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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

Mail on Sunday Magazine

1010 replies

lottiejenkins · 02/03/2008 23:23

I found this article today..........I thought it was very moving,,,, what a decision that lady made... dont think i could do it though!
www.mailonsunday.co.uk/pages/you/article.html?in_article_id=522925&in_page_id=1908

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 10/03/2008 21:53

Sorry, Talies, but PMSL at your efforts to 'help' yurt.

If you hang round, you'll soon discover what a font of knowledge she is.

yurt1 · 10/03/2008 21:54

Well stop treating us like some poor little stupid people who couldn;t possibly understand how the dark and wicked system works.

I know of some fantastic adult continuing education provision (and one reason I would consider it for ds1 is because it's so much better than local available day provision). The main problem is getting SS to fund it. But I'm pretty confident that if that's where we decide we want ds1 to go then he will go there. He won't go anywhere crap anyway.

I don't need to be talked through the system. I know how it works. I deal with it (sorry for not fitting the stereotype of being on my knees and desperate for help).

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 10/03/2008 21:54

Thing is, I'm NOT revolted by DS. Not even secretly. As I've said he really does drive me to exhuausted despair, but he has never revolted me. I love him so much I could cry.. daily!

Why would it be routinely assumed that we "all" have this shameful feeling deep down about our disabled children? I just don't understand.

theheadgirl · 10/03/2008 21:55

Talies - this is an open forum, but most of us are transparent in our viewpoint as parents of kids with SN.
where are you coming from? why won't you be open.
Cos until you do, what you say does sound patronising......

yurt1 · 10/03/2008 21:56

I find the idea that we're all revolted by our children but too ashamed to admit it creepy. Not to mention weird.

Taliesintraction · 10/03/2008 21:59

Sorry expat,

I freely confess to being the newbie here.

Mad as it might sound I am really enjoying this group.

Having your views challenged is very useful I feel.

Fire away everyone, I won't take it personally so long as you attack my views and not me as a person.

yurt1 · 10/03/2008 22:05

Oh OK i know who you are Talies. And you're not new.

Oblomov · 10/03/2008 22:06

Talies - Thats why mumsnet is so great. So addictive.
I don't actually mind her not coping, or having her child fostered. But it is all done in such a chillingly cold hearted way. And if she said, I did this. I could say, o.k. I would/wouldn't but....
But she comes across as ... so arrogant, among other things.
I know this thread - and the other thread are very long, but have you actually understood what peoples main objections are ?

Oblomov · 10/03/2008 22:07

Not a newbie ?
Have I been misled ?
Am I being a bit stupid here ?

Taliesintraction · 10/03/2008 22:08

Head girl,

I am scared to say what i do.

I was cast as various things then in each case in the next sentence the role I had was described negatively.

I was accused of expressing views about carers and parents that I never have never held.

People seem to answer the case they wish i had made rather than the one I have.

Oblomov · 10/03/2008 22:08

yurt, please spill the beans.

wannaBe · 10/03/2008 22:09

oooooh.

Taliesintraction · 10/03/2008 22:10

No Oblomov,

I joined up here yesterday.

Been around the block a few times but not on here.

Oblomov · 10/03/2008 22:11

do-do-do-do
oooohhh it gets more intriguing, as we go on ...........

wannaBe · 10/03/2008 22:14

I do think I've seen the writing style before but don't know where.

yurt email me?

Mamazon · 10/03/2008 22:24

well i am going to take my self righteous self off to bed.

if you figure out newbie isn't a newbie can someone let me know who it is

yurt1 · 10/03/2008 22:25

You're on TTR Mamazon aren't you?

Mamazon · 10/03/2008 22:28

yup

monkeypie · 10/03/2008 22:30

Just saw this part 2 can't do a link sorry but it was here
timesonline.typepad.com/india_knight/2008/03/julia-hollander.html

We?re all muddling through as best we can; our reward is anything from a hug from a ?normal? child to the painstaking ghost of a smile from the immobile face of one who is not. Anyone who feels unable to grasp this should get their tubes tied, pronto. And Hollander should give up writing books, stop pretending that everything?s fine and get the help she so clearly needs.

Interesting!?

Mamazon · 10/03/2008 22:40

link here

time4me · 10/03/2008 22:41

Back again,half asleep reading this fantastic thread.I have have felt some strong emotions around my son,but more despair directed towards myself.Revolted is not a word I have ever use or will ever use.
Sadly it is probably an emotion others might feel.Ive seen David Cameron and his wife around his profoundly disabled son and they so obviously adore him,and Nancy their daughter was so attentive and loving towards him.Yes they do have loads of money but I still feel they have presented an alternative picture,come on David lets see some more pictures of all your family,if possible.One or two more pictures are creeping into the press. There is a book that got me through the first weeks,it would have helped Julia and Jay.Its called Does she know shes here? about a very similar family who kept their baby.Thats it except thanks to the regulars like Yurt,2shoes,heart in the country,thank you so much.You have no idea how much you have helped me,I dont feel so alone.If only Julia could have met you,she would be in a different place.

jonkat · 10/03/2008 22:46

mamazon

I used no 'disgusting' terms - what I did was (and as a professional person you, I would have thought, should be able to have seen the difference) was to quote other mothers of DC that I have spoken to.

i.e. their words - not mine - do you understand the difference now ?

jonkat

Mamazon · 10/03/2008 22:49

which of us has not (at some dark hour of the night) felt revolted by what we have produced ? Be honest now...........OK I know I foster ours and did not give birth to them so it is very different for me."

you used collective terms. US/WE involves yourself in this train of thought. you implied that you were one of us

you tried to suggest that we also felt this way, that is disgusting.

yurt1 · 10/03/2008 22:49

Jonkat you didn't make it remotely clear that you were quoting. And professional person or not I assume mamazon is no mind reader.

And anyway, even if you were quoting I find it somewhere between odd and horrific (and actually quite warped) that you think it so normal that parents think that way about their children that you thought it appropriate to reproduce here.

2shoes · 10/03/2008 22:50

As for the breast pump thing, which of us has not (at some dark hour of the night) felt revolted by what we have produced ? Be honest now...........OK I know I foster ours and did not give birth to them so it is very different for me

you posted that
the you said later it was what someone else said

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