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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

2 people in the last week have asked me whether my ds has adhd!

309 replies

essbee · 20/02/2005 19:23

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essbee · 26/02/2005 21:15

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essbee · 26/02/2005 21:18

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ScummyMummy · 26/02/2005 21:19

Wish I had some more ideas, mts. I agree with Roisin that essbee seems to have done everything within her power to access support. The only other ideas I have are:
Can parentline write to camhs for you, essbee? Can your GP chase them?
Is it worth getting a referral to a generic children and families social work team such as a family support team?

Original poster
essbee · 26/02/2005 21:27

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ScummyMummy · 26/02/2005 21:41

I think it's really, really key to try to keep seeing it from your little boy's point of view, essbee, as far as you possibly can. And I can't even imagine how hard and painful that may be for you to do. As far as I can guess there could be lots of reasons for his behaviour- it may be trauma from the domestic violence he witnessed/heard. It may be his relationship with his dad. It may be a developmental delay or disability of some kind. It may be sheer naughtiness sometimes. It may be diet. It may be attention seeking. It may a mixture of all these and more and probably is. He sounds like a complex little boy to me. I think the important thing to hang onto is that he's a lovely little boy too. I bet that's hard to hang on to when this kind of crap is occuring day after day after day. But if you can hang on to it to any extent whatsoever then do. It will mean the world to him and may be protective in all sorts of ways. You da (wo)man for him, hon, you really are, no matter how defiant he seems and acts. He really needs to know you think well of him, even while you are enforcing firm, reasonable boundaries.

Btw, have you asked these peeps if they have any services to offer your son? Could be helpful?

Jimjams · 26/02/2005 22:01

oh no essbee (not sleeping before 12- for me that makes all the difference- much sympathy coming your way as I hate it when he's up until that time).

I think if you could get a social worker it might make all the difference. A warning though I have found dealing wiith SS incredibly frustrating and a stress in itself. if you are feeling low it might be an idea to get someone to help you with this.

I don't think that HV have official input in children of 7, supposedly they have been transferred to the school nurse system. There are huge staff shortages of school nurses but you should be able to request and appointment. Would be worth doing as what you need is someone to help you access the supprot your son needs. If you have a gen of a nurse she may help a lot.

Thinking of you. Do you have access to a paediatrician? If your son is often up late it might be worth asking about melatonin.

Jimjams · 26/02/2005 22:05

oh dear my typing. gem of a nurse.....

Has your son seen a paediatrician- I've forgotton- sorry- if not that may be the best place to start as things are easier to access with a dx, although you shoulnd't need one to get help from SS>

Original poster
essbee · 27/02/2005 18:13

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MummytoSteven · 27/02/2005 18:43

hi there, sorry to hear about your stressful end of night. i am happy to contact SS on your behalf if that would be any help to you. gut reaction re:ex - i really can't see him being at all helpful, given his prior history of critical/aggressive behaviour to you.

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essbee · 27/02/2005 22:26

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essbee · 28/02/2005 21:35

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Blossomhill · 28/02/2005 21:35

Essbee What's happened???

JanH · 28/02/2005 21:37

Oh dear, essbee - msn won't let me log on or I'd chat - what's up?

wobblyknicks · 28/02/2005 21:40

Msn has kicked me out too, else I would have chatted (managed to say hello to you at least, lol!!!). Shout at me, I'm still a teeny bit numbed from the dentist so I won't notice

roisin · 28/02/2005 21:42

Essbee, what's happened?

Blossomhill · 28/02/2005 21:46

Essbee are you around still???

Original poster
essbee · 28/02/2005 21:52

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Blossomhill · 28/02/2005 21:54

Oh Essbee - I am just exhausted reading your post so god only knows how you must feel

How is ds at Beavers? Does he cope okay there?

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essbee · 28/02/2005 21:56

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JanH · 28/02/2005 22:00

I was going to ask about Beavers too - reading that exhausted me as well, BH!

But the Beaver leaders deal with him OK as far as you know? That's something.

You poor love. Is DD coping with all this?

Blossomhill · 28/02/2005 22:01

Isn't that the worse when a child tells you. Last week in dd's playground a little girl came up and said "*** is such a naughty girl" I just looked at her (very childish I know) and said "no she isn't"!!!!
Dd does have some behavioural issues but it's mainly things like not sitting in her chair, calling things out in assembly and make act up if she misunderstands a situation. I spoke to the unit staff and they said that dd was far from naughty and that she may have called out in assembly and small children automatically think that you are either naughty or good, black and white kind of thinking.

roisin · 28/02/2005 22:03

I don't know what to say Essbee

Did you manage to re-arrange an appt with GP?

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essbee · 28/02/2005 22:05

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essbee · 28/02/2005 22:08

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Blossomhill · 28/02/2005 22:08

How much longer are you expected to deal with this essbee??? I think unless you scream at someone nobody will listen.
When dd was 2 the pros tried so hard to fob me off. She doesn't talk becasue her brother talks for her, she'll catch up blah de blah. I knew in my heart something wasn't right. had to really, really push ( and I know it's not easy). I am so pleased I did as I have got so much help and support in place.
Once you get the help and support it does open doors, I promise.