I'm so fed up and frustrated to reach this half year waiting point. I really want to believe to that last lady who seemed empathetic and take it seriously and really marked it like an emergency. And just believe I will finally get that decision next week, but I'm loosing any hope. I really do not want to complain, but starting to take it a bit too personal like neglected.
I had an amazing day with my little one, picking up his glasses, then attending assembly as he was nominated for an award. He's autistic and takes a lot of my energy and nerves, but sometimes gives back so much. He's very popular in school as everybody knows him from early ages with loads of screaming.. it has changed and progressed a bit in different ways how his coping.. but school and class mates have always been so caring. He's tiny for his age, very social and loves being recognised, a bit too competitive. Anyways when he went on stage 'she show' his making of it and how he makes everyone happy and laugh with his comments and moves. There's something magic about that autism and how they see the world etc. I got even emotional in good way to see him on that stage, so much pureness and love.. smiling and waving. At those moments that sorrow kicks in about his dad as well. He would be so happy and proud. He passed away way before we started recognise signs of autism and that he could be on spectrum. I remember 2 years ago when I found out my first thought was O wish I could call to my late husband and tell it makes sense, as we noticed that his different, but were confused why.
My apologies for this long outburst 🤦🏻♀️🫣🤭