Auties transition to Year 1 - thread 3

[LightTripper]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in reception year at school, going into Year 1 in the autumn. All welcome (also parents with older or younger children who want to ask questions or share their wisdom!)

Welcome!

Light have a fantastic holiday!

Open the crelling harness is fine, we use the Houdini clip with it (comes free with it) as he was still getting his arms out. We use a belt lock too for the main seatbelt and he's all secured in now, we have been using it about 5 weeks or so.

So far (hoping it doesn't change) i would definitely recommend.

Ds is the same, massive kick offs all the time because he's spoilt and can't get what he wants, drives me mad and it's very irritating. His tantrums are explosive, he always makes himself sick screaming and has purple dots around his eyes and face (petechia how ever it's spelt - basically burst blood vessels) it's really embarrassing when he does it in public (which he does - often!) because it's not the behaviour you expect to see from a nearly 6 year old, so draws in lots of attention, he's so loud! and I don't handle him very well because he goes wild and is difficult to manage.

I swear autism is the reason I have anxiety.

Yesterday was a particularly bad day for us, he spent most of the day kicking off.

Ds had to go back to gp unit last night as his leg is much worse, it's spread all over and his full leg is covered in oozing blisters, he's now on 2 different antibiotics and been instructed to go to a&e if it gets any worse.

We didn't get home until 10.30pm, ds didn't go to sleep until midnight but still woke at 5.30am, so he's in a foul mood today and to top it off won't take his antibiotic which is all I need so I expect to have to go to a&e at some point

Light have a lovely time. X

danni thanks for the Crelling update. Since we’re driving on holiday Saturday I think we need to get one. Hopefully their shipping is fast! Which buckle covers do you have? Are they from Amazon?

Your ds must be in a lot of discomfort with his leg, possibly why he had so many tantrums yesterday? I feel for you anyway.

Ds’ tantrum yesterday was about not wanting to leave somewhere that we took him even though they were packing up and closing shortly. We ended up having to carry him out and it still took him ages to calm down and for us to get him in the car. I’m not sure what was going on this morning. When we got him back home after he got out of his car seat he had a tantrum because he didn’t want to be at home. After he calmed down he’s been fine the rest of the day thankfully.

He’s definitely missing school now the first few weeks of the holiday are over. Even though he has been out somewhere almost every day it’s the most he’s been at home since he started school. If only he realised that he would be able to go out more and for longer if only his behaviour was better. He’s not always like this but when he is it just makes you so wary because his tantrums can be epic and the bigger he gets the harder it is to physically restrain him and keep him safe.

Anyway, what we have learnt is that for the moment we must only take him out in the mornings so he has plenty of time somewhere before we leave.

The crelling harness is steel buckle model 28. (SB28) It's dpd delivery & thats £8.95 but it arrived in 2 days of ordering. You get 14 day money back if it's not suitable.

He's not even fussed by his leg at all, he has this weird pain barrier so it just doesn't register, his tantrums yesterday where just standard what we usually have unfortunately. ()

Enjoy your holiday. Are you going anywhere nice?

Sorry. The belt lock was from amazon.

Ours is a red one.

danni we’re off to the Kent coast for a week. We stayed at the same house 3 years ago. Hopefully the change of scene will do him good.

Free book to download on Amazon today - Why Does Daddy Always Look So Sad?

“This book is a view of life and love through the eyes of an Autistic Adult, from being non-verbal and aggressive to acceptance and letting go. This is the remarkable true story of Jude's journey from being a vulnerable Autistic child to being a Dad to a non-Autistic son.”

Thanks open.

How’s everyone doing?

We had another horrible car journey this week. Of course I hadn’t ordered the Crelling harness. I called them yesterday to double check the model and they’d sold their last one in stock that morning. That means we won’t have one for the start of our holiday but I’m hoping one can be delivered while we are there. I’m feeling an absolute fool for not sorting it out sooner but nothing I can do now.

Ds is going to hate it. He doesn’t like the seatbelt buckle covers because he knows they’re so he can’t open the belts. Sadly they don’t stop him getting out of the belt of course.

Otherwise we’ve had a pretty good week. We had a successful trip to buy new school shoes. Played mini golf at the seaside for the first time and enjoyed the aquarium. Yesterday one of ds’s school friends and her sister came to play. He didn’t behave brilliantly but luckily his friend and her dm were unfazed. It helps so much when people are understanding.

Hope DS's leg is on the mend Danni. Hope that you have a good hols Open and that everyone else is well.

This Summer has felt like an endurance test with my bad ankle. I am out of the cast now and re-learning how to walk. DS has been v cute about this - he gave me a round of applause when I made it to the top of the stairs on my crutches yesterday. Thanks to my Mum we have had a few nice days out recently. Still v. disappointed about having to cancel our hols but overall I am impressed with how DS has managed. I feel returning to school is going to be v challenging - especially for me! I'm really hoping that I can walk him to school on the first day but I can't manage the walk yet.

We haven't managed any of my goals for the hols, e.g. daily reading and writing practice, developing friendships etc but we are surviving and having some fun along the way so I'm trying to be grateful for that.

Crelling harness was shipped yesterday and being delivered to us on holiday on Tuesday. Hopefully the drive there will be without incident as it will be around 2.5 hrs and involve M25.

I’m not sure where they found one from given they told me they had no stock.

Open could dh sit in the back with ds if you are driving? That's what we did until ours came just for that security knowing dh can grab him.

Talking of cars, mines just cost £600 to repair today, somehow have to pluck that amount from thin air by next Saturday and dh failed his driving test yesterday. 3 months ago my car cost £300 to mend something, and mot is due next month and I'm sure that will likely cost me something utterly ridiculous.

There is always something with it. Money drain or what! but I'm reliant on it so have to suck it up and get on with it.

Enjoy your holiday open.

Dimples haha I did laugh at your surviving comment. We haven't done any homework really. This 6 weeks has been hard work, I'm thoroughly exhausted. As long as he's fed and safe I've thought fuck anything else.

He hasn't done a reading book for about a fortnight I can't bare another tantrum getting him to do it so just haven't bothered. I think to be honest, learning him to read is very low priority for us right now. Might be priority for an NT child but for ds its not that important to us with everything else that needs tackling.

His sleep has gone to absolute shit again even on his melatonin & I'm only just about keeping my head above water with him this 6 weeks holidays.

It's been v tough and as awful as it may sound I'm so looking forwards for not next week but the week after, I'm desperate for a few hours off the constant care he needs.

My first plan is drive to McDonalds get a hot chocolate and sit in silence in my car and saviour every last sip, sounds heavenly. Small things hey!

Hope your back to 100% health v soon. X

danni we are driving to the holiday house and I’m in the back with ds. He’s asleep thankfully and excited about going so we should be fine today.

The other day we were driving back from a day at the coast and I was sat in the back holding his seatbelts together (we have a ‘belt upp’ too) under his neck trying to stop him getting out for maybe half an hour. It was hellish!

I’ve forgotten to pack his melatonin. I can’t believe it! 🤦‍♀️

I hope you can get your car sorted out. They can drain cash at times. I don’t blame you for wanting some downtime soon. Your ds is full on.

dimples I’m sorry this summer wasn’t what you’d planned or hoped for. I hope the remainder goes smoothly.

Oh God, he’s just woken up... 🙏

Hope that the rest of your car journey went smoothly Open. Danni that hot chocolate moment is getting so close! V much survival mode here - DS came so close to falling out of a window the other day

Oh no dimples, how frightening.

We made it to the holiday house without issue thankfully. He is so happy to be here, it’s a joy to see.

Rubbish bedtime here. I am kicking myself for forgetting the melatonin. Half an hour of general messing about followed by an hour and a half of him whinging that he wants to go home. We had the same a couple of years ago, a big tantrum about going home a few days after we got there, after that he was fine.

I’ve no idea how this one will pan out, he has been complaining for weeks that he doesn’t like our house and he wants to go on holiday . I’m so bloody tempted to just pack up and take him home.

Hello all! Hope the holiday is going OK open and DS is starting to settle.

Holiday here was good. DD actually played well with the other kids and generally did well. She managed a pony ride (and even went again) despite being very anxious and wanting to get off when she first started.

The only downside was total meltdown going through the security gate in both directions. Both ways the staff were pretty helpful, but even with the special wristband it gets to the point where she is in bits on the floor before they tell us to go and carry her through. I find it a bit annoying TBH because if I can carry her through without setting off the alarms why am I not allowed to go through with her holding hands (which I think she would be fine with)? Maybe I should e-mail the airport and find out whether that would in principle be OK, as she is going to be getting big to carry soon. Having said that, we don't have any overseas holidays booked and may stay more in the UK next year, and maybe she'll get less anxious about it (though it's funny, all the other things she used to worry about with flights like take off and landing, turbulence on the plane, putting her bag through x-ray, she now seems totally fine with, but the security gate is getting worse if anything so not sure we can assume it will just resolve itself).

Anyway, no long term harm done I don't think. Also used that and some toilet issues on holiday to properly tell DD she is autistic and this is why she finds some things hard/stressful. She hasn't really asked any more about it, so not sure how much it means to her yet, but at least she knows the word now and knows it applies to her, and I showed her our NAS magazine when we got home and some of the people in it who had done cool things, so hopefully we can just continue to have little chats about it over time and just make it "part of the furniture".

Feels a relief really, as her reading is coming on and I have autism books/magazines lying around, so she was going to ask about it at some point.

Hope everyone is doing OK. When are all the kids back to school? DD is back a week on Thursday I think ... she seems to be looking forward to it so I'm hoping drop-off will be OK (also given she's keeping her teacher from last term) but we'll see!

Light glad your holiday was successful, did you go away with friends? The meltdown at security sounds stressful, your poor dd. It seems bonkers not to be able to walk through holding hands doesn’t it.

Well done for raising your dd’s autism with her. I’m wondering how we broach that one here, I think we may need to do so in the coming year though he’s not yet questioning his differences. I need to re-read Chris Bonello’s article on it.

Did you join the Nurturing Neurodiversity FB group? I’m not on FB but tempted back on for this and some other ASD related things, it seems useful for support and finding local activities.

We are still on holiday, going home in the morning. Thankfully ds settled after his ranting about going home. He’s mentioned it a few times since but he’s fine and enjoying being here. I’m looking forward to getting back now though, if it weren’t for traffic on the M25 I’d leave this evening rather than in the morning. Overall the holiday has been good but with some tricky moments. Ds has sort of made friends with the boy staying next door though they only talk over the fence.

Ds is back to school on Wednesday. Last night he was talking again about going back into his old class and that he would do all his jobs (what they call his work activities) every day. I will need to email the teacher to warn him though I’m sure they are expecting it. Before we left home we received a draft EHCP. We meant to bring it with us to review but forgot so will need to do that when we get back.

I hope everyone is coping with the last week of the holidays

Hi everyone, Hope you've all had a good summer holiday. We're back now and just waiting for the kids to start school again. Dd is back to nursery you on Wednesday and I still don't know when ds starts back because of going back to reception and the staggered start.

Really looking forward to having some time back to myself again!

I’m looking forward to some time to myself too liv though I will miss ds.

We go back home tomorrow. So far ds is keen so hopefully we’ll be able to leave the house and get him in the car! He’s enjoyed the holiday but missing home, his stuff and WiFi as am I.

We’ve done fairly well getting him to do phonics, writing and cutting on a regular basis. His blending has really come on but I’ve been concentrating on phase 2 so he hasn’t learnt any new phonemes. Honestly I’m not sure if I should be waiting until he’s actually reading phase 2 words before moving onto phase 3. Any ideas?

His writing has not visibly improved. He tends to rush it and not take much care. At least he’s been doing it though. He’s also watched a lot of numberblocks again and a bit of alphablocks which has hopefully helped him too.

I would just do phase 2 for now open and when he's consistently reading those, then move on, you might confuse him otherwise. Ds can read a bit now but ch sh th .. words he doesn't have a clue and cannot read those type of words.

Ds is back Wednesday but has come out yesterday in what im pretty sure is hand foot and mouth. He has had this twice previously so I'm pretty sure that's what he has. Same places, same sort of rash / blisters as the other times. No point taking him up to gp unit over the weekend since he's not actually ill and they can't do anything anyway other than confirm, so I'll just dose him up on piriton and hope they go soon.

Dh just said, typical he's had 6 weeks off, now he'll need more time off he bloody well won't! He could have a limb hanging on by a thread and he would he going into school next week 😆

Last time he had hfm was about 2yr ago when he was at nursery and the majority of the class had it and the manager said he could still go in.

I've checked nhs website today and it says they may attend school / nursery unless they have a fever etc which he doesn't have, he's his usual naughty self.

I paid my car repairs this morning and would you believe something else is up now!!! to the tune of £340. Grrrr

I'm honestly thinking of getting a skateboard

Oh danni, how typical 🤦‍♀️

I hope his leg is better?

Ds is asleep. Earliest for a week. So glad to be back with the melatonin!

Sorry about your car Danni that is poor luck. Mine’s just been written off after getting its cat convertor stolen. Grrr!

Summer hols are nearly finished here too...back on Thursday just for a morning session. We were away in Portugal for nearly three weeks, looking after my mum, and ooof DD was ferocious some days! So shouty and quick to tears. I kept reminding myself that this is totally different to anything, environment, toys, familiar things...but it is sooo nice to be back home! Don’t think my mum was overly impressed with the behaviour as I guess it can come across as brattish but I did explain, in simple terms, what we’re going through.

One thing mum said which really hit a note with me was “she’s not very curious about anyone, is she”. It’s something that I am vaguely aware of, she can be dismissive, reclusive and blanks people regularly but is this not just a 4 year old shyness thing? What are others experiences ? Just curious, myself, really...!