Auties transition to Year 1 - thread 3

[LightTripper]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in reception year at school, going into Year 1 in the autumn. All welcome (also parents with older or younger children who want to ask questions or share their wisdom!)

Welcome!

I've been following her Dad on Twitter for a long time. It's been an absolute nightmare for them.

The thing is, there are so few suitable placements that even though they've now promised her one they are still waiting for a place to come free, and it could yet be months until she is moved from seclusion (and even then there is the fear it may all fall apart because of the damage that has been done to her). I know these situations are always very complex, and there will be plenty of details we don't know, but this can't be the right way of caring for people.

Did you see the story the other week from the woman who effectively escaped from one of these places and went abroad? She's called Alexis Quinn and has done a lot of press recently to try to highlight the issue. Various Health Secretaries have promised action but so far not much that I can see. I do worry that the incentives on the private providers are totally wrong (the longer people are in for and under the most supervision, the more they earn).

The scary thing is it will also put people like us off asking for help if we need it, for fear of something like this happening.

The damage that’s been done to her in this time will be irreversible surely? Poor child.

I agree re. asking for help. The fact that other people can keep you from your child is terrifying.

Clearly my finger is off the pulse as I hadn’t heard of the family before. Does anyone know if there is a petition for getting legislation reviewed in this area?

That is a truly horrifying story open, there have been similar cases in Sweden brought to light recently and it really upsets me reading about it.

That unit sounds absolutely horrific. If it's s tiny small comfort to anyone I can share that some of these psychiatric units are not as awful as that one. I sometimes teach in an unit attached to an adolescent psychiatric unit and the actual school part of it is lovely. The kids who are well enough to attend basically have lessons together in a cosy mini school. They put on plays and do all sorts of lovely things. I know it's not a place that anyone would choose to be in but it's been a real eye opener working alongside these kids and the teaching staff.

Who tells a 6 year old boy who has autism and anxiety that they have to go school other wise there mummy will get into trouble because of there attendance?

Harley some heartless people who aren't putting the wellbeing of that 6 year old first. Sorry they are being horrible

open glad your DS is feeling better. And well done to him on his spellings!!

Oh Harley, that's absolutely awful.

I just think you have to document everything and keep the LA, Sendiass, etc. in the loop. Is it worth trying your MP? I know they're all going to be distracted but their office should still be functioning I would have thought.

Open there was a petition but it's closed now sadly. It did get enough support for a government response - but whether it will actually result in action I don't know. I think we all need to look out for opportunities to keep the pressure on:
petition.parliament.uk/petitions/231406

And here is Bethany's Dad's twitter, if anybody uses it and would like to follow:
twitter.com/jeremyh09406697?lang=en

@Littleswede it was ds school deputy head saying to ds. He was sobbing his little heart out. Of tlhe says am not going i am not going to take him anymore and will be emailing school sendiass and la again tonight

Light I think I actually signed that. I hope so anyway. Her dad is a great advocate. I pray we are never in such a situation.

Harley your children’s school’s attitude is appalling. Your young child is being used as a pawn. I consider myself so lucky that we have an understanding school. Last year when ds was going through his period of refusal the head teacher told me not to worry and that she worried about the parents whose children were always ’ill’, not those whose parents were engaged - as you are. I say this not to gloat, this is surely the model all schools should follow?

Little that’s good to hear.

@LightTripper @openupmyeagereyes i have just emailed the head the la and sendiass and informed them what has happend on Tuesday and today and told them that the school refusal ia hard enough for him and us and that we will no longer force him in and put him though it with a non supportive school who are still saying hes fine when he clearly isn't.

@open i love what your head says and its lovely. Its horrible how schools like my ds's get away with it.

Thanks everyone for the welcome.

Jeb DS was ok in Reception, although his anxiety increased quite a bit in general and he had a few very distressing meltdowns at school.

I think the trigger is the move to Y1 and the massive pressure the class is under to do a packed day of formal learning, with a poor teacher who is visibly struggling and has been off sick a lot. I feel for her personally, but I blame the leadership for leaving her to flounder rather than supporting her.

I think there's a big gap between DS intelligence (is that the term?) and his ability to motor plan & process. He feels a lot of anger, frustration and failure, about writing in particular.

Dimples we are trying to stabilise DS at school whilst we look for another one. Systemic problems in current school so really no long-term future there, despite the massive upheaval it will be to DS to move. So I imagine we'd need to arrive in the new school and then start EHCP process ourselves? But my instinct is DS needs an experienced & thoughtful teacher as much as any 1:1 support from a TA. Does that make sense?

LittleSwede Thanks for Sendiass suggestion, I'm in the queue for advice from them.

Open In Reception DS had speech therapy, some Lego therapy, and a bit of extra fine motor practice. He was below expected level for writing but doing well with reading.

Harley I'm so sorry to hear what a rough time your DS is having. That's a miserable thing for the deputy head to say. Where are you up to with other schools, have you visited any yet?

@mapland yours ds sounds alot like mine he had some issues in reception but year one and the formal learning is to much for ds. My ds is a masker though and school just constantly say hes fine. They don't listen to anything i have to say and last meeting we have wouldn't even let us talk properly.

We have spoken to all the schools in our area and they all said off the record due to ds complex toileting issues they wouldn't be able to support it. I know that really they would still have to take him but it doesn't fill me with confidence to send him somewhere thats already having doubts. We have put a ehcp request in and we are currently pressuring the school and council to sort the ehcp out and support him properly.

In Reception DS had speech therapy, some Lego therapy, and a bit of extra fine motor practice

Is he still getting any of these MapLand?

My ds’ newly qualified teacher was struggling a bit too but the head gave him additional TA support and two other teachers are going in to support and mentor him too which I think is brilliant. I cannot imagine trying to control a class of 30 5/6 year olds, especially if you have a few difficult ones (I don’t think ds is one of these, thankfully. He has his own issues but obviously has 1:1 support and other interventions).

Ds had a rough night despite seeming back to normal yesterday afternoon. He was awake hourly from around 10-2 with a poorly tummy. It seemed to settle down around 2:30ish and he then slept until 5. He seems ok this morning.

Sorry ds has been poorly open. Hope he has an ok day today.

Could you ask for some reasonable adjustments mapland, like sensory breaks?

I'm sorry things are not getting better Harley.

Hope everyone else is ok.

We had changeover week for ds's 1:1. He now has two new ones starting next week. One does 2 days and the other 3. Both seem really lovely so hopefully it won't be too disruptive for ds. He seems to be having a pretty good/relaxed week.

The LA are still stalling on getting us the review paperwork back. Going to pester them again today. I hate having to do all the additional badgering on top of everything else!

@openupmyeagereyes hope ds feels better very soon.

@livpotter hope change over week goes well for ds.

Ds doesn't want to go to school today. Hes very clingy now worried his mummy is going to get into trouble and worried that the schools angry. I did ask pose the question in my email as well as why they just said mummy would get into trouble and not daddy.

A very good point Harley

@open it seems petty to ask the question but the school blame mummy for everything daddy is never even mentioned. I know they said mummy as thats what would affect ds the most simply because its me around all the time and daddy the one thats at work. But i had to say it as it should be about us both if anyone just because dh is ar work doesn't mean hes not interested.

Open Wow, what a positive approach from your Head. Encouraging to read these sort of schools exist. We are doing careful research to find a much better school now that the extent of DS' difficulties has become apparent.

Salt has signed DS off from speech work and downgraded him to 4 sessions per term of lego therapy. No extra fine motor support group or similar at school. Waiting for OT assessment for DCD later this month & will push for OT to ask school to put this in place. School fed up of me trying to suggest interventions in the interim.

School is inner city and problems are rife. DS class only has 17 kids as so undersubscribed but teacher still not managing.

We've simply got to get him out to start fresh somewhere new. Considering trying to move area if needed, outside city to where my mum lives as she is a big support and kids adore her.

DH wants me to home educate DS while we find a new school but I'm absolutely against it except as the very last resort. I give DS masses of support and always have done, but it would break me to try and be his teacher too.

liv I hope the changeover goes well and that this week continues to be relaxed.

MapLand we were lucky that we knew Ds had sn’s before applying for schools. We went out of catchment for this one as we were so impressed with it. It’s a small CofE school with about 170 children. The HT is great and a big believer in inclusion. I’m hoping she doesn’t leave before ds is finished there but she’s been at the school 6-7 years already so it may happen before then.

She’s a big believer in behaviour as communication too. When I help out at school events we are always told to get a teacher if we witness any behaviour as there may be sn’s involved that need specific interventions and only the teachers will be aware of this.

Ooh Map, that reminds me. I had a booklet from our LA which gave questions to ask schools if your child has additional needs, I think I still have it in a box. Would it be useful for me to dig it out for you?

I am having a massive wobble and wondering if i am doing the right thing but then when i ask myself the question what is the right thing. Not helpping the situation is the soreness he has his skin is now all peeling.

Harley it’s so hard. I think you have to do whatever your gut tells you. If it doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t.

Can you arrange to meet with the LA person away from the school?