Just a very quick question re: stimming

[Chocol8]

Sorry for my ignorance, but could I just ask - does stimming only apply to a physical movement or do noises count as stimming too?

My ds has more recently been making alot of noises either in between speaking and also eating (also cleaning teeth). I used to do this when I was younger and it used to drive my Mum bonkers.

CHOCS-AWAY!!!!!!!

Good luck- keep us up-to-date!

I went to a very small primary school this afternoon - the first of 3 I want to see. Well, I nearly cried! It's perfect! There are only 150 pupils and one class per year group (also my Dad went to this school and he is now 70!)

They hold assemblies for the parents every Friday morning and have a massive board for achievements and if they win a gold award they have a teaparty with the headmistress to celebrate. The children were EXTREMELY polite and the school deal with any issues early on rather than just point the finger and shout. I'm in lurrrrve!

It is near to my work so ds could come with me every day by car or by train (cos of the snow, or whatever) and I am nearby in case I am needed.

I don't even think that he'll need to be statemented if he was in this sort of environment. We both have a viewing next Friday (I hope this doesn't confuse him too much).

Also today ds said there was a "school inspector" came to the classroom and asked him lots of questions and wrote notes. I figured this must be the LEA Advisor for SEN, and it was. I received a letter in his sachel to say she has been in and met with ds and wants to discuss her findings next Friday.

What do you reckon? Will she just back up the head and say that they will not statement him?
Don't know why I am bothered as I am definitely moving him - probably after the Easter break.

The school sounds perfect. I like the sound of the tea parties with the Head. Awwww! I imagine my ds1's Head would rather gouge out her own eyes than have a tea party with any of the children.

PMSL Coppertop! Why would she do that - doesn't she like children????

When the parents are about she puts on a bit of a show but she still can't seem to smile properly. It's a kind of fixed grimace with bared teeth.

I've had so many conversations with the CDC team where they've tried to be polite about her but as soon as I've made a not-so-nie comment they grin and say "Well I'm glad you said that! We're not allowed to but......"

Chocol, that is such GREAT NEWS. Sounds perfect. So pleased for you.

Why cant all schools be like that????? Certainly sounds like they have impressed you. Just hope they do the same for ds.

So gald it went well.....have been thnking of you.

XXXXXX

Love the desciption "kind of fixed grimace with bared teeth" - good look for Summer so i'm told!

Perhaps she is really a cyborg in disguise Coppertop?

JakB and Jaysmum - thank you for your thoughts! I am greatly encouraged to think there are actually schools like this in this town. Yes, that's a good thought Jaysmum, they SHOULD all be like that! You're right.

So pleased Choc but do you think there will be a place, statement or not? It would be great, you won't have to trudge round all those schools and you'll be all relaxed for meet-up in March!

There is definitely a place Davros! They have 2 places in his year group/class.

I told my Dad before and he said that when I write the letter to the head/governors to put something like "I would just like to thank you very much for the opportunity to look for another school as we have found one which are more than willing to accommodate ds's needs, and without you, this would never have happened". I may use this as an introduction to my very scathing letter.

Is tomorrow's meet up definitely off or are there a select few who are still meeting?

THAT SOUNDS IDEAL!!!

Wonderful Choc! As far as I know the meet-up is off. Prob just as well looking at the weather. Still to agree another date......

Just a quick update: I took my ds to see his new school yesterday and he really liked it although it was a bit confusing for him.

On one hand he was worried about what the new head would think of him (would he be too tall, would she think he should have blonde hair not dark etc). Because of that he didn't make much eye contact with her and told me at one point told me that we shouldn't disagree in front of the head!

On the other, he was confused about the timings - he thought he was starting the next day (even though it was Saturday) and seemed very disappointed that he wasn't. Now, today he has forgotten all about it until I reminded him by asking if he'd told his cousin.

He will miss his friends but will see alot of them at Beavers once a week, so hopefully he won't feel he is missing out too much. There is only one class per year group in the new school, so I am sure this will give him a better chance of making very good friends.

I had the meeting with the SEN at the LEA yesterday morning just prior to the school visit and I found her lovely. I told her that I was moving schools and the reasons why. The old head (bag) requested to come into the meeting for the first few minutes. I could have refused (wish I had of now) but I figured this was the last time I would have to see her. She was overbearing, very talkative and actually came out in a rash on her neck when I challenged her on several points that I had looked into and proved her wrong. It was good to see her squirm. At the end of the meeting, I just couldn't look at her when she spoke to me - I was really scared that I would throttle her. The woman is AWFUL and I think that she didn't come across very well infront of the LEA woman either. Apparently the SEN said she could taste the bitterness in the room.

I will write to inform her of my ds's change of school on Monday - I am not sad and I think she'll be quite happy that she's managed to get rid of another SN child from her precious school.

Anyway, hope I don't sound too awful - but it really was an terrible meeting. On the positive, ds will start his new school after Easter and is looking forward to it - when he remembers!

So glad for ds Choco....I had been thinking of you.

Would have loved to see the she witch squirm....just so glad you will soon be free of her.

Take care.

Hope it goes well. Sounds like you will be well shot of the old school.

Awwww! I had to smile at your ds wondering whether he should have blonde hair instead. Bless him.

Hopefully that's the last time you'll have to sit in a meeting with the witch.

It's great that ds has a place lined up.

Thanks girls - yes, if nothing else, that thought is a lovely one! I have drafted a letter to the head - any thoughts please?
I don't want to tell her at this stage what the new school is, because I am sure she will call them and slag me off (and ds too). But here it is:

Dear Mrs XXXX

I am writing to inform you that XXXX is changing schools. I think it would be beneficial that he spends a couple of Friday afternoons at his new school before the end of term so he can get to know his classmates. The dates will be XXth and XXth March. XXX's last day at XXXXXX school will be XXth March.

Yours sincerely

Hi chocol, just reading your threads and picked out some words which she used in the meeting about your child. She sounds like a woman with a PROBLEM, if you scrutinise what she said about you being rude, etc. Obviously this woman has a chip on her shoulder or is plainly intimidated by a parent who knows what they want. When your child is nicely settled in a new school and you feel better about him, would you make a complaint about this woman? God help another parent who dosent "have it together" like you. She would wipe the floor with them and really end up hurting their child. Plainly she is a bitch and sounds like you were dealing with "her" issues, more than your child's and your own.

If you look at what precipitates a school functionary to act like that, what could it be? Lack of funding, mental problems, plain ignorance? Why should you have to be at the receiving end of such behaviour? Did you tape the conversation? Tape recorder is very useful.

Sounded like a clash of personalities as much as anything else and she is probably used to railroading parents into what "she" wants. You came prepared and they didnt expect it or want that.

So sorry about it, but thank you for letting us all know in case it happens to us.

Chocol if you want to be a "bitch in kind" maybe you could let all special needs orgs know the attitude of the person (in a nice way) and ask them for advice on what one should do in such a situation. You could do it in a nice letter, being strictly to the point but letting them know that parents are getting a tough time at this school, and what "should" you have done, etc etc. I sure wouldnt want to be the parent following you who had to deal with this crone. You may be saving someone excruciating pain in the future.

Maddie - oh yes, I do intend to take this awful situation further, but only when ds is settled into his new school and happy. I am going to make one stinking mess that she will find it hard to dig herself out of. As you say, I am duty bound to do it to protect the other 600 odd kids in her "care". She has failed my ds and that is just not good enough. I didn't want to put any details in the notice letter as I will be saying a whole lot more when I write the "long" letter.

I will be writing to the LEA, Chairperson of the Govs and cc-ing her.

It is a clash of personalities I agree, but I went there looking for help and answers and all I got was verbal abuse - and I do find it hard to take that from a woman who is supposed to at least act professionally in her position of authority.

Because of this, I will be taking the matter very much further. Thank you for your support - I think that some may wonder why I want to make trouble for myself by continuing this but I know I cannot let it rest until I have warned others about this very ignorant, stupid woman. x

Hi, not wanting to steal your thunder so to speak, but i started a thread in the special needs section about "bitch" teachers. Remembered how i was treated in school and wanted to share it.

Maybe you could contact your local paper and ask them if they are interested in a story about sn kids and the school system, what obstacles you have encountered and what success you have achieved. NO names or places, but would be an eye opener for others in your situation. Its so hard when you come up against bureaucracy.

Good news Choc. I think the letter is fine given that you will prob take the other issues further later on. Do you need to cc the LEA and new school? I would just so they know you have sent an uncontroversial letter.

Yeah, good point Davros - that could be helpful, thanks, I will do that.

Mama -sorry I completely cocked up your lovely name (memory of a goldfish!!!), I was thinking of doing a newspaper piece but will see what I can do first in regards to letter writing. Am really thinking of speaking to my MP too.

I was recounting Friday's conversation to my sister and thinking back, I did actually pick her up on quite a few things - for example she had told me that a home/school book could not be used as "evidence" for statementing. So I very politely asked the LEA officer to correct me if I was wrong and that they could indeed be used as evidence...the witch had blotches all over her neck and chest by the time she left the room. Serves her right too. I am not a vindictive person but I refuse for my ds or I to be treated like this. Will check out your thread Mama, thanks.

I have been glued to the thread for the last half hour or so reading all the posts - Please promise to update us all after easter when you write the long letter.