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Primary school auties: summer and beyond - thread 5

999 replies

openupmyeagereyes · 29/06/2020 11:18

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in Early Years and KS1. Most of us are parents of children in Reception or Year 1, but all welcome!

Here are the links to the previous threads:

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

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Thread gallery
5
danni0509 · 26/09/2020 12:33

Liv happy birthday to your dd & ds 🎉🎈🎁

livpotter · 26/09/2020 13:30

Thank you!

openupmyeagereyes · 26/09/2020 15:17

Many happy returns to your dc liv Cake

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danni0509 · 28/09/2020 07:22

I hope all our children have settled weeks in school 🥰

I’m at school this morning for that emergency meeting, the senco emailed me this weekend and just said not to worry about last week with ds and hopefully he will settle down.

He’s not in until 9.30 now, not sure how long they have that planned for but I’ll see today. He gets up so early so I feel like I have been awake with him about a week by the time he starts!

danni0509 · 28/09/2020 07:23

I’m at school tomorrow afternoon for a different meeting and again on Wednesday morning for something else.

May aswell just move in this week!

danni0509 · 28/09/2020 10:26

Pointless exercise that was.

Dropped ds off at 9.30 his 1-1 came out suited and booted in full ppe (she even had science goggles on under her visor) I was like why have you got all that on?

Apparently even if ds isn’t spitting they all have to wear it when working with him now 😡 I get when he’s spitting but not when he’s not! Talk about treating him like he’s got the plague.

So he goes in and I stood and waited but no one came out to me so I said to the office oh miss xxxx was coming out to see me so she rang down and the one I was seeing was busy and the other one who could of came instead said to the office staff oh we don’t have much to tell her, tell her we’ll be in touch.

So came home having spoke to no one when the plan was to come out and speak to me when I dropped ds off!

So they think they are just leaving ds starting 45 mins late and being collected 30 minutes early every day again, back down to 4hr 45m a day at school. Bullshit.

Sooner he leaves the better! getting more annoyed by the minute.

It’s not about having more time on my hands it’s really not, it’s the principle.

danni0509 · 28/09/2020 10:29

I don’t actually see their reasoning why he has to start 45m late and be collected 30m early other than to have him less time!

That seems to be there best solution every time, oh we will have him less hours.

Well I’m not having it.

Custardslice3 · 28/09/2020 11:20

Hi danni, sorry to butt in on your thread but couldn't read and not comment as I'm so enraged on your behalf!

DS's old school (he's currently not in school) made similar comments re wearing PPE around him but as far as I understand it's not what the guidance recommends, and could be considered disability discrimination as what they are basically doing is treating him as Covid positive all the time. Any other student is treated as -ve until they display symptoms, at which point PPE is worn and the child is isolated then sent home. Your son should be treated the same, i.e. no PPE unless he is showing symptoms. It's irrelevant that he is spitting.

Hope you manage to sort out the part time thing with them.

danni0509 · 28/09/2020 11:44

Thank you custardslice x

dimples76 · 28/09/2020 20:50

Oh Danni it doesn't seem like any of these plans are about what your DS needs. Hope that your meetings help progress the move to the new school.

dimples76 · 28/09/2020 20:55

Oh Danni it doesn't seem like any of these plans are about what your DS needs. Hope that your meetings help progress the move to the new school.

danni0509 · 29/09/2020 08:11

I’ve just done a bit of research and got this from the government website so I’m going to show this to school this afternoon.

I struggled to hear the staff yesterday with all that on (mask visor and goggles) so ds with speech & language difficulties who doesn’t listen in the first place is definitely going to struggle.

I do understand why they want to wear it, but it’s not in the guidance, plus they are saying they have to wear it even if ds isn’t spitting when that guidance basically says they don’t need to wear it even if they are spitting.

Primary school auties: summer and beyond - thread 5
danni0509 · 29/09/2020 08:14

Happy for them to suit up if he’s spitting if they want too.

But I’m not happy them wearing it just for the sake of it like they saying they are.

Plus the sending him home when spitting... I don’t see how that can be right when the guidance is specifically mentioning spitting / biting and it’s saying no additional ppe required, but ds school go one further and send him home 😤

danni0509 · 29/09/2020 08:16

Plus, ds wasn’t spitting at anyone he was spitting on the floor not that that’s ok. But it wasn’t directly on anybody.

livpotter · 29/09/2020 13:04

What a nightmare danni! I hope that the LA pull their finger out and get him moved to a more supportive school soon!

openupmyeagereyes · 29/09/2020 13:06

danni I’m sorry this is going on and on for you. How was today’s meeting? Was this one with sendiass?

Things are ticking along here. Ds has been fine going for two hours, hopefully we can extend it this week.

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danni0509 · 29/09/2020 16:55

Today’s meeting was about his adhd referral, I had to help the senco with some paperwork they had sent her as it was early years stuff she didn’t know about him, like milestones etc.

The senco is nice to be fair she’s really on the ball with stuff with ds (she’s a part time teacher aswell & worked in the opposite class last year but they all join together several times a week so she has experience working with him so knows what he’s like) she has to go to the adhd panel meeting when they give her the date (the parent doesn’t get invited to this! how bizarre!) but she said today don’t worry I’ll make sure his needs are represented and they know everything they need to know.

Sendiass phoned school this morning and said they acted illegally on Friday and it’s not to happen again. It was actually the senco she spoke too. So the senco said did you tell her? So I just had to say yes because they asked how it was going with ds and school sooo.

I understand sendiass are working in ds best interest etc but she didn’t actually tell me she was going to do this, she never mentioned she was phoning school or anything.

Quite awkward actually today, and to top it off I have a meeting with the senco and sendiass tomorrow afternoon in the same room 😂

The educational phycologist is going to school next Wednesday to see ds and she’s also writing a report but the senco actually met with the educational phycologist this morning and she is aware of ds anyway so that should all be ok.

LightTripper · 30/09/2020 18:04

What a stress @danni0509, and so sorry about your nan. The sooner DS is out of there the better (which I know is annoying, as it means they have basically succeeded by not meeting his needs, but there doesn't seem to be any option does there?)

I hope the meeting tomorrow is useful. Please don't feel awkward about it. If they don't want to be called out by Sendiass they shouldn't do illegal stuff. It's not up to you to keep it secret!

And glad your littles had a lovely weekend @livpotter!

All still well here. DD went to her ballet lesson by herself today (didn't do any ballet, but last week she was saying she didn't want to go in without me at all, so it was a brave step and she did really well to go). Now just have to see if she might actually want to join in a bit next week. She does actually really like ballet, but her old class was not doable any more because Covid (plus she was getting stressed out by the teacher shouting - this new teacher is very non-shouty): this one is much closer so if we can get her comfortable with the newness of it that would be a real win.

openupmyeagereyes · 30/09/2020 20:45

Light so glad dd is enjoying ballet again. Baby steps.

danni I hope meeting was ok 🤞

Ds had a difficult day today again so 2 hours still for now. We talk to the specialist teacher on Tuesday morning.

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danni0509 · 30/09/2020 21:45

Today sendiass cancelled the meeting, she phoned the senco this morning and apparently said she only wanted an appointment to talk about the illegal exclusion which she feels is resolved now as she warned them about it yesterday. Sendiass didn’t phone me though, the senco emailed me an hour before the appointment to let me know it was cancelled. She said if I don’t reply to the email by 1pm she would phone me to make sure I deffo know it’s cancelled but I get notifications so read it as soon as she let me know.

What evs!

Ds still going in at 9.30am but I can live with that, I’m more annoyed at the principle of it all but I’ll just accept it for ds, that’s still an illegal exclusion 🤔 him losing 45 minutes a day I read the ipsea website on it so I know it’s deffo classed as illegal exclusion, but I’m not too fussed and won’t be persuing anything.

I’ll just keep him doing 9.30 and picking him up at 2.30 so he’s still doing 5 hours a day.

She did say to me if I want him to go in at 8.45 then she would have to speak to & ok it with the class teacher first. Would that be the class teacher ds doesn’t really spend any time with because he’s hardly in the classroom? Why would she need to ok it! The class do their phonics lesson 9-9.30 so it keeps him out the way.

There’s no wonder he’s been stuck on the same reading level for 2 years. His teacher put some books on the online reading scheme for him last week, exact books he had in reception 🤔 which he can read just fine He was on pink band in reception, moved up to red band in yr1 and now he’s been put back down to pink band & sound books, like basic alpha block books. C U P one page CUP next page kind of thing.

I’m not sure if they are even aware what he can read because they don’t read with him or what? I say do you read books at school with your adult ds (he calls his 1-1 his adult, bless him) and he says no.

Light I’m pleased ds is liking ballet with the non shouty teacher. (Always makes me 😯 at others shouting at your kids when they make a song and dance if you shout at your own!) I hope she joins in next week but even if she doesn’t she might eventually, good that it’s closer to you aswell x

Open sorry ds is still struggling, I’m not surprised, must be so hard for them all, out of school 6 months then straight back in with new people. Hopefully he will settle, he’s not alone, ds is unsettled but even parents I’m talking to with non autistic children are saying they aren’t coping great. Hope the specialist teacher appointment goes ok next week x

danni0509 · 30/09/2020 21:49

Funny because at that special needs school the autism teacher said to ds what is your teacher called at xxxxxxxx (his school) and he said I don’t know. She looked at me and said, I know why he doesn’t know. I said so do I.

She wasn’t daft, she said she’s sees it more often than she would like, children spending the school day out of the classroom with someone supervising them rather than being taught by an actual teacher.

danni0509 · 02/10/2020 10:09

Currently got ds off school.

A child in a different class of yr2 has tested positive.

The staff phoned me at ten past 9 just as I’d got ds coat on, don’t bring ds we need to speak to public health England. So I’m thinking ok must he his bubble then.

No one phoned me so I phoned back just before ten to find out what’s going on.

It’s a different class but they are having a bit of a crisis at school and a load of staff are being sent home and they haven’t got anyone for ds! They tried to blame it on his routine and said he might not cope having to have different staff etc so I said he doesn’t care and I want him in school. Why would he need different staff? He doesn’t work with the other bubbles staff.

Somebody is phoning me by half ten.

So another illegal exclusion then 😡

I would be a bit more flexible and understanding if they didn’t do this shit all the time.

Honestly could cry how angry they are making me.

Somebody’s aunties uncles dogs goldfish could test positive 3 cities away and they’d tell me to isolate him for 14 days to avoid having him in.

danni0509 · 02/10/2020 10:10

They are in class bubbles not whole year bubbles btw.

openupmyeagereyes · 02/10/2020 11:33

I don’t see how this affects him if his class, teacher and TA’s are not being sent home?

Ds refused to go in today, after 25 minutes of messing around outside school I took him home.

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danni0509 · 02/10/2020 12:24

Ds went in at 10.45am they phoned me back & said to send to him. They have sent home the other bubble to isolate for 14 days.

Sorry ds wouldn’t go in open did he say why he didn’t want to go in?