason' for such irrational action. And that by emphasising the nature of her condition they cut off sympathy fom the sort of person wh might have found it 'understandable' had the child been more severely disabled.

Blu · 09/09/2008 21:50

2Shoes - yes - absolutely - that is the main and only point. I don't want to take anything away fom that.

2shoes · 09/09/2008 21:54

I do hope you are right.
sadly you only have to see some of the posts on the main board, to realise some people do not value a disabled childs life as being the same as a nt one.
check out the news topic.
no mention of this story. yet it was on the 6 oclock news.(didn't watch it as dd was in the room)
yet if it had been a nt child............

SammyK · 09/09/2008 21:57

That poor little girl, and her poor dad - he must be heart broken.

batters · 09/09/2008 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2shoes · 09/09/2008 22:07

very sad but true

wannaBe · 09/09/2008 22:28

how sad.

But it makes me very uncomfortable when people bring out the mental illness card when someone does something as unthinkable as this. It just seems all too easy to suggest that someone who could murder their own child must have been mentally ill, but the reality is that there are people out there who are capable of deliberately murdering their own children, for whatever reason.

I find it very hard to have any sympathy for her. She was embarrassed by the child's disability. She wanted to have her adopted. It's not the first time a mother has had such an adverse reaction to having a disabled child (julia Hollander anyone?). But she could have left. The little girl's father loved her, the mother didn't have to stay. Why didn't she just leave? Why did she have to kill her child?

2shoes · 09/09/2008 22:29

the word evil springs to mind

milge · 09/09/2008 22:47

please don't underestimate the shock of having a child with disabilities, all those people who think the poor lady is a witch.

She may well have been suffering from some sort of ptsd and deserves our sympathy, not our condemnation.
It really saddens me to see such vitriol on the sn board.
I cannot rationally understand why she didn;t just leave, but its as plain as the nose on my face that the poor woman was mentally ill, no doubt in some shape or form caused by her daughters ( albeit mild) cp and incapable of rational thought.

There but for the grace of God go we.

Pixel · 09/09/2008 22:58

I think since the little girl was 4 years old she might have had time to get over the 'shock' though.

edam · 09/09/2008 23:17

Fair point about this not being in the news section - I looked there first when I saw this story on the Beeb and was surprised there was no thread.

AnnVan · 09/09/2008 23:59

There seems to be a real rash of mums killing their children in the news lately - the woman in US who microwaved her baby, this lady, and then one in the paper today, who broke her little boy's back. The injuries he had I couldn't finish reading the article it was so horrific.

I don't really know what to think in this lady's case. Surely there has to be something wrong with you to deliberately kill your own child? Also they said she drove round for hours with the little girl in the car, after killing her. That sounds like something in this lady snapped.

mm22bys · 10/09/2008 06:56

I agree with Cap and Fio, and it's interesting that JH has been brought up here.

Mothers who can't cope for whatever reason are condemned even here...

My first response when I heard the story yesterday was poor woman. I think it says a lot more for our society, her embarrassment for one thing, and what support was she getting?

We don't know all the story yet....

sarah293 · 10/09/2008 07:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TinySocks · 10/09/2008 07:49

This story has made me feel sick, it even brought tears to DH's eyes (who never cries).

What is there to be embarrassed about?

This child was not given a chance to fulfil her potential in this world. I just cannot understand how a mother can kill her own child, a little 4 year old.

I was watching the paralympics last night thinking well done to all those parents who have given their children support and confidence in themselves to excel in this way and my thoughts went to this little girl,who knows what she would have achieved had her mother given her the chance.

Original poster

lottiejenkins · 10/09/2008 08:57

MM2 If a Mother cant cope she should surely tell someone before she feels the need to kill her child?

OP posts:

TotalChaos · 10/09/2008 09:17

lottie - IME if you say something to a GP like you feel very stressed by your child's problems they do bugger all - just nod and move on to the next easier issue. So she may well have expressed difficulty with coping to health pros without it ringing any alarm bells or getting any extra attention for her or the family.

mm22bys · 10/09/2008 09:29

IME (or rather a friend's experience) if you tell a GP you're feeling down or depressed or whatever, they put you in a mental ward for the weekend.

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