DLA WAIT TIME THREAD 41

[Fee89]

Chat and wait 🌸

Thanks... really appreciate it 🙏🏼 I have typed down my letter and just needs to be checked by hubby.
And mentally I have to make sure to not let it affect me too much. I still have that tendency to shut down when super anxious and stressed. Still being like: my kids..my problem, even though my husband now is an amazing step dad to my boys.

It'a hard to let down that wall. And it does take time to accept that help. But with your husband your both a team. It took me a long time with my husband as i was single mum and strong minded. As the saying goes 'A problem shared is a problem halved' xx

You're so right about that wall 🧱 I'm still struggling to ask or accept that help.

P. S Found myself to be even a bit angry to my late husband today (I know I shouldn't) 🤦🏻‍♀️

You are putting yourself down for having feelings/emotions. You are allowed to feel what your feeling 🩷. Relax on judging yourself. Be angry, shout, scream, punch a pillow. You are an amazing mummy and that clearly shows through how you are feeling xx

Thanks for being you and for being this threads 'strong shoulder' ..to always care for others even after finally being awarded yourself 🫂

This might be the wrong thread, but does anyone know of any online support groups for parents with ASD

@Matilde08 Im sticking around till you all get awarded. You were all there when i went on a moan.

@WaitTimeWarrior I dont know of any groups but most of us on here have children with asd. We are happy to help and support should you want us to 🥰

I actually got sent one today as I couldn’t attend courses due to childcare x https://www.familylinks.org.uk/resources-for-parents

I received a general text to say they are dealing with the claim and there's no need to be in touch. I had the same text for my daughters claim and a letter with the decision was sent 12 days later. Is that text usually a sign the claim is with a DM or has anyone else received it and still waited a while for a decision?

Thank you, it can get really lonely when other people don't understand the extra stress we go through. My DS3 is my fourth child but first on the spectrum so it's all new to me and my husband is less than helpful when it comes to our sons needs

Trust me you are not alone 🩷. I remember with my eldest feeling it was a lonely system and having no one to talk to without having to explain a back story. And even then half people couldnt care less as its not them going through it. What support network do you have around you? Any groups in your local area? Around my area asd parents meet once a week for a coffe morning xx

Where vaguely are you based, @WaitTimeWarrior? I know of a group in Merseyside / Sefton.

THIS!! Honestly you are not alone in this feeling, I took my two boys shopping on Thursday and we were in boots and my youngest (19 months old) was brilliant yet my 3 year old (suspected ASD and ADHD, also non verbal and eats non edible items) was getting frustrated as he wanted to go a certain way in the shop, he was in the pushchair and wanted to get out but it was very busy and he runs off and has no danger awareness so I kept him in the pushchair for his own safety, at least I knew he was safe and could deal with the screaming, however, a lady told me to “shut him up” was telling me I don’t care about him and he’s upsetting people shopping.. well let me tell you mama lioness came out🤣 people do not understand what we go through and what we have to do!

I hope you throat punched her 😠

I did in my head🤣 had to walk away for the sake of my boys when i felt myself getting too angry shouting at her in the middle of boots😂🙃

Id of rammed pram into her and been like opps me and my bad parenting 😂

Exactly! When you do explain, people are just don't care. Minimal support, OH is not supportive more of a hindrance, we are under the under 5s team, and hopefully he is joining a setting soon after multiple refusals. We don't have any coffee mornings this way, I have asked the under 5s team but nothing local.

I'm in North devon

You’re brilliant🤣🤣🤣🤣 I just stood there in the middle of shouting and just let him scream and told her just to annoy her I’m gonna stand here and let him do what he wants..🤣

That is awful! Our sons sound very similar as mine like to eat everything, lick everything, goes up to strangers and touches them and runs off.
Some people are just so rude! There is little understanding of a child generally struggling to process the world around them and one that is having a temporary moment of 'playing up', it's sad as my son is a good boy and he's just struggling

Yeah my boy eats anything he can, wrappers, paper, cardboard, plaster off the walls, labels, licks cleaning products off his hands, so strange, my boy will run in to roads or open the door and run off, he has no idea the dangers of anything it’s awful, he hits out and bites me and his younger brother, when strangers try to help me with him, he hits them. I get it! And yes 100%, there is such a difference. But yeah it breaks you doesn’t it, when my son has his moments of wanting a cuddle he is so so loving, he just gets so frustrated. Fingers crossed our boys get what they deserve hey x

Next time just smile and say 'I'd agree with you but then we'd both look like idiots' and walk off. Me on other hand id throat punch her for you then play tag around boots with your son while screaming with him.......okay maybe hubby is right 🤔 i am petty 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

It’s settled then, I’m taking you with me next time🤣🤣

Hopefully we do, I'm still in for a long wait but hope you get something soon.

On my way 😂.
On a serious note, i can giggle and joke now but my eldest is 17, iv been through it ALL. The touch sensory, screaming, kicking off. Safey plans put in place, police called on her, family worker involved, almost kicked out off school, locks on cupboards to lock sharps, taken her to a&e for self harming. Its bloody lonely and i had to have thick skin because for years i got the blame for being a young mum. Now my youngest is going through pathway and im already mentally closing down doing these stupid questions. If you dont laugh you will cry and i refuse to waste tears over strangers. Yes im blunt, yes i have no filter.......but these people that judge dont know me or my children. For all they know that could off been a great day for you and they have just spoilt one great day out of 10 hell days xx