I've just seen the later messages and thought I'd update. (Thanks for caring).
DS started on the Risperidone and we were fairly surely we could see a lessening of aggression after a week so, as suggested by the paediatrician we doubled the daily dose to doses (to two tiny 0.25/ml doses per day). However, a side effect we thought we'd noticed became more obvious on the double dose; he became much less about to get his words out and he's seriously challenged in that area anyway. It was getting so that we couldn't understand what he was saying and we always understand him even when others don't. Even if much of what he says he toddler-like waffle we still take pleasure in being able to verbally communicate. He seemed quite disturbed by it too and started to almost frantically use more Makaton than before.
So I discussed it with paediatrican on phone and she agreed that it wasn't suitable for him and this just reiterates how very sensitive he is because only one other of her patients had had this problem and then only after 2 years on it.
He was also a little lethargic, which I think was why he was less likely to hit out/bite etc. Still hyperactive by 'normal' standards but less bounce/oomph in him which made me feel very sad/quilty as I knew it was just because we were medicating all the life out of him! He also kept saying he "wasn't well" which I think was his way of saying he felt "different" or "odd" because he wasn't actually exhibiting "ill" symptoms. And even on the full dose though he was not beyond giving us a bite/kick/hair pull at times although if I'm honest it was less often.
He's now off it. We weaned him off over a few days. His speech is back to "normal for him" which is a relief.
We're coping because we our SWA also got us a cancellation at the respite centre so we had 4 days/nights last week (!) and he's at an SN fun club this week, 10 - 3, Mon - Fri which makes everything more manageable. (We're using the time to try to create a garden which we badly need and will make life easier for wehat's left of the summer!)Next week we'll be back to having the agency ladies come in on a Tues and Fri. They are not actually funded by DPs after all; they're paid straight from social serices. We don't give us all the hours promised as they don't seem to be avaialble that for that long per time but it's a helluver lot more than we've ever had before and DS likes them! They are quite funny (as in off not haha!)- one doesn't speak (much, well to us!) and the other never stops taking!!
We're ok. We're doing alright. The future worries remain but I am back to getting by from day to day (as opposed to not really getting by) and that takes up most of my thoughts - that and dealing with day to day stuff.
Thank you for your input Davros. That's really quite inspiring and I can see why you see your solution as the right thing for you all. I can imagine getting to that stage too; I would like to know that if we did go down the residiential route one da it would be seen as the "right thing for DS" as well/even more than for us.
I love him very much and keep telling him so. He is a lovely little boy. I just wish we didn't have the nastiness to cope with but I suppose that's part of him.