Primary school auties: summer and beyond - thread 5

[openupmyeagereyes]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in Early Years and KS1. Most of us are parents of children in Reception or Year 1, but all welcome!

Here are the links to the previous threads:

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Light I’m glad dd did well with the online assessment. When do you hear?

We’ve actually got Amazon prime, Disney+ (got at start of lockdown) and Netflix!

Ds and I spent a few hours this afternoon putting up some of the Christmas decorations, we’ll get the tree at the weekend. We are very lucky that he loves it all rather than being anxious about the change, I’m very aware that that isn’t always the case.

I listened to a good podcast today on intermittent fasting/time restricted eating. Feel Better Live More #81. Fascinating and worth a listen for those also doing 16:8.

We have Netflix, Prime and Disney+ too! I probably need to cut back. DS and I watched both Christmas Chronicles films over the weekend on Netflix which was lovely. He coped well with our trip to the Christmas tree farm where we failed to buy a tree (they were too small). We have got a tree now.

Light that maths sounds intense. I don't think that DS would last more than 15 mins.

DS is screaming a lot at the moment. It sets DD off crying. Today it was because he wanted Alexa to play the 'Carolers' song' but it was playing the wrong song. He was shouting at me to get the right song on but I didn't know it either. It was a rather fraught hour. So glad that he is asleep now.

I'm leaving it a bit later to put decs up as DS does become quite excited but anxious about the change (and then again in Jan when we take them down). He thinks it's very weird, in his words, that he isn't going to school tomorrow as I've booked a covid test due to mild symptoms.
La totally trying to shaft us over EHCP, draft is do vague and not representative of his actual needs, and despite us having 15 days to respond the senco found out today that the LA are taking it to panel tomorrow...so the senco and I have been redrafting it over email!! Also sent the comments form by email to la as we have named a different school provision on it, I genuinely think the la are trying to pull a fast one over it all.
Someone get me a mince pie (although I can barely taste it...)

@dimples76 we have Amazon prime and Netflix,I love it all! All the cheese! Although not so much a fan of Blippi...I know what you mean about getting the wrong thing and it setting off DC. DS today, while I felt rubbish,kept shouting at me to put the magic arrows Ryan's world on...took me ages to work out what he meant!

That sounds outrageous LottieBalloo - how can they take it to panel before you have even had your chance to respond? Does sound dodgy.

We're lucky with DD that she is a long-attention span person. The problem with DD is generally getting her to change activities, not getting her to stick with them! So that's very useful for tests. I actually have no idea when we hear - but there is another school on my list that she doesn't even visit until mid January, so I don't think any of it is resolved very soon (I'm trying not to think about what happens if somewhere offers a place and sets a deadline but we still haven't heard from somewhere we like better.... I'm just going to have to rely on her current Head to sort us out if something like that happens).

DD is current chatting to herself in her sleep. I always used to do that. She is such a chip off the old block .

You lot are dangerous though, I'm going to end up with three subscriptions too (maybe at least just to get us through the Christmas holidays, given we can't go anywhere!)

I'm glad DS calmed down eventually dimples. I think often something like that is the straw that broke the camel's back if they've had a tough day.

DD always likes the decorations. With both of mine the problem is taking them down, not putting them up. I do it while they are at school and so far it's been OK (but usually we can do it on a Friday and then go and do something nice at the weekend as a distraction ... suspect that will be harder this year!)

That's what we're wondering too...

That's not legal Lottie. I'm sorry the LA are being rubbish.

Well done to you dd light. We have a similar problem with ds but only if he has chosen the activity. If it's something we want him to do there's not a chance!

Hope ds is more settled today dimples. Ds get's very loud when he's anxious. His new thing is to cry very loudly like a baby, it's very stressful!

We have all three channels as well! Although most of our time at the moment is watching people transforming transformer toys on you tube, ds's current obsession.

Ds was also v sad when the decorations came down last year. At least this year we can prepare him for it, it had never been an issue before.

Light I think the queen’s gambit is definitely worth one months subscription. It was fab . Jingle Jangle was good too, a bit different. Reminded me of Hamilton for some reason.

dimples hopefully less screaming from your ds today.

liv at Transformers videos, it could be worse. Ds’ tastes are rather niche to say the least!

lottie don’t let the LA get away with anything. Good luck.

danni hope all’s ok and that you haven’t pulled all your hair out with everything and ds at home most of the day.

We are speaking to the LA EP next week. She is going to do some covert observation via iPad then speak to ds (and later us). Will be interesting to see if he engages with her at all.

Hi! Hope everyone is ok.

We have Netflix, Disney, amazon prime, I’ve just paid for Spotify premium too but that’s for me, although I’ve got a 3 month free trial so not complaining, I don’t pay a payment until March, I’m doing a lot of ignoring ds at the minute with my AirPods in, so long as I can see him, its fine if I can’t hear him 😂

Ds still doing part time, he does 3 hours a day now and that’s what school want him to stay on until he leaves, arseholes! but unfortunately for them ds will be staying there until the end of year 2 so it seems, as there are no places in any of the special schools (other than the 2 independent ones we looked at that I wouldn’t send a dog too) i spoke to the last special school on my list yesterday and they were also full but she said consulting for places now at any special school they’ll all tell me they are full but if I consult for a September start he should get a place somewhere as they always make spaces available for a September but I need to consult for September now, it’s in year admissions which are difficult to get, she advised me to consult for a school I want (rather than just taking any) for September and keep him where he’s at for now, it’s what I was thinking anyway, I know he’s only part time but it’s better than him being out of school completely, so I’ve spent most of the day trying to phone our case worker (who genuinely takes the phone off the hook! It rings then the next time I ring it says you have dialled an incorrect number, this goes on all day - yet I’ve spoken to her on that very number twice so far so it’s deffo her number, It’s her direct line!) so I’ll have to stalk her again tomorrow as I want her to consult with the local special school (10 mins from my house) for September start and hope they come back within the 15 days and say yes!

Just means he will stay at this school he’s at for another 7 months on part time hours unless they permanently exclude him beforehand (which I’m reading is quite difficult for them to do if his behaviours are arising from his disability - which they are obviously, because he wouldn’t be behaving like it if it wasn’t for his autism) so they can try it if they want...

What’s another 7 months? Half that time is half terms anyway, then after summer holidays hopefully he’ll start at his new school.

Plus side, school have laid off me a bit now he’s only doing 3 hours a day, they aren’t badgering me every day or constantly phoning.

We haven’t had a parents evening though, no mention of it so don’t know if it’s the whole school or just ds, the other year 2’s have done their phonic screening test and ds didn’t even get entered and they didn’t even bother to tell me I heard some mums talking whilst I walked down the path.

Just for the sake of it I went on twinkl and got all the words for the screening and did a little go with ds and he did alright they just can’t be arsed to bother with him for anything.

Ds is looking forwards to Christmas, he asks me every day when is Santa coming from the North Pole? What are his elves called? What presents are they making? Etc etc etc.

He’s wrecked my tree 6 years in a row it ends up just branches 2 days after ive put it up but he’s completely left it alone this year, my dh bought ds a little £5 tree from b&q and ds decorated it and it’s in his bedroom and he’s left it alone he accidentally knocked it over playing and he put all the baubles back on himself bless him. He can be a good boy sometimes

Oh and ds current YouTube obsession is watching kittens meow. On repeat then he joins in with them and I go to bed hearing meows in my sleep.

Lottie, ds ehcp is the same, absolute load of shite.

He has full time 1-1 support - he always has had and yet not on one page does it mention it, it just says class teacher on the bit who it’s supposed to be delivered by (yet he’s banned from the classroom and barely makes contact with her) his targets are shit too, ‘ds will sit on the carpet at carpet time for 1 minute’ ‘ds will turn take in an activity with 1 other adult for 3 or more turns’ etc etc I know he’s behind but if that’s how low they set the bar he’s seven next month, not two!

I said at his last review his whole plan needs re writing from start to finish, and I did go through it and make her take bits out and add new bits in but not had it back yet as obvs it’s just been to panel for his special school so unsure when I’m going to get it back, but I’ll have to see what crap is in it this time.

I’m hoping when he goes to SS it will be a bit better as they do reviews all the time and know what targets to set, ds school are clueless with it all as I don’t think they do ehcp’ very often x

God I’m sorry, I’m trademark for doing this, I don’t post for a few days then bombard you with a hundred posts and my life story.

I forgot to mention, do you have the normal YouTube’s for your dc’s? We did before, I just downloaded it and he watched children’s video clips on it but the suggested videos at the side kept popping up and ds used to press them, usually just related to what ever he had been watching, but one day ds was on it and he was watching a ‘cartoon’ and I randomly heard the word bastard from the cartoon 😳😳 so just to let you know.

I deleted it after that and downloaded the children’s version, which is deffo just children’s appropriate videos, but he’s on these cat games at the minute, just off the App Store designed for kids to play and a chat room popped up the other day (ds hasn’t a clue what it is or what to do) and people where typing to each other and I could see, so I deleted that game aswell never know what weirdo is typing to the kids!

I don’t like all the pop up advert type things makes me paranoid to let him on the iPad. I keep going through his games checking they are appropriate and are what they say they are.

danni fingers crossed you can get a place in the school you want for September. I bet you can’t wait to see the back of the current school, the lack of inclusion is just shameful.

Ds refuses to use the kids YouTube, I really wish he would. We try to monitor fairly closely what he watches. He’s been watching videos from a particular channel which are mostly ok but there have been a couple with swearing in that we’ve had to delete. Ds parroted a phrase from one that included ‘fucking’ the other day. It’s the first time I’ve heard him swear, though one of the mums said last year that a boy in the class had taught them all the F word. Dh and I are ignoring it for now. I’m praying it doesn’t become a bigger issue.

Oh no open, that's one of my fears that ds will pick a swear word and echolalia it!

We don't let the kids have YouTube on iPads just on the TV where Dh or I can control it. I found when ds had it on the iPad he's go into these wormholes and completely zone into it. It was almost impossible to get the iPad away from him.

Danni if it's the right school it's definitely worth waiting a bit longer for the place. So frustrating for you!

DS called me 'a little shit' earlier - not sure where he picked that up from. We only have kids YouTube on the ipad but I'm not happy with how YouTube is set up on the TV. Today DS was watching a Minecraft video in Turkish (I think!).

Danni I hope that you get good news re school place soon. Lottie hope that you are able to resolve the EHCP problems.

For those of you whose child has an EHCP how much EP involvement had there been since the plan was first put in place? Our first plan was April 2018 and DS hasn't been seen by an EP since then.

I tend to put on the normal one too as I give it to DS in bed in the morning when he's wide awake and I'm trying to grab 10 minutes more snooze (pointless) or a shower. I do worry that they'll somehow put something inappropriate on when I'm in the shower, but I try to put on something longish that I know they like so they aren't tempted to change and so far it seems to work.

Danni that sounds like a good plan for trying to get a September placement. Another 7 months will not be fun, but better than ending up in the wrong school. It sounds like DS is learning, despite the school rather than because of it! The mini Christmas tree thing is very cute!

DD chatting to herself in her sleep again... rather nice really.

dimples ds hasn’t been seen since about then either. When we did the annual review in July I said I wanted an EP to assess him at the start of this school year as he’s changed so much since then. School agreed but I suspect they may have not pushed it if we hadn’t had issues at the beginning of term and gone onto the phased reintegration plan. I’m not sure how useful it will be as Covid means they won’t be able to assess in the same way but hopefully it will be better than nothing.

Liv my ds uses echolalia for ‘fucking’ he says it at school all the time, he deff does it for reaction, his 1-1 said to me one day he’s said the F word about 50 times today the senco put it in his ehcp review that he’s using a lot of bad language, but he’s not using it for that purpose, he likes the word, I don’t think he realises it’s bad as such.

I’m no saint, I do swear. But I’m not stupid enough to do it around ds or if I do it’s by accident, he copies everything he hears 🦜 me and dh spell words out if it’s not appropriate for ds to hear.

Dimples ds see an EP for 10 minutes in 2018 and he’s not yet seen another, she was due in twice this year (towards the special school desicion) but it’s been cancelled due to Covid so the panel had to make the decision without her, well she did input but not from any observations.

Light I did that before, gave ds my phone next to me whilst I snoozed about 5 in the morning, he must’ve been about 3, I heard him talking and vaguely remember someone talking back so sat up and it said ‘dad’ he’d been on the phone to my dad for about 10 minutes, I can’t snooze now as when he wakes up he goes straight downstairs and causes all sorts of trouble so the second I hear his stair gate swing open I have to sit bolt upright and go get him, he will sit on his iPad whilst I shower next door to his bedroom now though which is a bonus as he would never do that before but like you, I put something longer on so it keeps his attention, otherwise I have to get out with one shaved leg or one shaved armpit whilst I sort him out then don’t get chance to get back in x

Ds is quite an iPad addict now which has its pros and cons, it gives me chance to do something but then like someone else mentioned he’s in a zone, I can click my fingers in front of his eyes and he doesn’t blink!! So I save it for when I need him to be on it, it is educational though, he’s learnt loads from it x

Test was negative phew!

Phew Lottie, that’s a relief.

Yay! Is DS feeling better too?

Just wondering how @Mumofsend is? x

Pleased you don’t have corona Lottie, dh workplace has been rife recently x

@danni0509

Hiya,

For some reason I stopped getting notifications for this thread!

We are doing ok, she's stuck on an 11-3 timetable as she isn't really coping with the 11-3 part. Did get an email informing she had spent a good 45 minutes dancing around the school Christmas tree the other day

We are still planning on specialist but school and I are both focusing on getting our ducks in a row before tackling the LA who are adamant she can't possibly go to specialist and her school just has to deal with her.

My youngest is mid ehcp assessment, has his ed psych this week!