Auties transition to Year 1 - thread 3

[LightTripper]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in reception year at school, going into Year 1 in the autumn. All welcome (also parents with older or younger children who want to ask questions or share their wisdom!)

Welcome!

We haven’t had his report yet. I think it would have been useful to have seen it before the review.

Open I get frustrated by not seeing reports/plans before the meetings. My sister had a SEN review today for her eldest and I was criticising some of the outcomes (they were the opposite of SMART). She was frustrated that she did not raise that at the meeting - but I think it's impossible when you're in a state of high anxiety and trying to process lots of information.

Two days until the end of term here and non uniform day tomorrow. The therapeutic social worker who has been working with DS and me went into school yesterday to do some training. She sent a very positive report back about some of the strategies they are using and their receptiveness to her other ideas.

I guess with the laughing thing I need to work on my own response and then maybe do some social stories. I have laughed when someone was v angry with me once (how to make a bad situation worse!)

Open Legally the school/LA have to provide all reports for the EHCP review meeting no less than 2 weeks before the meeting so that you can prepare for it. Having said that I had to badger my school into providing them.

What I hadn't realised before I did the course on it is that the annual review is not just the meeting. It is the whole process from being informed of the meeting, gathering information, the meeting, then the LA's response and is only finished once the LA have made the decision whether to change, keep or stop the plan.** There is a strict timeline that each part has to adhere to:
www.ipsea.org.uk/the-annual-review-process

I'm glad your ds had a good day in the other classroom. Sorry about his TA, hopefully you'll have some time over the summer to prepare him for it.

Dimples I think most of these SEN meetings completely throw you off guard. It's so hard to keep your feeling in check when they are talking about your child.
Great that the therapeutic social workers report was good.

Light yes I forgot about the monkey/aggression thing.

Dh took ds on his last school trip of the year yesterday and they had a really good time phew! Ds was pretty disregulated when he got home and there was a fair bit of hitting, kicking and headbanging but thankfully bedtime went ok.

Sorry bold fail!

liv great that ds enjoyed the trip. Hopefully in time you’ll be able to work out a good transition plan to avoid the disregulated behaviour afterwards. Trip to the park, ipad time or something. Of course nothing may work and it might be something he just needs to play out to get himself back on track.

dimples great that the sw’s report was so positive, a nice way to end the year!

I picked up ds’ report this morning. They were actually ready to collect Friday but it seems our email had accidentally been sent to the parent of another child with the same forename. In any event, having read it, I don’t think it would have changed anything at the meeting which is good given what happened.

The report is lovely, all positive and talking about the progress he’s made and his strengths. He’s actually been marked as expected in 3 areas, technology and the expressive arts and design categories.

I’m going to email the SENCO today as a follow up to the meeting, reminding her that the targets need to be measurable and that next year we need a clearer indication as to what extent they’ve been met. I feel the teacher skirted around some of them. I also think we need a meeting to review progress and identify what areas need more focus each term, before the half term holiday.

At the meeting we also clarified what the teacher meant by the level of disruption on the risk assessment. Basically he can at times be quite disruptive but at a very low level, so calling out, trying to reach objects, whatever. But when you put it into context she said that about a third of the class are almost at the same level as they are so young still and I think that’s the part that would have been helpful to know - it’s not like the whole class are perfectly behaved and he’s not. That’s what had me worried.

The specialist teacher also pointed out several times that other children in the class will exhibit behaviour that we discuss in ds’ ehcp but that they are not watched as closely or having their behaviour scrutinised in the same way that ds is.

Apologies for any typos, I can’t seem to preview posts at the moment.

The other thing I meant to say is that I’m coming to realise that trying to prepare ds in advance for things school related just seems to make him more anxious. The anticipation is worse than the actual thing itself.

I spoke to a couple of parents about it separately and they said the same thing about their NT child. One said she doesn’t tell her daughter anything any more because she just worries about it.

So I’m not going to speak to ds about the TA’s. I think we will just deal with it when it comes - I don’t want to spoil his summer. Especially if the current TA is going to help collect him, at least initially. It’s a big change anyway, new classroom, new teacher so maybe he will accept it as being part of that.

Same with ds open. I give him minimal warning about things as it just increases his anxiety to know beforehand. I think here it's because ds's has a different perception of time to me ie. if I tell him something is going to happen he thinks it's going to happen immediately. He then either get upsets because it's not happening right now or because he doesn't want to do it at all.

Ds had the SEN buggy, all his favourite food, a social story, his IPad and all his visuals and it was still a bit overwhelming for him. To be fair he wasn't diregualted for that long, probably about an hour or so when he got back. It always feels eternal though doesn't it?!

Yes liv that’s definitely part of it. The reality is, too, that there are lots of things that happen at school that are not part of the normal routine - visitors to class, music groups in assembly, watching KS2 performance etc. That we don’t prepare him for because we don’t know about them in advance. Mostly he copes with these things very well or really enjoys them and yet if we’d talked about them in advance it may have put him off.

I do pretty much the same with ds.

Warn him in advance of what I really need to (like going on holiday, I was telling him about that for months, he's been a few times but he was getting stressed about the pilot talking via the tannoy on the plane this time so had to talk to him for ages about it) but I tell him other things (well as much as I think I can get away with) last minute or it can make our life hard.

Plus the way I look at it is, he needs to learn how to be flexible, because not everything always stays the same.

Open I'm pleased to hear ds got some expected, I imagine your hard work see that happen too.

I'm pretty annoyed ds got all emerging to be honest, when I think about the 5 months he only did 2 hours a day at school, then the last 5 months of 4 hours a day, that is a lot of hours learning missed!

He's only a couple of statements away from the ELG on maths & reading & moving and handling (by my own judgements) so he would of got expected with those had he had that extra crucial input.

Never mind. Not much I can do about it now.

I've got all the eyfs assessment sheets i printed in folders which I go through weekly regularly so I'll keep working through and highlighting it off at home. School continue the eyfs in yr 1 which I read that before actually.

Apparently if they are working below the NC they continue eyfs in yr 1 until they have completed it all.

Liv was it you who had the Crelling Harness? I couldn't quite remember if it was you or dimples.

Mine has been delivered. I got the steel buckle one with the Houdini chest clip. It was £130 with p&p.

I've not been able to drive my car at all with ds, so just need to get it fitted tomorrow morning when my friend can come to help me, then I can get him back in it and get driving again as im having a nervous break down walking him!

I'd not ordered the harness when I had issues with him climbing out last month as we were going on holiday and I wasn't using the car, and any trip I did make I made sure dh or my mum was in the back with him to keep him in his seat, I wanted to get ds' dla then pay for it out of that, so planned to order it this week. I'd actually said to dh at the weekend I'll phone crelling this week to clarify which model I needed.

So anyway I'd picked ds up from school Monday lunch (5 minute drive home) he got out of his seat so I stopped put him back in, gave him a chewing gum to keep him sat for the last 2 minute drive. Id not even got 50 metres and he'd got out again and what he did was so shocking.

He dived into the front between the two front seats and lunged and grabbed my steering wheel like a lunatic ragging it and sent us up onto the path and I had to emergency stop then I couldn't get him out the front of my car and couldn't get him home.

Thank god no one was around and we were on a quiet road! And no accident happened!

So he's been completely banned out of my car and I'm walking him back and forth to school until this harness is fitted.

I just hope to god this keeps him bolted in. What a stress!

Oh my god danni that is terrifying! I'm really glad no one was hurt.

Yes it was me with the crelling. It's brilliant and ds is much more relaxed in the car now.

danni how scary for you. I hope that the Crelling harness keeps him in place, little monkey.

I can understand your frustration at your ds’ grades, especially with all the learning that he missed but you know what he knows and hopefully the qualitative part of his report reflects that. The teacher was clear with us that it’s not just about whether he knows it, it’s about whether he can consistently demonstrate that he knows it. Some days he will answer questions about sums and other days he will just ignore the question.

I don’t think I can take any credit for his technology expected, I think that’s just down to his extensive iPad usage . We can definitely take part of the credit for all the reading we do with him but the rest is entirely down to him.

Glad the end of term meetings seem to be going well. DD already finished and it's a relief really. She was knackered! We found some caterpillars in the garden at the weekend which she was very keen to keep, so that's been taking a lot of attention (even found her asleep wrapped round the jar the other night!). We've actually been out to buy radishes for them as they'd shredded all the ones we were growing (where we found them) - most pampered caterpillars ever! I think activities like that are really calming and a good way to unwind after a busy term. DS also loves holding them so it's a win win.

Hope the harness does the trick Danni.

I've been taking my iron and feeling a bit better already I think, so combined with the end of term and work being a bit less busy that's made everything seem a bit better.

Good to read positive news re reports and trips.

Danni that sounds like a horrific ordeal - hope that the harness is fitted soon.

Light I'm rather jealous of your calm fun.

I said to DS this morning you only have two days left in red class and he cried. I was kind of glad in a way (however, we both really like his Reception teacher so this is going to be a wrench). We had a lovely cuddle and looked at the book school have made for him about year one.

My sister just messaged to say that our appeal for her eldest (who has a rare genetic condition and is working 2-3 years behind his peers) has also been successful. So between 3 of our children we have had 4 refusals to assess but ultimately all 3 have been/will be assessed. Now for the next round!

Due to my injury I am dreading the holidays but DS is more than ready for them

Dimples great news on your nephew.
You seem close to your sister which is nice. Hope the holidays go well for you & it's not much longer with you out of action.

I'm reading a book at the moment called A Real Boy by Christopher Stevens. I'm only on page 66 but what I've read so far, he's so similar to ds when ds was small.

I'm too early on in the book to know the ins and outs but his ds is severely autistic and will he interesting to read on. Although I'm a little nervous to read what he was like growing up.

I'm still at the bit were he is toddler age for now but I intend to get ds to sleep and plough through it a bit more.

I'm going to be a total geek later when ds is in bed and work out how many hours education ds has missed this year compared to his peers, I'll report back!

dimples that’s brilliant news about your nephews appeal. Well done you!

Light you’re lucky to already be on holiday. Glad that dd has started to relax and that the caterpillars are helping.

Has anyone discussed homework with the school? In our school year 1 seem to get spellings, maths and a writing exercise each week. I think we need to ask for differentiated homework for ds. This year we’ve done those that basically have not required us to do the entire thing and ignored the rest. I think that approach will be more problematic next year.

That's so lovely about the caterpillars light. Glad you're feeling a bit better.

Well done on the appeals dimples! Pretty criminal that all the kids were turned down in the first place. Hope the assessments go smoothly.

How did the calculation go danni?

We've really struggled with homework this year open. Ds really doesn't get having to do things from school at home. I'm sure there will be reasonable adjustments in year 1.

We had a pretty bad day here yesterday. I think ds was still unwinding from the school trip. But in the evening he discovered 'photo booth' on the iPad and took some amazing photos. He wanted me and dd involved too, which was lovely.
He then started building his favourite bits of Lego counting and naming all the shapes of the pieces before he built them! Such swings and roundabouts!
Last day here today. I'm glad he's going to get a break but I'm slightly dreading having to find enough but not too many activities to keep him calm over the break.

Well DD has been off for a week and already said "A day is so long Mummy, I want to go back to school." You can't win. Whether she knows it or not she does need the break though. We've had quite a lot of rigid behaviour this week (not going to the loo until it's too late, refusing to go in the bath, etc. etc.) I think she's just unwinding and processing everything from this year, and probably missing the structure of the school day a bit.

Caterpillars are now all in chrysalis form, so no more caterpillar poo cleaning out or soggy radish leaf extraction - yay!

She's got a holiday club Monday/Tuesday next week, and I think they have spaces later in the week too, so if she enjoys it I might book her in for longer.

liv sounds like a nice end to a difficult day

Light I hope dd settles down into the rhythm of the holidays soon. It will be lovely to see the butterflies hatch.

We’ve had a tricky couple of days. Ds had a massive tantrum yesterday afternoon and then this morning we got to school and he then refused to go in. I ended up taking him home because it was just too much and they were supposed to be going to church so not a typical morning anyway. He spent the morning at home and then went in for a couple of hours this afternoon perfectly happily . I seem to spend my life trying to guess what the issue is.

Roll on the holidays. I have another three days of this - it’s really quite exhausting.

@LightTripper My DD is going through that too. She seems to be at her top notch of "I can cope with this". School finished yesterday and thank God it did as she started hitting the other children for being too close to her for the last couple of days. Her TA came back this week after being off sick and it seems to have thrown everything off again. TA said she saw "intense fear" in DD with other children and also observed that her speech had deteriorated too. Her speech has regressed I think, she's really struggling to get words out...a real physical struggle where she's bending down to the floor, grappling her arms and looks exhausted afterwards. I'm thinking I will have to put in a lot over the summer to keep things calm and routined for her. Any little thing is throwing her off kilter at the mo and it is so sad. I hope things get easier for her.

She right light a day is very long! Hope she enjoys the holiday club.

I'm sorry you're having a tricky time open. You're nearly there

Sorry furrycat hopefully she will relax a bit over the holidays. I think it all a bit much for them at the end of the school year.

furry sorry dd is exhausted. Hopefully she’ll be back on form soon with a bit of rest and downtime. What sort of things does she prefer to do given the choice?

I have given up trying to make teacher thank you cards. I have never met a child so resistant to doing any sort of painting or colouring or such like. I’ll just have to buy some which is a shame.

We went to a sn’s session at a soft play that we haven’t been to for a couple of years (it’s nice but 30 mins away and there are closer ones). It started at 9:00 which is a pain on a Sunday but ds enjoyed it and they run it fortnightly so we’ll go again next time.

Ds is asleep already. He’s been awake since 4am so quite exhausted. I’ve no idea what’s going to happen tomorrow with school...

@danni0509 how did you teach your ds digraphs? Ds knows some of the phase 3 ones (and all of the phase 2) but is struggling with the current batch I’m doing. Probably just needs some more repetition.

Open he still doesn't know all the phase 3.

I do them maybe 3-4 times per week at bedtime. He'll say them after me, I think right he's got this now, then next time we do them he's forgot. He knows about half of those.

He can read level 1 books fine & some level 2, but quite a few of the level 2 (red band) books have a lot of the phase 3 sounds in the words so he is struggling to decode if he's not sure of the sound. Also the level 2 have longer words like cannot etc.

He's not co operating at all for homework at the moment especially reading he hates his reading books he has such a kick off if I get a book out, so I'm just letting him colour in and do a bit of hand writing mainly, he wrote TUI the other day (from the plane we went on) but he wrote it IUT he seems to always writes back to front! Although I knew what he meant.

What homework have you planned for the holidays?