Primary School Auties 10: Summer and beyond 2022

[LightTripper]

Thread 10.

Ooops, sorry, filled up the last thread without noticing - here we are at THREAD 10!! (How did that happen?)

This is a thread for the parents & carers of children with additional needs. Most of us have autistic/ADHD children in primary school, but anybody is welcome to join us to chat x

Links to previous threads below.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed
Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2
Thread 3
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3
Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4
Thread 5
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1
Thread 6
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1
Thread 7
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7
Thread 8
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4422100-Primary-school-auties-step-into-Christmas-and-the-New-Year-thread-8
Thread 9
www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4502988-Primary-school-auties-thread-9-spring-summer-2022

DS' old school is a major trigger for him. We can't walk that way home anymore because as soon as he sees it, he starts the hyper behaviours. It's like a pattern for him, probably from the trauma though tbf, I will never forgive them the emotional trauma they caused DS and me.

Uno scarlet fever sounds horrid hope that you are both fully recovered soon.

Carrie I missed your post re epilepsy before. Fingers crossed the weaning off goes well. Coincidentally I was taking to DS's consultant yesterday, he has been seizure free for 6 months and Dr said if all carries on as it is at the moment then after 2 years we will see what happens without Epilim

Was coming on here to rant so thank you all for kicking my arse with your updates, particularly uno re impact of previous school (I feel awful I didn't move DC earlier) and dimples re single life (absolutely agree re not imagining sharing at present and child's random wishful statements!) Your posts all remind me to stop wallowing and get on with sorting shite out ... well once I've finished this sharing pack if maltesers anyway 😂

StarDog don’t be too hard on yourself. Your feelings are valid and you can’t be ‘on’ all the time.

Stardog please rant away. We all need to let off steam with people who get it

Any good Christmas book recommendations?

For adults!

Not Christmas themed, but I've just finished the Inheritance Games trilogy, which was great fun. Just reading Anton du Beke's latest one now. For Christmas themed, I always try to re read A Christmas Carol in December and I love all the spooky Xmas ghost story collections. I bought the Grumpus for DS but I've lost it in the house somewhere...too well hidden!!

@openupmyeagereyes sorry for going back but meant and forgot to ask why passing DSs school bothers you? I don’t think I was on the thread when he was there.

I’ve got the short straw in that not only do I have to pass the place I have to go in and see the teachers and have to deal with ‘so how is DS?’ Questions and have to answer through a smile and gritted teeth (because of DD)!!!

interesred re Xmas reads x

carrie because there have been a few times that ds has cried about wanting to go back there. Seeing it daily makes it hard to forget.

Aww that's sad. I must admit part of the reason I hope DD can stay in her school is that she'd be devastated to leave and it would be really hard not to walk past it (but she does find a class of 30 hard). @carriebradshawwithlessshoes fortunately my DS is in year 6 so I wouldn't have that problem for long.

@Jules912 my DD is in year 6 too but it’s proving a looooong year. Also she is often inundated with questions from other kids about ‘where’s your brother gone? What’s wrong with him? Is he talking yet?’

I actually often feel worse for her than him.

How did parents manage to do Christmas shopping before online shopping?

I am one of 4 and I think my Mum did a lot of mail order. I will never be able to live up to my Mum's standards though. When I was 6 she made a dolls house for our Sindy dolls and wallpapered and carpeted it to match our home. She even filled the wardrobes with new outfits for them.including ones she had made herself. How did she do that?! She had 3 girls 6 and under and was pregnant. Even as a young child I appreciated that it was a huge act of love. I do pretty much everything online.

Feeling a bit low as after a week of feeling ill and disturbed nights with DD I ran out of patience with DS. I yelled at him for weeing and pooing himself again - it wasn't so much that but that he then sat on the sofa letting it all sink in and lied about it. I am so frustrated after trying to train him for 5.5 years, not making any improvements recently and continence service trying to discharge him despite being 9.5, not dry at night and having 4-5 daytime accidents a week.

We are getting ready to go to a Christmas fayre where my DN and his Dad are selling wooden items (not actually sure what). Still haven't put any decs up - I still haven't finished sufficient housework today to start on that. Is it bedtime yet?

dimples your mum sounds lovely, what great memories.

I hope you’ve all had a good day at the Christmas Fayre. Sorry about the difficult week, I hope things improve for you.

Thanks Open. My Mum is amazing and made my childhood Christmases really magical. Tough act to follow but she goes all out as a Granny too

Today has improved and I have got some decs up! As we waited outside the grotto my niece who is 10 and autistic loudly advised us not to go in as the Santa was wearing a mask and looked super creepy. As usual she was right - the oddest looking Santa I have ever seen but my 2 were not bothered.

at creepy Santa! Glad you got some decorations up. Ours are getting there. We bought our tree today so will get that up tomorrow which will be fun - though putting the lights on is always stressful with me and dh getting annoyed with each other. Going to try for better this year!

Creepy Santa! Dimples that made me laugh. My mum always went above and beyond at Christmas too. This will be my second Christmas without her which makes me sad.

Open we put out tree up today. I don't let dh anywhere near the lights! Now ds is asking if Santa is coming tomorrow. This will be standard until Christmas Day

I'm really looking forward to ds's school play next week.

liv I don’t think I could do it by myself otherwise I would. I will try not to be critical…

Sorry about your mum, it sucks.

Well I manage to pick a fight with myself getting the tree up and the lights on! So good luck Open

Liv it's so tough this time of year, missing loved ones.

I am hopelessly emotional and generally cry copiously in December. Today is the 8th anniversary of me being approved to adopt DS. We had a lovely time after DD went to bed singing and dancing to Frozen 2. I showed him my Facebook memories on my phone. One of my fave pics of myself is one of me arriving at a surprise celebration lunch organised by my colleagues. DS observed that that was when I was young- 8 years of parenthood have been wonderful but v ageing!

Oh dimples congratulations, such special memories [heart]

Aw @dimples76 your mum sounds like my granny. She did the same making the dolls house so beautiful, all these amazing wallpaper offcuts she had. Also I remember for my favourite doll she made her a mini wedding dress using fabric from her own! And one time I had to be King Herod (sp?!) in the nativity play (all girls school...) and was gutted not to be an angel or something and she made me the most luxurious outfit all this velvet and silk, made everything better! Miss her a ton.

Hope everyone had OK weekends. It was super super cold here. DD won't keep gloves on - have tried a few styles, but I guess she doesn't like her hands covered. Any tips on that? I really layer her up but when it's closer to zero degrees it's difficult to be outside for very long without gloves. I was thinking maybe I could get some thin and teeny tiny ones wiht fingers in (if they exist) that she might not notice as much. Like the inner layer ones you can get for adults to go under thick ones. She is keeping shoes on at least atm which is something !

First day at SEN school tomorrow (3 day weeks for Dec to build up). Feel a bit nervous about it. There was a super critical article about the (lack of ) autistic specific schooling in NL in the paper at the weekend, talking about how damaging the journalist found it for his son to be grouped with a range of other disabilities. I guess it depends a lot on the child and the school but I am worried about it all.

@livpotter sent too soon - thinking of you without your mum (and anyone else missing people in this season). It's such an emotional period x

@livpotter i remember you talking to us about your mum this time last year, it’s very difficult, I understand that. Look after yourself and of course all our DC’s Christmas chaos is in some ways a distraction.

Dimples! That’s so lovely! If it’s any consolation the person on my wedding pics could be a different person too, light years younger!! Looks like DH is marrying another woman! 🤣. Sometimes I think he wishes he had 🤣🤣.

@Ahna65 DS doesn’t keep gloves on either. NT or ND I find them incredibly faffy to get on small fingers, one finger in each hole and then keep the damn things on. So for the few weeks in the year that DS needs them I just pull down his sleeves and hope for the best! I understand your apprehension re DDs school but would say this. First, none of us knows when we move our children ND or NT to a new placement how it will go, we can only try. More important as others have said to me, was the previous placement working out? If not then it has to be a step forward. The Head as DSs school said to me no child will do their best in a placement where they are the ‘different’ one. Second, is there not a high ratio of ASD children there, have you asked? Because ASD presents in so many different ways (if you have seen one autistic child you have seen one autistic child and all that..) I’d have thought a very high percentage of Sen children have a diagnosis unless there is something distinctly different? I know at DS school from my observations the children all are very varied and just about every one different to DS from my cursory observations yet 80 pc have an ASD diagnosis apparently. Also, even if a child isn’t autistic there are a lot of overlapping things, sensory issues and so on and I would imagine the school are experienced in those issues unlike MS? That in itself has got to be good?

Hope everyone else is ok! Impressed at the mum/ granny stories. Mum was a good mum but like me didn’t know one end of a needle from the other. Some mums are just more ‘naturals’, I am definitely not! Sadly I’ve never mastered the French plait and my meals are more M and S than Mary Berry (long timers on here will remember my pancakes, the only picture I’ve ever posted… 🙄🙄). Livs roulade on the other hand….!. You can but try…..

Oh god, I forgot our lights hum when they’re on 😡

Post properly later.